clare
Posts:932
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| 11/25/2009 3:33 PM |
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| In a guy's case he can ask her! I guess a girl could too. If a girl likes a guy for more than his looks or gifts, she will treat him different. Maybe be more serious, and treat him like a brother. If a girl is after your attention, she will flirt like crazy, dress in a way to get looks, and do everything she can to get him to ask her out. Those are the shallow girls who chase guys because he's good looking. |
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newbie
Posts:6
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| 12/05/2009 2:16 PM |
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| well i was expecting to breaze through the book knowing already what it said. But the part where guys talked about mean girls really convicted me. Im a pretty nice person but to think about all the stuff ive said about girls i was mad at to my guy freinds makes me want to cry. I have porable lost so muhc respect from all them by now. I also noticed the part about respect for guys. I normally treat guys as if there fealings and secrets dont matter and thats going to change. |
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Hi there. |
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Natalie
Posts:8
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| 12/07/2009 9:24 PM |
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| Yes, that's exactly how I felt as well. It made me remember all the times I've said something that a girl most likely wouldn't find disrespectful or hurtful, but that a guy would. |
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"Hope is the thing with feathers,
that perches in the soul,
and sings the tune without words
and never stops at all."
-Emily Dickinson |
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Natalie
Posts:8
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| 12/07/2009 9:24 PM |
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| Yes, that's exactly how I felt as well. It made me remember all the times I've said something that a girl most likely wouldn't find disrespectful or hurtful, but that a guy would. |
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"Hope is the thing with feathers,
that perches in the soul,
and sings the tune without words
and never stops at all."
-Emily Dickinson |
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Shortnsassy3436
Posts:21
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| 12/08/2009 10:17 AM |
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| the hardest thing was the Respect chapter because I know that before reading the book I was kinda mean ( in a joking way) with most of my guy friends...and some of the things guy think of when girls dress a certain way are hard to hear because I question myself alot now with the way I dress, even if it is decent. |
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<3 One tear in the driving rain,One voice in the sea of pain,could the maker of the star hear the sound of my breaking heart. - Tenth Avenue North, Hold my Heart. <3 |
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Tally C.
Posts:28
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| 12/26/2009 3:15 PM |
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| I didn't really find anything too hard to hear, but I was amazed at some of the answers on the survey questions when they were listed. The answers that I thought were the obvious answers, weren't the majority! As I read, I also found that guys weren't as difficult or totally out there as some people think. When I found out that they liked respect, I realized that they don't get nearly enough of that and that girls tease them just jokingly way too much, not really realizing what they are saying. So, all the guys who helped out with the book are awesome to explain stuff that I other wise wouldn't have know. Cheers to you! XD |
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I'm giving my life
to the only One
who made the Moon reflect the Sun
every starry night,
that was His design |
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Tally C.
Posts:28
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| 12/26/2009 3:17 PM |
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oops, I meant to say *known, not "know". lol  |
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I'm giving my life
to the only One
who made the Moon reflect the Sun
every starry night,
that was His design |
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Raydio
Posts:1
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| 02/02/2010 9:27 PM |
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| I think what got me the most (so far, I'm not finished with it yet) was how visual guys are. I feel bad for them, and it really makes me want to make things easier for them. I think I definitely respect guys more because of how strong they have to be to beat down the tempting visualizations of girls. |
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MehNamesBLAIR
Posts:5
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| 02/07/2010 2:21 AM |
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| I didnt find anything hard to hear it was interesting and super informative. the book made me realize my misakes and how to take care of others(guys)better. What actually got me the most in the book was the RESPECT part. im usually really respctful in general and i know that there are ils out there who disespect boys alot...you know? i truly didnt realize how guys felt about being disrespected and now i know to becareful with w gys feel because guys are fragile too xD haha that never hought id hear myself saying that...it makes them even more sweeter though |
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Elaina
Posts:5
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| 02/14/2010 9:56 PM |
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| Hardest to hear? Well, probably that guys are attracted very much to the physical (especially where figure is concerned). Makes me feel kind of worthless. I used to be a pretty busty girl, but now I've lost a lot of weight, so while my figure's kind of attractive, it's not what it used to be. Because of this I don't feel as "worth it" as I used to. It was refreshing to hear, though, that guys aren't looking for a supermodel. I thought it was very interesting that they want a girl who is a healthy weight. It makes sense. |
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Victoria
Posts:11
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| 11/15/2010 5:18 PM |
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I think the whole chapter on dressing amazed me. Sure, I had heard from my mom countless times why she doesn't let me wear bikinis (now there is no way anyone could make me wear one!), but it just felt like another thing she nags me about.... I had NO CLUE what an affect it had on guys, and how I had been dressing in a way that most likely caused sinful thoughts to guys.
Also, I realized how, in the way I spoke, I was tearing my guy friends down in my jokes while i really should have been building them up for doing great stuff! I actually started crying, because I felt so guilty about what I had done, and I realized why there was always a kind of akward silence after I said something like that (I used to think they were just thinking, not feeling hurt).
This book really changed how I interact with my guy friends! Thanks SO much, Shaunti and Lisa!
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cassie14
Posts:68
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| 11/15/2010 7:25 PM |
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| iv grown up in a prety big family 9 kids sooo i knew bout most all that but it kinda suprised me at how much guys want respect over love! that was like a punch in the face! :-/ cause i can be really more abrupt n come across prolly more like "dont mess with me or il knock ya out" type girl n i am that way but i relized of how things i have said in a jokingly way could have hurt the guys feelings or thought i didnt respect him n i did or do i was just jokin so im startin to work on that n i understand more now of why my parents are soooo cautious bout how we dress all in all even tho i knew most of the subjects i understood them alot better after readin it n now i wanna read fymo to see how well they do on the girls |
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*judge no one* |
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CNB
Posts:16
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| 09/27/2011 2:34 PM |
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| Well, I definitely didn't know respect was such a huge deal to most guys. But the most shocking thing was the visual section. You always hear, 'guys are visual' but it never really was explained to me until this book and WOW! That must really stink. I just finish FYMO, and found it interesting that guys think we dress in a certain ways because we WANT to have sex with them (!) when really we just do it to be stylish or feel cute! :/ So the picturing us naked all the time thing? That was pretty shocking and frankly made me a bit disgusted and sick in the stomach. After raeding that, I still dress so I feel cute buy I am MUCH more careful about how much skin is showing, v-necks, etc. GIRLS TIP-Wear a tank top under every shirt and tuck it into your jeans/pants/bottoms....then when you bend over or whatever you toushe isn't hanging out for guys to look @! |
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Ajjpowell
Posts:2
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| 10/19/2011 4:45 AM |
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| I noticed from what i have read on here (this is a guy venturing in at his own risk) most girls took the book saying that all guys just stare at girls and imagine them naked or something like that. Not all guys are like that. some guys take being christian very seriously and have taught themselves tto 'behave' for the lack of a better word. |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 10/19/2011 6:37 AM |
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I will say that alot of girls do... and I personally know guys who can control themselves... but i also know people who have struggled with it and because of it, i tend to not invite them to say "beach events" because I know it's a stumbling block form them (and not being mean there, they've asked me to do that kinda stuff)
but in saying that, it is making girls aware that how they dress does deeply affect alot of guys. but again to quote David again, a girl would have to wear a paper bag to not be noticed as a girl...
anyways... haha. on that point, girls also don't always expect the guy to fix everything... and guys often don't understand that (just coming from a girls perspective... like if I'm telling you about an issue, you just need to listen, not figure out a solution  haha. and most of my guy friends feel they need to fix the problem) |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Stahrlite
Posts:2
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| 10/31/2011 6:43 AM |
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| iv only just found the FYWO book and it completely changed the way i talk to the guys i know. There wasnt anything particularly hard to read in the book but the most eye opening part was the respect chapter i think. I really didnt know that what i said to or about one of the guys would affect them that much. I still have to stop myself sometimes when im talking so i dont say something that might affect them like that. its weird but you notice the difference when you arn't cutting them down all the time. |
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Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and perfect and acceptable will of God. Romans 12:2 |
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cassie14
Posts:68
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| 11/20/2011 5:04 PM |
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Posted By Stahrlite on 10/31/2011 6:43 AM
iv only just found the FYWO book and it completely changed the way i talk to the guys i know. There wasnt anything particularly hard to read in the book but the most eye opening part was the respect chapter i think. I really didnt know that what i said to or about one of the guys would affect them that much. I still have to stop myself sometimes when im talking so i dont say something that might affect them like that. its weird but you notice the difference when you arn't cutting them down all the time.
i completely agree with you!
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*judge no one* |
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jessie
Posts:6
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| 11/20/2011 10:53 PM |
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I too agree with you Stahrlite (and cassie ). I have a younger brother, and we tease each other a lot, and sometimes i've taken it too far, and i know after that i hurt him, but never really understood why. After reading the chapter on Respect i realized how my teasing had affected him and that i need to change my thinking and watch what i say.
And as someone mentioned before that their guy friends confirmed what the books says, i asked my brother some of the same questions and his answers lined up too. That was a real eye opener for me.
I have definitely changed the way i talk to guys and approach them. The book has actually made me more confident in my ability to talk to guys. I've always been nervous before about talking to guys because i didn't want to send mixed signals. But this book has made a lot of things clearer and I use it as a reference often when i'm not sure about how a certain action of mine will affect my interaction with a guy.
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lindsay.k.s
Posts:7
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| 12/02/2011 11:19 PM |
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The hardest to hear for me was that guys felt little or no responsibility to stop a sexual encounter if they thought it was going too far, especially among Christian guys. So often I'm told men are to be leaders for women, but then to find out they are actually that weak to their own feelings... it's kind of scary to think they'd just abandon their leadership role so easily. I don't think I would ever give in to temptation and go too far... I'm pretty solid in God, and I don't say that lightly... but if I ever should find myself in that situation, it is not comforting to think a guy would just give in to his wild feelings and then be like "This is all on you! You didn't stop me soon enough!" I don't want to sound harsh, but that is how the chapter came across to me.
What left me with more questions was this one thing: Guys say they are looking for a diamond in the rough and that personality is just as important as appearance. They say all types of girls can be attractive, and that they want a virgin, and that purity is important. But then when I think of all the guys I know, Christian or not, they may say the same thing, but then who are the girls they like and flirt with? The worldly, immodest ones. I don't understand how guys can say, "I expect you girls to be like this and this when I'm ready for a serious relationship, but for now I'm just gonna ignore you and flirt with the Sports Illustrated hot chicks." I think it's a two-way street. If you really want to date a pure girl, she should be the one you give attention to! Does this make sense?
Again, I don't want to get down on guys! I loved the book (it was eye-opening) and am so happy for the opportunity to ask these questions. But I'm just still unsure on these two issues. I'd appreciate if someone could explain. |
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LKS
1 Timothy 4:12
Psalm 37:5 |
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Samuraigrant2
Posts:8
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| 12/11/2011 12:04 AM |
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| Taking a risk here (as a guy(go ajjpowell )) I think that the respect thing (while it is important) is a little overblown. I mean, sure, it's awesome when we're respected by the girls in our lives, and even by the guys, but even so we still appreciate the joking and stuff. I think as a tip for y'all I would say don't change who you are to meet a guy's standards for you (or.. What you THINK his standards are for you) because if he liked you before then it's likely to blow your shot at being more than friends with him anymore. Just something to think about..... |
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