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Mike
Posts:89
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| 11/24/2008 9:17 PM |
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I've sort-of asked this before, but I'll ask this and see if anybody's got something to add.
How can one remain "just friends" and not "boyfriend and girlfriend" (not just in title, but also in action and thought) when both of take an interest in each other and have done so for a few years (I'm avoiding the overused word "like" but that's what I mean) and both parties know it? Especially when they're both best friends with each other and both realize that dating should only be a preliminary to marriage.
Basically, how does one handle the "in between" zone between being just best friends and being boyfriend and girlfriend? They're both trying to put God first as best they can, but sometimes it seems to either one or both that they're dating when they really don't want to be at this point. Both families are involved and know why they're not dating, and there's open communication everywhere, but how should their relationship be?
They've both prayed and researched and asked questions on forums, and while they both now know it's best to avoid dating, they're unsure of how to be when they're at that point.
And we've been in this 'in-between' state since we were freshman and now we're seniors. I have seriously considered marrying her when we're out of college (if it's in God's plan) but I am unsure of how to act in the meantime, especially over the 4 years we'll be seeing each other less often.
I would prefer an answer from somebody older, especially somebody older
than me (18), because there's not really anybody we know who can
explain this to us, as most people just dated like normal. And even if you don't have an answer, if you know of a place like this forum except for older people, or know somebody who's been in a similar situation or who could offer advice, I'd be really appreciative.
Sorry I wrote an essay...I can explain more privately if anybody feels called to respond by email. I'm just yearning to hear God's voice but I can't seem to do so very well. (perhaps he's just waiting to answer me though)
Thanks,
Mike
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 11/24/2008 9:24 PM |
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your last sentence very well could be your answer for now...
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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artyprincess
Posts:226
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| 11/25/2008 3:39 AM |
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IDK! Keep praying, I guess. I'm no guru, and am myself eager to know how to handle that gap. I'm only 14, but it will be good to learn all I can so that I am prepared.
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God Can. |
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Kathryn
Posts:18
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| 11/25/2008 9:45 AM |
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1. Talk to your pastor about the situation, and maybe set up a weekly meeting with him to keep you accountable. You two as a couple could meet with him and his wife to make sure you two are on the same track.
2. set boundaries together about being alone, phone calls, how many times a week you see her.
3. Passion and Purity is a great book to read. It is written by Elisabeth Eliot and talks about boundaries while courting, and how to keep your thoughts and lives pure while you are waiting on the Lord in your relationship.
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 11/26/2008 4:11 PM |
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It is hard, but Kathryn has some really good ideas on this!
also talk to a couple who have been through your situation (ie courting) and ask them how they did it etc...
Keep praying, thats probably the best thing you can do. and I know waiting for an answer from God is hard, but trust me, if you keep pursisting, you'll know when God has spoken to you.
I hope that helps (Im 19, 20 in 5 months...) |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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wjr1991
Posts:232
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| 11/28/2008 9:12 PM |
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I'm not older, so I guess I'm not in the preferred age range, however I could ask my father to give a response...
Personally, I have my doubts that it is humanly possible to have a relationship that is not "just friends" and not "boyfriend-girlfriend"... or, more to the point, it is impossible to have a relationship that is neither romantic or unromantic. The only thing I can imagine besides those two is a friendship where one (or both) of the friends is (are) romantically interested in the other, but the other doesn't know.
My personal advise, though, would be to consult with the fathers about this... especially her father. (Yeah, I'm a father-freak... I think they make things run much more smoothly, for the most part.) |
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