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Jem
Posts:1
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| 02/17/2011 9:11 PM |
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| I have read the For Women Only book and another book about Purity.
It brought a question to mind-- My boyfriend and I have been together for awhile. I imagine we will be married in a few years. So I heard that masturbating is an emotional hurt being covered up. At the moment we are long distance.
A couple times over a phone call I hear him playing with him self i don't know what to say. We don't have phone sex. Just how are you and i miss you talks.
I really don't want to be left in the bed during marriage and he finishes his deal without me.
How do i talk to him about it? |
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auoboe
Posts:1
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| 03/06/2011 10:50 PM |
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| I understand what you are going through. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years, and he has struggled with masturbation for most of that time. We also plan to get married within the next couple of years. I have found that it is important to realize that what he is doing is not something you caused, and it's not something that you alone can stop. First of all, do realize that masturbation is a sexual sin often referred to in the Bible as "sexual immorality." The Bible does actually say to "flee" from it (I Corinthians 6:18). Talk to your boyfriend. Let him know your concerns and fears, but choose your words carefully so that he doesn't go into defensive mode. If you haven't read Shaunti's book "for women only," I would highly recommend it, and those passages of the book that talk about pornography could also be helpful in this battle. For me, it has been a long battle. But we have found that it helps for him to be open with me about when he is being tempted and when he messes up. I used to feel as though he just didn't care about me or didn't want to wait for marriage or even for me, but now I realize that he is constantly being bombarded with sexual thoughts and images that he can't get out of his brain and he sometimes feels like masturbation is the only way to relieve the pressure. Now when that happens, I let him know that I do not approve of what happened, but I am willing to move past it and help him to keep going in this battle. It is most important to let him know that he cannot do it alone, but that he does have all the tools necessary for winning the battle, 1) your support and love 2) and GOD! Encourage him to spend some time alone with HIM. You should also pray with him and pray for him CONSTANTLY as he faces the struggles everyday. God bless you both. I pray that you both find a way to please the Lord through your relationship. All praise, honor, glory, and power be to HIM! |
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