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prettygirl
Posts:46
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| 10/01/2008 10:44 PM |
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| what do you think about dating friends? i have a friend that i like and he likes me and we both know it, but we're not allowed to date yet. we were planning on going out on group dates when he's allowed next year, but now i'm not sure. we're like super best friends and i really don't want to mess that up. i feel like i can talk to guys without him freaking out type thing cuz we're still not "official" but i don't know if i'm ready for commitment and if it'll change our friendship. any thoughts? |
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wjr1991
Posts:232
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| 10/02/2008 11:29 AM |
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prettygirl-
I was in that position earlier this year (as the guy- also not allowed to date). I can say that it will change your friendship- it could be good, or could be bad, but it will change. At 15, you can't tell what you'll end up doing. It turns out that my "ex-unofficial-girlfriend" feels called into missions... and if I am, I haven't heard it yet. Trying to reconcile two callings like that would ruin a marriage... so to a degree, we traded in an awesome friendship for a "good" one, and a few months of "thrill"... yes, there are other factors involved- it revealed some flaws in my character to me, it dissipated the pain of another friend of mine dying, and I'm sure it made my friend change too. Overall, if everything else were to happen the same, I'm thankful it happened.
However it doesn't mean I'd recommend anyone else to do the same thing. At 15, I would be surprised if you were ready for that kind of commitment, because there's almost no way to know if it will work out in the end, and a "super best friend"-ship isn't something you want to gamble away at those risks. (Granted, there are some really mature 15 y/os...)
I'm not telling you two to quit liking each other or anything... but until you're ready to date, it kinda needs to be a very small issue- like, almost irrelevant. If it's something that matters to you two right now, you'll be in that kind of relationship without "dating"... and that is mostly where the change happens... concentrate on being friends first and foremost- you'll probably end up with a better idea of who the other is that way, because "like" is almost always a mild form of insanity (credit goes to Ravi Zacharias for giving me that idea), and it's important that we acknowledge that.
Oh, if you ever want to tell him that you want to wait, you should make sure you say it in a way that makes it kinda plain that you are indeed waiting for him... so he's not like "she doesn't love me any more"... just saying it might happen.
Jojo and JP- thoughts? |
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Most of the nearly two billion children in the developing world have inadequate access to dinosaurs. Some receive no paleontology training at all. One in three has never even seen a dinosaur in person.
OVPC is an organization providing a means to an end - an end that sees children in even the most remote regions of the globe being given the motivation and adrenaline to tap into their own potential, identify with the survival needs of a global dinosaur-driven culture, and to contribute to a paleontological world community.
Support the cause at velociraptorz.org |
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wjr1991
Posts:232
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| 10/02/2008 11:34 AM |
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| btw, Josh Harris's books are worth reading just for the perspective- you don't even have to agree with them, just think about them... |
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Most of the nearly two billion children in the developing world have inadequate access to dinosaurs. Some receive no paleontology training at all. One in three has never even seen a dinosaur in person.
OVPC is an organization providing a means to an end - an end that sees children in even the most remote regions of the globe being given the motivation and adrenaline to tap into their own potential, identify with the survival needs of a global dinosaur-driven culture, and to contribute to a paleontological world community.
Support the cause at velociraptorz.org |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 10/02/2008 11:49 AM |
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i completely agree with you william. haha, do i ever not? not much to say here...
:] |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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Phlooshwaa
Posts:22
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| 10/05/2008 8:24 PM |
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JoJo: (I still cant get onto my account...)
Hmmm yes! I have actually been thinking along the same lines here, in my case, I was thinking "If this guy I like decides to tell me he likes me or ask me out, (I dont know him aswell as I should at the moment...) I'd have to tell him that I would LOVE to get to know him better and work on an AWESOME friendship first, It's not that I don't want to date you, I do, but I feel like we need to know each other alot better and base our realtionship on God and what He says, and I feel this involves building a lasting relationship on a strong friendship." This way, if it doesnt work out, we have a strong friendship to fall back on.
Like Will said, I think you should make it real clear that you want to wait forhim,and get to know him asa friend first. Tell him,you do like him,and want to have a relationship with him, but only when you are both ready for it! and mostly, trust God in all situations and ask Him what you should do etc.
Hope that helped!!  |
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artyprincess
Posts:226
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| 11/14/2008 5:07 AM |
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My Mum and I are going through Josh's audio book 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' together.
For me, the difference between courting and dating is the marriage commitment. Dating is a kind of 'try before you buy' thing, whereas courting involves others, and helps to keep the couple pure. I would definitely prefer to 'court' although explaining my ideas on that to people is going to sound REALLY WEIRD! 
I also would like to save my first kiss (and everything after that) for my wedding day. With God on my side, that's possible!
That's just me and my medieval ideas.........
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God Can. |
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