**Jes :-)
Posts:154
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| 12/09/2008 3:51 PM |
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this may seem like a wierd question, but i'm still gonna ask it! why do some young or even older people get married and then shortly after that start fighting? is it simply cuz the world is so corrupt? an on the other hand there are so many people out there that wood gladly get married and they don't find anyone. i have a friend who got married at a young age and her husband is young to. now he seems like a mean guy who thinks he owns her and can treat her like a dog and so on! to top it off she is pregnant! and you're probably thinking why i didn't try to talk her into not marryin him before she did, i sure did but she seemed to think she was on the right track! i suggested that she maybe wait till she was older, hoping she might get to see that how immature he really was. but she tolld me she didn't want to wait cuz then he might leave her!!!! i told her if he leaves you then let him go cuz he probably was not meant for you. but it didn't happen so they got married! i just can't stand the thought of him being mean to the child later on! |
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Derek
Posts:23
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| 12/09/2008 4:19 PM |
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| i'm thinking it's because they got married based on feelings, which will go away. they should have married based on commitment :/ |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 12/10/2008 2:00 AM |
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yeah, you gotta base marriage on committment, both to yourselves and christ!
If you dont have a strong foundation for your marriage, it wont work. you should know everything about the other person before you get married, and see how they react to their parents, their siblings etc, cuz that's how they'll react around you eventually.
My cousin married this guy (they were in their 30's.) she wanted kids, but after they got married, he didnt want any, and he divorced her. It sucked so much!
Having a kid changes a person heaps. The new principle at my brother's high school was pretty tyranty with the students, when we heard his wife was having a baby, we felt sorry for the kid, but now that it's born, he is way different. but yeah. Maybe suggest marriage counseling, or a book on making marriages work??
Idk, Im only 4 months off 20, so Im not too sure how to answer this question...
But i also have to say this... Most marriages have stages of arguments etc, it's normal. it's because you're not used to having the other person so "in your life" that you have differing opinions on things, and you still havent learnt to compromise and figure out how to live with that person...
I hope i helped some, but maybe (if there's someone older than me on here...) someone can answer this question better...  |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
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God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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**Jes :-)
Posts:154
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| 12/10/2008 1:34 PM |
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ya to both of you guys jojo and derek! it might defiantly be that they based their dating relationship on only their feelings which has defiantly not been very honest feelings. which is to bad cuz of the kids that will have to suffer under those circumstances! cuz it will take a big miracle to save that marriage. sometimes i wonder tho so things like that happen cuz we need to pray more for other people? maybe God is trying to point us in that direction>
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Julie Fidler
Posts:172
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| 12/11/2008 8:21 PM |
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I've been married for 8 years, and my own marriage has struggled greatly over the years.
People get married and fight for lots of reasons, but stress is a biggie. Couples fight over money all the time. They fight over how to raise the kids. They fight over sex. Life is stressful, and it can take a toll on any relationship.
Then again, some people - like us - have issues in our past that never got dealt with, and that's half the problem.
-Jules
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Project Specialist for Shaunti Feldhahn |
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Derek
Posts:23
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| 12/11/2008 11:33 PM |
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| over sex? i don't think i would have guessed that... |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 12/12/2008 6:43 PM |
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| Yeah, of corse they fight over sex. Girls arent as "into" sex as guys. they don't want to have it all the time, and yeah... guys tend to want it WAY more than girls... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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joe
Posts:5
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| 12/23/2008 12:08 AM |
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| Yeah. i was wondering about how couples fight too. It just makes me sad because i imagine myself married someday, and i don't want to see myself fighting with my husband a lot. |
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**Jes :-)
Posts:154
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| 12/23/2008 1:52 PM |
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| yeah i agree with you too! i hate to see them not getting along! i don't understand why God let's people get married and then they end up fighting and to top it off they have kids and they have to grow up in such a mess and it effects them so much emotionally! i just can't stand seeing kids getting mistreated. but i sometimes wonder so people get married like that cuz we didn't pray for them enuf? if we wood have prayed more for them wood they not have gotten married? |
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SO1
Posts:113
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| 02/03/2009 3:40 PM |
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| My parents get into an argument @ least once a week usually cause my dad does something dumb and doesn't think it through or my mom is stressed out cause "she does all the work around the house" even though i take care of our dogs, do a ton of chores, my sis does laundry and her chores. it makes me mad when she says that because i know she's lyin' so i usually just take off on my bike 4 an hour or so till she cools down. so i'd say cause of stress or 1 of them does somethin' dumb. |
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Dream big dreams and trust the Planner of the universe to bring you your big love!! |
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Adelynn
Posts:189
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| 02/03/2009 4:12 PM |
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| Steven's (yes?) right, a lot of people say dumb things and just expect- or want- other people to just deal with it. But no one is going to just let it go, because our society is anti-humility and says Don't Back Down, and it gets bigger and bigger until everything is a mess. Sometimes that's personality, sometimes it's the experiences they bring to a marriage, sometimes it's stress. A lot of people get married for the wrong reasons, and/or because they aren't ready to put someone else first. I read a comment on this website in the FYWO section, one of the open ended questions for the FYWO guys survey. Paraphrased, it said that true love is when your wife is sick and you stay up all night with her, holding the bucket because she is throwing up. Sometimes we forget that. Sometimes we aren't willing to be that. |
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"... I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy..." Acts 2.17
What If His People Prayed? |
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SO1
Posts:113
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| 02/03/2009 6:44 PM |
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| Yeah, it's Steven. =} |
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Dream big dreams and trust the Planner of the universe to bring you your big love!! |
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artyprincess
Posts:226
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| 02/06/2009 3:28 AM |
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To have a marriage that works, and really works, both sides have to give their all, no matter what the other does. My Mum's words!!
Sometimes people just don't want to treat their partners nice because they're not being treated nicely back. Someone's gotta make the first move!!
It's so sad how many families are broken up. |
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God Can. |
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