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Amethyst90
Posts:12
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| 11/01/2008 6:32 PM |
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Okay...I've got a kinda long story, but here goes...
A friend of mine from work told me she had this guy "picked out" for me, one of her friends. Anyway, she told him a little about me, and he got to see pics of me on mypace. He seemed really interested in me...and in important things, too...like being a Christian, virgin, not drinking, stuff like that. So, he was going to come to this Christian teen gathering that we have every other Sunday, and we were gonna meet there. But, he called my friend and told her that he was on his way, and he ended up having to help his sister move or something. He asked her if I was mad, and she told him I wasn't mad, but I was disappointed. So, we tried to meet at the following gathering, but something else came up. Now, I'm feeling a little confused and hurt about it. I don't understand...was he just busy, or is he not interested, or is he afraid of meeting me? Any thoughts?  |
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wjr1991
Posts:232
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| 11/01/2008 7:50 PM |
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I would have to say it's probably either a, c or a and c. It could well be that he's validly busy- or that he's a little scared about meeting you. Maybe you have a better workplace than I do, but where I work, I wouldn't allow myself to be set up with any girl by them, even if they swore she was as pious as Augustine... and even if I had reason to believe them, I would find it so awkward that I would probably hesitate a lot too- especially with the expectations and feelings of obligation.
Wait it out- if he still hasn't made it after another two or three meetings, but still says he's interested, challenge it... like "If you really are interested, prove it- either show up next week, or invite me to something you'll be at without fail."
This is assuming that you do trust this friend from work, and you got the same degree of treatment to his myspace stuff, and you're interested. But honestly, my advise to you would be not to put too much of an expectation of him to be "the one" until after you've met him and gotten to know him in a non-romantic way for a few months. |
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Support the cause at velociraptorz.org |
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Amethyst90
Posts:12
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| 11/01/2008 9:12 PM |
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Thanks! That's great advice...it's nice to hear input from a guy  Yeah, she's a trustworthy friend, and it's good to know that most likely, the reason he didn't come is not because he's not interested. I can understand that he would feel awkward... I did, too. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 11/01/2008 9:58 PM |
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| yeah, what I've learnt with guys is that they dont think like we think. If a guy doesnt see us, or txt back etc, we think he's ignoring us etc, but guys dont see it that way, they either forgot, or are nervious etc. |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Mike
Posts:89
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| 11/24/2008 8:27 PM |
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Posted By JoJo on 11/01/2008 9:58 PM
yeah, what I've learnt with guys is that they dont think like we think. If a guy doesnt see us, or txt back etc, we think he's ignoring us etc, but guys dont see it that way, they either forgot, or are nervious etc.
...or are trying to come up with something to say but are failing...or are simply scared of doing so (he could be shy)...or are merely struggling to keep up with everything going on (school, work, perhaps college apps) and just can't take time out yet.
Guys do not think at all like girls do (and that's why FYMO and FYWO are such good books)
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maddiegirl
Posts:210
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| 05/25/2009 4:43 PM |
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| hmmmm ummm id say maybe somethin did come up or maybe not. just wait and trust God and try to get together again. |
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if uturnchic
Posts:75
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| 08/10/2009 3:30 PM |
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| I have the same problem. My friend is trying to hook my up with a guy. She's told me about him, and told him about me. i've seen him at the mall, but that's it. He really wants to meet me, but is always gone out of town. He's everything i want in a guy, so i want to just meet him for now. Did I do something? Or is he just not interested? |
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We are His portion, and He is our prize; drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes. If His grace is an ocean we're all sinking. Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss, and my heart it turns violently inside of my chest. I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us.
-David Crowder Band |
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Scifi
Posts:68
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| 08/10/2009 11:27 PM |
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This sentence may burst some bubbles, so do be warned.
Some guys are utter pricks.
For example: there are some guys out there who would organise these meet up situations then not turn up for the fun of it.
HOWEVER: Most guys are not like this. Most guys honestly don't want to see a girls feelings hurt, and often are too scared (not that they'd admit it) to talk to a girl they like. Also a lot of the time they also don't know what to say (although they wouldn't admit this either). |
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"The purpose of Christianity is not to avoid difficulty, but to produce a character adequate to meet it when it comes. It does not make life easy; rather it tries to make us great enough for life." -- James L. Christensen
"For a small reward, a man will hurry away on a long journey; while for eternal life, many will hardly take a single step." Thomas a' Kempis (1380-1471)
----
Scifi |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 08/26/2009 10:20 PM |
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The boss at my new job (a cafe) has decided that everyone should be married young. It "keeps people out of trouble." I see his point, but I'm really uncomfortable with him trying to set me up. He's very conservative, and I'm... not. That doesn't really bother me, I don't mind disagreeing and we've agreed that we can talk about our different opinions and it's all good. The thing is, I feel condemned by him. I'm frustrated that he always has a verse or quote about how he is a sinner but by God's grace... or whatever. I just feel like he is quoting at me. I feel like he is trying to convert me. I've never had any loyalty to any denomination, I'm just "Christian."
So anyway, I'm very uncomfortable with the fact that he is trying to set me up (though he's only said he's a "husband finder," I don't think he has anyone in line yet... I admit I laughed when he said that, I thought it was a joke). I think I'll feel obligated to give whoever he finds a chance, but he really has no right to try to find me a husband, it's not his place and I'll resent it. I've told him that I'm really not ready to be married, it's for some people but not me. When he started talking about roles and the "sacrifice of marriage" I just shut my mouth. I have my own opinions but I didn't think it was important, worth it or appropriate to "discuss" it at the time.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? I'm not really sure if I'm not just ranting at the moment, but if anyone has anything to say about this, I'd really really appreciate it. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Lindsey
Posts:70
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| 08/28/2009 11:10 AM |
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I think he was so worried that you might not like him or somthing else,sooo he cept on putting it off.You should try emailing him and wait till you both seem comfortable with each other.Then you should meet in person.
-Lindsey=) |
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Lindsey
Posts:70
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| 08/28/2009 11:16 AM |
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Adelynn,You should try avoiding your boss(if you can) as much as posible.If I where you I would tell him off.He has no right to talk to you about that sort of sobjectOh yeah,dont really tell him off.
I hope things work out okay.
-Lindsey=} |
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Lindsey
Posts:70
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| 08/28/2009 11:17 AM |
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| ooops I spelled subject wrong!!!!!!!lol |
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Sandy
Posts:48
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| 08/28/2009 10:41 PM |
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well imo, i don't think avoiding your boss is the answer. well you can keep yourself busy, but don't purposely go out of your way to not cross paths, that may not help. you should just politely decline and let him know that you would rather not talk about your personal life. remind him yet again that you're not ready for marriage. i don't know what else to say. if you stand your ground he'll probaly leave you alone. why would you feel obligated to give the person a chance?
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 08/30/2009 7:17 PM |
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I wouldn't feel obligated to go out with the guy or anything, but after all the things I'm hearing about how hard it can be for guys to even start a convo with girls, I would hate to brush him off. But it's different somehow if the idea is put into someone's head from the beginning than if two people just become attracted to each other. I'm not sure I normally wouldn't slightly avoid a guy that I've just met who thinks we should go out (in a serious relationship), because I'm really into not wondering if every guy I meet is "the one."
Avoiding the boss isn't possible, and tomorrow it's just us behind the counter all day. I think it'll be alright, I'm not afraid of disagreeing with him. I'm just worried that I'm too unafraid of being confrontational sometimes. But I think that it'll be okay. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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