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Adelynn
Posts:189
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| 05/12/2009 2:35 PM |
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I have a question for everyone... if you like a girl, and she happens to be wearing something a little on the immodest side (say you're at the beach and she's wearing a bikini, or you're hanging out and she's wearing a cami or w/e), does it affect you or bother you more than if a random girl dressed like that? Or for da grlz, if a guy you are crushing on has his shirt off- does it affect you more than some random shirtless guy?
I think I'm mostly good about how I dress, but... sometimes I can't even tell that something isn't exactly modest, so I thought I would ask. |
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"... I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy..." Acts 2.17
What If His People Prayed? |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 05/12/2009 7:35 PM |
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| LOL well, for me, being a girl... If I like a guy, unless he's DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, it normally doesn't effect me, but like the guy im interested in now... he is DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, so I have to make myself not stare at him... and I try to avoid seeing him w/o his shirt on... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Koudee
Posts:91
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| 05/13/2009 12:03 AM |
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If its a girl I know, normally I go ahead and let them know so they can change or whatever. Its harder to do that with strangers.
But if a girl I have a emotional connection with displays something (even on accident) its easy to ask them to change, or to look away because I know them, but that 2-3-4-seconds I saw something, or accidentley caught myself glanceing...Its much, much, much harder for me to not think about them later when I am alone. |
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artyprincess
Posts:226
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| 05/19/2009 5:00 AM |
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For me it makes it worse if a guy I like/ have liked has his shirt off.
Randoms..... well, I'm never gonna see them again, so it's no big deal. |
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God Can. |
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Cayla Renae
Posts:58
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| 06/05/2009 1:19 PM |
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For the most part, if I see guys without their shirts on (and it's not somewhere like the beach or a swimming pool where it would make sense) I just look away. It's not really a big turn-on for me, but I avoid looking just because I feel it's the right thing to do.  If it were the guy i was interested in, I really don't know if it would affect me - haven't really been through that lately!  |
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~created by the King to do good things~ |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 06/05/2009 6:07 PM |
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| This is something I've been trying to figure out. My parents ask all of us girls to wear long skirts, usually jean skirts. Are skirts more modest than jeans? Does it matter to a guy? My freind tells me I need to get into some jeans, he's not used to girls in dresses all the time and he wants me to be able to go on the trampoline with him Personally I don't mind jeans and I've been hinting to my mom I night start making my own descisions...but does it matter to a guy? |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 06/05/2009 11:32 PM |
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I think pants are fine as long as they're not super tight... (I have one of those pairs and they are so uncomfortable, and well, i dont wanna weird out my guy friends if I wear them, so i hardly ever do...
But I wear pants practically 24/7 cuz I impromptu-ly do cartwheels at any random moment  (well you get what i mean  ) |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Cayla Renae
Posts:58
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| 06/10/2009 12:09 PM |
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Clare, I totally understand that you would want to wear jeans! I'd want to hang on the trampoline with my friend if I were you, too. But I would encourage you not to go against your parents wishes by making your own decisions and wearing pants until they are okay with it.
"Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." ~Colossians 3:20
So if your parents say go ahead, that's great! If they don't want you to, I'm just throwing out a friendly suggestion that you don't, so that you can please God.
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~created by the King to do good things~ |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 06/10/2009 10:02 PM |
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| And to add to what Cayla said... if you do wanna go on the tramp etc... and you aren't allowed to wear pants... You could maybe wear shorts under the skirt?? IDk just a thought... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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David
Posts:499
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| 06/11/2009 3:48 PM |
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| Clare, no it doesn't. I don't mean to disagree with your parents (well, ok, I do, but I don't mean to disrespect them and I'm not telling you to disobey them), but jeans are not more immodest than a long skirt. They're definitely not more immodest than a short skirt. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 06/12/2009 5:42 PM |
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| thanks everyone. I asked my friend right out what he really thinks when he sees a girl in jeans. He didn't want to say it but he told me the truth. I think I'm going to keep wearing skirts until we are officially dating... |
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David
Posts:499
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| 06/12/2009 5:51 PM |
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| What does he think? |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 06/12/2009 8:56 PM |
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| He said yes, jeans do show a girls figure more. But that there has to be some physical attraction between a couple and when we are seriously dating he wouldn't mind if I wore jeans. Well ok....I didn't say anything back and he said he felt like a stupid jerk to have said that but I'm glad he was honest about what was going on in that guy's head of his. I gave him some verses from the Bible about why I dress the way I do and he never even noticed them before. Being a guy, David, would you be thinking he is a stupid jerk? I sort of made him tell me exactly what he was thinking. |
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David
Posts:499
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| 06/14/2009 9:22 AM |
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Jeans showing more of a girl's figure compared to skirts depend entirely on the jeans and skirts you are wearing. However, you might be confusing "showing figure" with immodesty. Is it possible for a guy to realize you have legs (and maybe even think they're attractive) without you or he being immodest? I think so. Unlike most in more conservative Christian circles, I don't think that noticing a girl has a nice figure automatically makes one lustful. Nor do I think that dressing in a way that fits or accentuates your body is necessarily, all the time immodest. Now certainly, a guy can lust by looking and a girl can]/i] dress immodestly with her choice of clothes, I just don't think it's every time, all the time. In that, I don't see any problem with girls wearing jeans, and I have to sort of disagree with your basic premise with clothing.
To answer your question, I would think he is very, very, very far from being a stupid jerk. In fact, he's not even in the same universe as being a stupid jerk. To be honest with you, and I mean no offense, but I think you're way overreacting. Again, I don't mean to encourage you to disobey your parents, but I think their (and subsequently your) stance on clothing is just a bit extreme. You must realize, God designed him to be visually and physically attracted to you. God designed him to think you beautiful; not just your face, but your shoulders, arms, chest, stomach, back, legs, etc., the whole thing. The fact that you can visually stimulate him is, by itself, a good, holy, pure, God given and God designed thing. It is not bad! And it is not lustful. Honestly, compared to the way a lot of guys think, you should think this guy is a practical hero for what he thinks as it's so far above the norm.
Again, I don't mean to offend and I'm not trying to encourage you to disobey your parents. I just strongly disagree with your and your parents moral premise on clothing. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 06/18/2009 5:22 PM |
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| The real me inside know you're right, I need to get over my opinions.I do overreact but it's because of the grip my mom has on me she's a bit over protective. From little on up it has been drilled into us what is" right" and "wrong", and now that I'm older I'm realizing that the "wrong" isn't wrong at all. I want to change, my boyfriend is being amazingly patient and encouraging. But the day I walk in the house in jeans my mom will be really upset and I may be forced to move out. It's that serious of an issue. Maybe now you see why I think like I do. I can never be who I am, every other thought is "what's mom gonna say." It's frustrating. I'm getting things figured out slowly and often what you say has helped my get things clear. Thanks!! |
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Aaron
Posts:3
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| 06/22/2009 2:23 PM |
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| No, I personnally don't think that pants are less modest than skirts, but that is my opinion. For me, the difference between pants and skirts is not that one is more modest than the other, but that skirts are much more feminine than pants. When I read your post I noticed that you never specifically said that your parents didn't want you wearing pants because because they were less modest. Maybe they prefer that you wear skirts because they are that much more feminine than pants? Just a thought. |
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Shelby
Posts:4
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| 06/23/2009 12:03 AM |
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personally,
i've always thought pants were more modest because most girls don't wear long skirts these days. honestly, i've always felt more comfortable pants. i have to say though that if you feel uncomfortable or immodest in something don't wear it because 1) you won't be able to relax and have fun and 2) your intuition could be right.
besides if the parents say "no" it's better to not do it
even if you think they might be wrong |
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Cayla Renae
Posts:58
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| 06/24/2009 12:38 PM |
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The real me inside know you're right, I need to get over my opinions.I do overreact but it's because of the grip my mom has on me she's a bit over protective. From little on up it has been drilled into us what is" right" and "wrong", and now that I'm older I'm realizing that the "wrong" isn't wrong at all. I want to change, my boyfriend is being amazingly patient and encouraging. But the day I walk in the house in jeans my mom will be really upset and I may be forced to move out. It's that serious of an issue. Maybe now you see why I think like I do. I can never be who I am, every other thought is "what's mom gonna say." It's frustrating. I'm getting things figured out slowly and often what you say has helped my get things clear. Thanks!!
Wow Clare... that sounds really rough, and I sympathize with you. Not because I've been through it, but because I know other people who have had to grow up like this.
I realize that you didn't ask for any advice or help on the subject (please forgive me if this offends you... I'm writing this out of concern and as encouragement!), but I'd really like to encourage you in some way to respectfully disagree, and still obey.
I don't know how old you are, but it sounds really hard for you at home. My suggestion to you is to find ways to go above and beyond the call to demonstrate Jesus' love to your mom and dad. It's never good to feel suppressed or to have someone drill their opinions into your head, but how you respond is entirely up to you. You could become bitter from this, or become better!
It sounds like you're a respectful girl who wants to do what's right... that's GREAT!  I hope and pray that you continue on respecting your parents, even when you move out and live according to what's right and wrong according to God instead of your parent's opinions.
God bless, Clare! |
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~created by the King to do good things~ |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 06/25/2009 6:20 PM |
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| Thanks everyone! This isn't the most peaceful time for my mom and I but it will pass, you all have given me some great advice. |
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if uturnchic
Posts:75
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| 08/10/2009 2:58 PM |
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| I think that non christian men do notice modesty! They might not care about it, (at least that's the way some guys i know are) but they do notice when a girl is covering herself up instead of showing off! |
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We are His portion, and He is our prize; drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes. If His grace is an ocean we're all sinking. Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss, and my heart it turns violently inside of my chest. I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us.
-David Crowder Band |
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