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.l~em~onade.
Posts:5
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| 02/17/2010 8:45 AM |
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Hey everyone! First of all, I'd like to say that I recently read FYWO and it was really really helpful for me. It really opened my eyes to a lot of things I'd never thought about before in how I relate to guys. Secondly, I think these forums are so great! What an awesome way to discuss the book and cover even more questions and stuff  Yay!
So, here's my thought/question:
A major point in the book is how guys really want girls' respect, and it reeeally puts them down when girls disrespect them. That was really really good for me to read, because I'd never known that before to any degree, really... I'd never realized how important it was to guys. So that fact has been on my mind a lot as I've interacted with guys. But, here's the question.... how can I confront a guy about something and show him that I don't support certain choices he's making in an encouraging, loving, and *respectful* way? Is it possible? I'm in a friendship with a guy where I've realized there are things about his life that I don't support, and I feel like he should know that. I don't necessarily want to *change* him, his choices are his own... but I feel like it could be helpful for him to hear my thoughts, as a peer. What do you all think? Girls, do you see where I'm coming from? Guys, what are your thoughts from a guys' point of view?
As much as I want to respect guys, I don't want to just blow off wrong things just for the sake of respecting them, when I know that it can be addressed in a respectful way.
Thanks so much! |
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~|Emily
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
{Lamentations 3:21-24} |
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.l~em~onade.
Posts:5
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| 02/17/2010 8:47 AM |
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| woah, sorry for the super long subject title... all i typed was "" and it came out with all that HTML =P |
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~|Emily
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
{Lamentations 3:21-24} |
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dqchristian
Posts:33
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| 02/17/2010 11:42 AM |
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| Well, personally, I wouldn't mind a girl coming up and telling me if I'm doing something wrong (although it might embarrass me) as long as she is kind when doing so. |
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"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, it's playing a poor hand well." |
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Adelynn
Posts:443
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| 02/17/2010 12:31 PM |
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Welcome, girl!
I see where you're coming from- you want him to know that you don't condone what he's doing, right?
I like that you realize that it isn't your place or job to "fix" him, and you probably won't be able to. No offense to you, but guys hate people trying to change them!! I guess we all do, huh?
Confrontation can be awkward, I mean think of a time when someone told you something straight up that you didn't like! So maybe if it comes up sometime, just in passing, whatever it is, you could say something about how it bothers you. Be really honest about how it bothers you, but, like you kind of said, he doesn't want to hear a huge list of all his "issues." No lectures! =P
Also, it would be really great to think through what you would say if the opportunity to talk did come up. That way you aren't stumbling, and you will be more likely to get across what you actually want to say than worrying later that you missed a main point.
This is totally irrelevant, but I once had a guy ask me how homeschool co-ops work, and I told him that we all get together and read through the textbook. I already know how they work and what I was trying to say, and I hadn't ever had to explain that there is a teacher that teaches the class, just like at school!! So he walked away with a very confused understanding of what I was trying to say, because I missed telling him something important. If I had taken the time to think about the difference between what I was trying to get across and what was actually being said, I might have caught it and he wouldn't think that homeschoolers just sit around in a dingy room reading textbooks all day. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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.l~em~onade.
Posts:5
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| 02/18/2010 3:27 PM |
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| Thanks so much! Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I'll be thinking about what you said and keeping it in mind when I see him |
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~|Emily
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
{Lamentations 3:21-24} |
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Lucky Albatross
Posts:43
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| 02/19/2010 1:14 AM |
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| The two of you are friends, so I'm going to assume he respects your opinion. Me, personally, I'd rather hear it from someone I know and trust than from another. Other than that, be honest and straightfoward. With that, I'd be willing to bet he'll change or adjust his habits for you. |
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Won't somebody tell me, answer if you can!
Won't somebody tell me, what is the soul of a man?
Blind Willie Johnson |
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