Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 12/13/2010 11:12 PM |
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(Just in case no one saw the last post), can the girls reading this post comment on how important confidence is for a guy and being yourself. Many guys are reading this so telling them what you want from them can help them. thanks again. lol
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 12/14/2010 1:00 AM |
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| Creating this post was a wonderful idea, Collin. I was actually thinking about the same sort of things myself. In my opinion, girls can play a big part in helping guys become more confident in Christ. I started a post called, "Guys, How Can We Encourage You?", but no one replied, lol! Perhaps my questions over there could help out here. Could we combine the two? |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 12/14/2010 2:03 PM |
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Yea that's a great idea. I'm all for it.
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 12/14/2010 4:13 PM |
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1) How can we girls make you smile when you're down? (Besides making jokes) How can we help you feel better in the long run?
2) Do you like getting little gifts from us for your birthday, Christmas, or even for no particular reason? Maybe home made cookies, a card, etc.?
3) How does it make you feel when a girl trusts you enough to call you to talk when she's scared about something?
4) What kinds of things make you cry?
5) Why do guys sometimes feel like a girl is "out of his league"?
6) How would you feel if a close female friend, who doesn't have any brothers, said to you, "I love you and if I could've hand-picked a brother, it would've been you."?
7) How can we talk to you about your feelings without seeming pushy? Does it bother you if we text/call/email/etc. you a lot (just as friends, not romantically!)?
8) Do you feel better about yourselves when we encourage you on a job well done and ask you how things are going every now and then? 9) Even though you may *never* talk about your feelings with your good girl friend(s), do you feel blessed knowing that she's there for you without having to know what your problem is, or do you just want a little space for awhile? |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 12/14/2010 4:19 PM |
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I'd like to say that it's true that girls like confident guys, but we don't want you to feel like you have to look "tough". That can really be a turn-off. We like to see you finding your strength in Christ, rather than trying to impress us.
In other words, we like it when we can tell that you're confident in the strength of God, in a similar way that many of you like it when girls aren't super-paranoid about their clothes and hair or whatever!!!  |
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Daughter_of_the_King
Posts:178
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| 12/14/2010 6:48 PM |
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| Well girls like guys who are atleast some what confident in them selves but mostly in God. And most girls hate a show off! And just as you want girls to be them selves we want you to be your selves :-) |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 12/15/2010 12:36 AM |
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1) How can we girls make you smile when you're down? (Besides making jokes) How can we help you feel better in the long run?
A: Give us a hug unexpectedly. Get us motivated
2) Do you like getting little gifts from us for your birthday, Christmas, or even for no particular reason? Maybe home made cookies, a card, etc.?
A: Oh yea. It makes us feel that someone cares.
3) How does it make you feel when a girl trusts you enough to call you to talk when she's scared about something?
A: It makes me feel great honestly. God made men to protect women.
4) What kinds of things make you cry?
A: I'm not going to say that I'm a tough guy that doesn't cry. Something needs to phase us really well for us to cry. We normally don't like to cry.
5) Why do guys sometimes feel like a girl is "out of his league"?
A: Simple answer.. the term "out of his league" is complete crap to me. No one is out of my league. The only reason is because this guy is not looking at himself the way God does.
6) How would you feel if a close female friend, who doesn't have any brothers, said to you, "I love you and if I could've hand-picked a brother, it would've been you."?
A: Well if this particular guy like his female friend, he probably didn't take the inatiative when he had it. She probably liked this guy at one point. But all he was giving her was mixed signals or nothing at all. He never really took the initiative when it came. Now it's nobody's fault, but he should have at a least done something.
7) How can we talk to you about your feelings without seeming pushy? Does it bother you if we text/call/email/etc. you a lot (just as friends, not romantically!)?
A: That's a tough one for me. I usually deal with my feelings. and yes it would probably bother us a lot. Us guys have a thing called caves where we like to enter and not be disturbed. I mean I'm sure other guys have reasons.
8) Do you feel better about yourselves when we encourage you on a job well done and ask you how things are going every now and then?
A: Everyone needs encourage from time to time.
9) Even though you may *never* talk about your feelings with your good girl friend(s), do you feel blessed knowing that she's there for you without having to know what your problem is, or do you just want a little space for awhile?
A: I would feel blessed knowing that she is there. But give the guy some space for a while. He needs to reflect by himself.
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 12/15/2010 1:38 AM |
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the term "out of his league" is complete crap to me
agreed!!!!! Idiotic crap!
A: Well if this particular guy like his female friend, he probably didn't take the inatiative when he had it. She probably liked this guy at one point. But all he was giving her was mixed signals or nothing at all. He never really took the initiative when it came. Now it's nobody's fault, but he should have at a least done something
I was talking about a guy and girl who are close friends but don't like each other romantically... and they've made it obvious. |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 12/15/2010 7:56 AM |
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| Ohh. lol. Well I guess it would feel quite alright if she said that I'm like a brother to her. |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 12/16/2010 3:42 PM |
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| What are some other things we girls can do that will build you up? |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 12/21/2010 4:44 PM |
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How do you get a guy to View himself the way God does and stop thinking certain girls are "out of his league?" or is that something only between him and God?
How do you get a guy to really believe it when you say you DO think they're handsome, or you really DON"T want them to die first when your old? Why do guys always try to convince their selves all this isn't true??? |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 12/21/2010 11:46 PM |
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| It has to start with how a guy views himself. He needs to view himself the right way. He needs to see himself as a confident individual. I know I'm always I'm talking about confidence on here, but the thing is confidence (not to be mistaken cockiness) is what separates the boys from the men. The eagles from chickens. Tell your guy friend(s) that it is time to see themselves as an eagle instead of a chicken. Eagles represent freedom and power. Chickens represent the food in my belly as I like to say. lol. Tell them to start using words of confidence. It is there confidence that will carrying them far. |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 12/22/2010 1:05 PM |
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| Love the illustration!!!!! |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 12/22/2010 2:26 PM |
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| And darcie to reply to your post before. Tell guys that they need to remember whom they came from and whom their God is. God powerful, amazing, and wonderful. |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 12/23/2010 12:52 AM |
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it's not really about being confident/cocky... it's more about being confident in who you are...
love yourself (in a good way) and appreciate who God's made you, and when you're content with yourself, girls find that amazing! cuz you're not fake. |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 01/28/2011 5:52 PM |
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Why did this thread become inactive? :/
Do y'all have anything to add? |
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Car.
Posts:2
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| 01/29/2011 4:53 AM |
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| something my girlfriend told me was "you cant love someone else until you've learned to love yourself." i learned to love myself when God showed me myself through His eyes. When you realize how much God really LOVES you then you will be able to trully love yourself. When you have that your irrisistable and you will be able to love without becoming needy or clingy which is a huge turn off for anybody. |
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James
Posts:124
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| 01/29/2011 5:00 AM |
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Sorry this must have been active just before I came back to this crazy place on the internet  I like to think of myself as confident in myself as an individual but I know there are plenty of things I still feel insecure about. Not majorly insecure, just unsure of my ability.
Regarding confidence, I think girls who respond strongly to our courageous acts. Even things like striking up a conversation in an awkward situation or when we go out of our way to help. If girls don't show appreciation it feels like it wasn't worth the effort because they didn't really want us to do anything.
1) Smiles/feeling down
Hugs are always great  asking how we are doing in a genuine way. I usually have to initiate hugs cause my friends are too lazy. Even just being lighthearted and happy to see us is great, being greeted with a warm smile and joking around is really uplifting.
2) Gifts
I rarely get gifts but when I do it feels good that someone went to the effort but often I feel either undeserving or I don't know what to do afterwards. It can be awkward too, I don't mind giving gifts but getting one unexpectedly or even as a birthday present is kind of strange.. not sure what it is really.
3) Being called
To be honest I've never been called by a girl who wants to talk to me, it does feel good when I girl wants to confide in me with something though. To be trusted like that makes me feel all.. manly. I am usually the one who tries to get them to open up though, my friends don't open up to me much on their own without alcohol haha
4) Crying
I have been crying much more lately, it's so strange. When girls are feeling hurt or sick and there's nothing I can really do about it makes me feel really down and useless but it doesn't make me cry. If I really miss a friend but I have been kind of fighting the feeling, thinking about it has made me cry before. The main thing that gets to me though is when I feel like I've let a girl down or when I feel like I've upset them in any way. It feels like I've betrayed them and because I always try to make them feel better, when it backfires it can easily make me cry.
5) Out of my league
I don't think it's so much the quality of the girl but if they think that the girl wouldn't look at them twice. There are plenty of girls who wouldn't ever think about dating some guys and some of those guys would sure think about dating the same girls. When you don't let God direct you it's quite a real thing. Thinking about it the 3 main girls I have liked in the past I considered mostly out of my league.
6) Loved as a Brother
I would feel very special, very loved and very mushy haha Something like that would pretty much make my week, even month. To know for sure that someone that you care for really cares for you is an amazing feeling.
7) Feelings and lots of txts
I wouldn't mind at all to be honest. I quite like talking about my feelings to people I trust. I don't do the hiding so much, I am more open about them than most of my female friends haha. If girls txted me HEAPS and we weren't great friends and they were always pushing to know what I was feeling I would get over it pretty fast but with the ones I'm close to, the more the merrier.
8) Encouragement
Being asked about my day or being told I did something well is pretty encouraging. It's always nice to hear that I am appreciated and thought of, no matter how random or whatever. When messages get really really generic it can seem like they don't really care but that doesn't happen much.
9) Friends being there for you
To be honest I don't always feel like they are there for me, I know they care and are always happy to listen but they tend to give me distance first and then figure it out from there. If I'm actually upset about something I would want a girl to come and talk to me. Sure if it's just happened or I'm still really upset I would want some time to myself but it doesn't go away by itself all that fast. I either let it out or just ignore it till I'm over it.
Some of those answers probably come across as a bit.. girly haha I've probably just been spending too much time with girls and not enough with guys so my manly bluntness is a bit repressed |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 01/29/2011 4:37 PM |
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| I think it would be sweet if a guy cried on my shoulder... |
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