Erica Allen
Posts:30
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| 12/09/2010 6:23 PM |
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Ok, so theres this guy named Matt in my youth. Hes pretty cool, but hes really immature for a 16 year old. But anyway he broke up with his girlfriend of 12 months two fridays ago. She was crushed, and really made hem feel bad. So that sunday he got a crush on this girl at our church named Josi...that lasted for about 2 weeks. Then he got a crush on this girl named Sarah at his job, shes not a "good girl" for hem. shes 16 and shes dateing a 21 year old. so hes really bumed about that. Theres also a girl at his school, that isnt good news either. Hes mad that another guy likes her...I love hem like a brother, but seriously!? Hes givin all his problems to me, Hes always txtn me about all this. im up till 11 on school nights sometimes jus tryin to get hem to chill out. Hes really gettin annoying and idk what to do about this.hes practilly driveing himself crazy because all of these girls. ive tried to help so much but i have problems of my own that im dealing with. SO PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!! |
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katy
Posts:8
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| 12/09/2010 9:46 PM |
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| guys are very senstive so watch what you say but tell him that you feel for him but he needs to relax because god wiil find him someone he doesnt have to always look! |
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Erica Allen
Posts:30
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| 12/09/2010 9:52 PM |
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| I've been telling hem that. An he says he wishes he was dead. An it's knda scary, I'm trying to help em but then again I'm a 14 yr old girl hes a 16 yr old guy. So idk if I'm n e help at all |
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Lucky Albatross
Posts:176
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| 12/10/2010 12:05 AM |
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Guys need to vent too!! He probably just wants someone to listen, and he trusts you with it. I was thinking about the chapter in FYWO talking about "safe girls."
See if you can get him talking in a face to face setting. Invite him to the coffee shop or something. Perhaps if he vents his feelings in that setting, it'll save you the time and the texts. Goes without saying, there's a certain amount of release in venting your frustrations out.
Also, if he does keep texting, just tell him at a certain time that you gotta go to bed or I'll talk to you in the morning about it and so on.
On the thoughts of death, if those are recurring with him, you might want to consider encouraging him to see a school counselor or at least tell someone he trusts. I don't think anyone wants to see him do something stupid.
Hope that helps somewhat! |
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One step at time,
I trust these feet of mine,
To carry me on to where I belong.
Mike Zito |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 12/10/2010 2:40 PM |
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| Ugh! I'm sorry Erica. I had a similar problem with a guy. See what Clare had to say on "Guys...Phones...I'm confused...". |
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Erica Allen
Posts:30
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| 12/12/2010 7:26 PM |
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| thanks yall. um idk i really wish he wudnt vent to me anymore. I have a guy frend in my youth and hes like my brother, We can tell eachother everything. Were so close. and Matts heard me talk about that so idk if hes comeing to me because me an my other friend are so close an he knows he can trust me or what. But im jus tired of it, an when i tell hem "im goin to let you go" he always ask why and its so annoying. i feel like he depends on me way to much an it drives me up a wall because i cant help hem any more really. I told hem to go talk to my youth paster about it an he wont ask hem. |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 12/14/2010 2:32 PM |
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I'm in the EXACT same situation!!!!! Sometimes you're just like ugh I'm tired of trying to help everyone, by now I deserve a license to be a counselor  Last night my boyfriend and I were together and I was chatting online with the guy and after a bit I told my BF to just answer the guy, some good sound guy advice was needed. I think the other guy got his feelings hurt a little!! |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 12/14/2010 4:11 PM |
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Sounds like a lose-lose situation to me, Erica. I guess, just ignore his texts from now on...? Sorry I can't be more help than that!
Clare, is your bf visiting for Christmas or something? |
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Erica Allen
Posts:30
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| 12/15/2010 9:57 PM |
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| darcie-thanks for tha help lol.
clare-um Matt got mad at me saturday night, because we had our church christmas dinner. He wasnt ther but me an our youth group were, My friend (guy that i said was like a bro to me)was there, an i havnt seen hem n forever because of a sitituation hes goin through, but anyway Matt was txtn me an stuf an i said "well im gona let ya go, im rlly wantin to hang wit my bro" an hes all like "why?" an so i let my "bro" answer it because i was geting mad. and then i got this txt at like 11:00 that night an he goes "wow" an im like what an he goes "idk" an its stuf like that that makes me so mad. Its almost like hes finding excuses to talk to me.... |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 12/19/2010 12:59 AM |
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ugh what a guy! I say maybe ignore him!!
@ Darcie, he is here for the winter  helping dad and stuff. I am LOVING it!!! finally getting to see how we really are in person |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 12/23/2010 1:58 AM |
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ok we had a guy at youth like that too...
my short answer, pray for him and maybe try to help him learn that he doesn't need to go from girl to girl... but God is most likely the only one who can really help him figure that out...
I'll reply more later |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Erica Allen
Posts:30
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| 12/29/2010 1:46 AM |
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| Jojo-ok um yeah ive def been praying for hem. this past sundy after church my "bro" an "Sis" came to my gmas to hang out, Matt was txtn me an my "bro" asked if he could reply so i said "yes" well he was askn matt if he liked me an stuff an matt never gave em a strate answer, it kinda freaked me out a lil bit bc i look at this guy as such a creeper now!! |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 12/31/2010 7:32 PM |
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haha yeah, been there, done that... I'm 21 and I have a few 16 year olds who like me... and it's hard, being a youth leader, cuz you dont wanna put them off of youth group, but you dont wanna lead them on either, and you don't wanna be harsh at the same time.
I donno, just make obvious statements around him like "At the moment, I'm enjoying being single" or whatever appys to you. My statement is I have a 3 yr limit both ways for guys, and he's so not in that age group, so it wont happen. but all I state is my 3 yr limit  |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Erica Allen
Posts:30
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| 01/11/2011 2:01 PM |
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| lol yeah, its jus really hard because our youth group is really little so it really shows when your closer to some people than others. I dont wana leave hem out but then again we all do. I hate being this way but theres only like 6 of us that are really close to each other an thats it. then tha others are just left out... |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 01/31/2011 1:35 AM |
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Well; he probably likes you but won't say so (Likes you, as in, for you physically, not necessarily your heart  ) or he has some MAJOR self esteem issues, which would indicate that he's not looking to God for fulfillment. |
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Erica Allen
Posts:30
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| 02/05/2011 4:22 AM |
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| Yeah, he has a very low self asteem. he looks so strong on the outside but really on the inside hes not. its crazy he dont go to god for anything |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 02/06/2011 4:47 AM |
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| i guess you can just pray about it, and maybe just be clear that you're just friends? but thats all, maybe get others to pray too? people you trust? |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Erica Allen
Posts:30
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| 02/10/2011 8:48 PM |
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| yeah one of my friends in my youth is praying for hem too. we told my youth paster about these girls and he kinda laughed. i know it sounds mean but u hav to kno my youth paster to understand lol. |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 02/11/2011 12:23 PM |
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| Who's we? You and Matt? Your "bro"? |
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Erica Allen
Posts:30
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| 02/14/2011 5:51 PM |
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| no, me and my friend keli. haha i wudnt tell my "bro" anything about matt he dont like em very much as is |
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