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Forums > Teen Online Forums > Advice From Fellow Readers
Subject: NEED HELP!!
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~NEW MEUser is Offline

Posts:33
07/31/2010 9:35 PM  
Hey guys i am new to this. Um well lets see. I jus recently got out of a kinda bad relationship wit my (so called) prince charming. We had been together for almost 4yrs. This yr an he broke it off. I as all girls would be was very broken. I was so hurt that i didnt kno wat to do. This was the guy who i thought was the best thing to ever happen to me. We started out prayin for each other an bein n tune wit God. Then some where down the road things got really off with us. He began to go out more an hang out wit all these girls. I noticed that he became more intrested in wat i looked like an wat i " HAD " if you kno wat i mean verses the kind lovin girl i am on the inside. I Let my gaurd down as i have before in the past. I thought this guy would really love an care for me like i knew i deserved but idk. It got to where i felt like i had to make him say i love you. I belittled my self for him. I felt like a door mat at his front door wit him walkin over me. I did evrything for him i would have gone to the moon an back. I kno it sounds stupid, but isnt that wat love does to us. Covers our eyes to see only good only wat we want to see not wat we need to see. I thought he would be the one. I do still have feelings for him but i am tryin to move on an tell my self you deserve so much more then this. Your a PRINCESS an your daddy is the ULTIMATE KING!!! I am now striving to live my life for me an do wat my DADDY would want from his lil PRINCESS. If you guys have any i do mean ANY advice i will greatly appriciate it. Please be honest it wont hurt me. THANK YOU!!!
clareUser is Offline

Posts:932
08/01/2010 12:52 AM  
Being walked on by a guy you really looked up to HURTS!!!! There was a guy I thought the world of, I was on cloud 9 when he came around and I trusted him completely...but mistake. He then broke up with me, came back a week later, broke up, came back, that went on a few months then I said I had enough! One of the most important things that will help is just time...a long time. And don't take this wrong, but you should get your self esteem back up. When I was going thru a lot my older sister would just sit me down and say "clare you need to get your self esteem up!" Do fun girly things, find books that are for women and help you see how beautiful and deserving of a wonderful man you are:)
~NEW MEUser is Offline

Posts:33
08/01/2010 6:21 PM  
Thank you so much clare for that advice. I understand what you were trying to tell me bout the self esteem thing. I try harder every day to tell my self i am beautiful jus the way God mad e me an he oves me thats all that matters. An the whole trust thing with your relationship. I was the same way i told myself he will never lie to you he will never hurt you. Ha ha thats funny. I was so blinded by him that i did not see reality though. Again thank you for your advice. It feels good to kno i am not alone in this. And guys if u have advice i would like to hear from you too.
ClockworkUser is Offline

Posts:0
08/01/2010 7:30 PM  
Hey, I'm obviously not a girl but I feel I could add something =P. First off, it's not love that blinds us, it's our desires. We want what isn't there most of the time, but because we (I say we because I am included and not necessarily centering on you) are in denial and refuse to accept reality, we pretend to be oblivious, assume things will get better and it's just a period of trials, or worst of all think that if we change or alter ourselves just a bit then things will turn aroud in the relationship. This is worst of all because you are not the problem. I say you as in "you" in general, not you specifically. Changing ourselves and mentally lowering our worth does not solve the problem, it only sparks new insecurities. So you will keep changing yourself and belittling yourself (as you said) hoping that eventually you will be at a place where the problem no longer exists. Obviously that does not solve the problem. You become so entangled in trying to please the one you admire so greatly hoping that the forceful, strong feelings you are emitting will be reciprocated back to you. This entanglement is the blindness that you experience usually, not love. And by no means am I saying you wern't in love, I don't have grounds to determine that, especially since I have never been in love myself heheh. As for right now, as Clare said, it really takes time. It's like being hung over or love drunk I should say lol (You know that was a good joke =P). It simply takes time to truly recover from those horrid effects =(. During that period you can involve yourself in a sport or set short-term goals for yourself. For me when I was heartbroken, I put most of my time and effort into football and working out. I was distracted from the heartbreak and focused on sports. Another thing I did was surround myself with my best friends. I spent as much time with them as I could. By doing that I realized I got the love and comfort I was looking for in a girl. Not like in a homo way but I felt the bond and security I needed for that point in time. Try it out, you seem like a cool person I am sure you have many friends to choose from!
~NEW MEUser is Offline

Posts:33
08/01/2010 9:11 PM  
Wow again clockwork. Thank you for that advice as well. I feel like you totally understand where i am coming from. I have never had that before. I try to tlk to my best friend but she is in a bind herself right now an can not really help me out. I think you are very mature an you look at life on a possitive note. I love that in a person. I try to be a possitive person. But bein in the relationship i was in kinda brought a lil of the negative side out of me i guess. That was a very very good joke LOVE DRUNK LOL. I never really thought bout the whole not blinded by love but blinded by desires and it really is true. It makes so much sense when you think bout it. I was blinded by my desires. I feel that is my weakness. I let my desires get the best of me an i lose who i really am inside. I think you give very good advice. AN like i said i think you are unlike any boys i kno. Youare sincere when you give advice. You dont do it to recive anything you do it to help others. Thank you again for the great advice.
ClockworkUser is Offline

Posts:0
08/02/2010 1:38 AM  
Lol no prob... I like helping others, it actually helps me feel better knowing people around me are feeling good. Also, it's going to be hard (trust me I would know) but I think the best way to get past your desires is to incorporate sports or any extracurricular activities into your life. And if you already have, put a HUGE focus on it. Tell yourself "I will be the best, better than all my competition". Set goals and ask God to help you stay focused. You can also ask Him to help with your desires, but remember the more you even mention anything about desires, the more you will think about them. Sorry if that is a little vague or short of an answer, I just got done running outside with my dad it's like 7:35 AM here in Germany. I am pretty worn out lol But the weather is AMAZING!
~NEW MEUser is Offline

Posts:33
08/03/2010 1:34 PM  
I love this feelin. I feel like i am not alone in this mess. I now kno that other people can relate. It gives me confidence. I kno now life does go on from here it does not stop for me. I cant let my past determine my future. I cant let what happen then affect my JOY an how i choose to live my life.
ClockworkUser is Offline

Posts:0
08/03/2010 2:27 PM  
That's EXACTLY right! You keep with that mentality and no doubt you'll be successful in life and even relationships.
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