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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 05/21/2008 5:18 AM |
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Im 19, and I've never had a bf before, not because I havent been asked, but because I wasnt ready. At a christian talent quest, I met this guy (from Y-One, a group of christian people who tour around the country for a year telling people about God.) I didnt think anything of him at first, but he kept trying to talk to me, and when there were lots of people backtage, he always talked to me, and no one else...
They came to my hometown to tour, and I hosted them. He again just wanted to talk to me all the time, and i even caught him taking a photo of me secretly. I see him again in 1 1/2 weeks. With guys, normally it takes me like 2 months - a year before I like them, this guy was basically straight off. He's not exactly what you'd call HOTT, but he is decent looking (o.k. he is super cute, but not hot.) He accepts me as I am, and even though I've only known him for 2 weeks, I feel like there is something different about this one...
One problem is... I was born with a cleft palate, and I've had issues with people thinking Im ugly and even though I have lots of friends and tonnes of guy friends, but I can never seem to get past thinking that guys will never lik me as more than a friend. besides my cleft, Im not that bad looking, Im slender (not stick thin...) and I look after myself, Im not weight conscience, but even though God has blessed me in this area, I feel like Im never gonna be good enough for any guy...
What should I do? |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Julie Fidler
Posts:172
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| 05/21/2008 5:59 PM |
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I'm not a teenager but I just had to say something here.
Cleft palate or not, you're beautiful because God created you that way, and it won't be a hang-up to a cool Christian guy. I've been married a long time, so I can tell you that the longer you're with someone, the better they look to you. You love grows, and so does the attraction, when God is at the center.
If God has someone for you, I guarantee ya it won't have anything to do with whether or not you have a cleft palate!
Sounds like this guy is already looking beyond that, so I say enjoy the attention and get to know him better and feel good about the fact that it obviously isn't bothering him. <img src=/DesktopModules/NTForums/themes/_default/emoticons/wink.gif width=20 height=20>
-Jules |
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Forum Moderator
Project Specialist for Shaunti Feldhahn |
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Hope139
Posts:23
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| 05/22/2008 4:31 PM |
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It sounds to me, that this guy is already quite interested in you. Obviously he is not put off by your cleft palate, and he shouldn't be either! He sounds like a great guy from what little you've said about him. If you've prayed about it, and he's prayed about it, and you both feel God's blessing on going ahead with a relationship, then go for it! Otherwise, keep waiting until God shows you further!
God bless!
Courtney |
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May the Lord bless and keep you, may His face shine upon you, and be gracious and give you peace. |
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wjr1991
Posts:232
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| 05/22/2008 5:58 PM |
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Well, I'd certainly recommend you get to know him first- I know that especially today, things move really fast... I feel like my generation (including me) needs to learn to enjoy the journey. So, I think you shouldn't not be interested in him, but don't go straight into a relationship- first get to know him.
Now, about that cleft palate... quite frankly, the one thing that annoys me most in my gal friends, is their reluctance to accept my telling them they're beautiful- I've discovered that very few of my gal friends think they're as beautiful as they are... and some of them know they are, and think it's unfortunate (how they get away with that fallacy, I have no clue). But, like Jodie said (and I am a teenager, and a guy), the important thing is this- if God plans for you to get married, there will be at least one guy who finds you attractive. So, I wouldn't worry too much about a cleft palate... God will work that part out.
The essence is this- he does sound like he's interested, and he can live with the cleft palate... so don't worry about it. |
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Most of the nearly two billion children in the developing world have inadequate access to dinosaurs. Some receive no paleontology training at all. One in three has never even seen a dinosaur in person.
OVPC is an organization providing a means to an end - an end that sees children in even the most remote regions of the globe being given the motivation and adrenaline to tap into their own potential, identify with the survival needs of a global dinosaur-driven culture, and to contribute to a paleontological world community.
Support the cause at velociraptorz.org |
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emma anne
Posts:9
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| 05/23/2008 12:18 PM |
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| let go of you're worries about how you look. Unless this guy is trying to take advantge of you( i don't think so but since i don't actullay know this guy it has a miniscule chance) he obvisouly admires you're heart. Some-one heart can mask thier face so all you can see is the good things in thier heart and they appear to be the most beautiful person on earth because of thier good heart. |
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EmIlY aNnE |
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prettygirl
Posts:46
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| 06/08/2008 5:39 PM |
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| i have the same problem thinking im not good enough 4 this one guy that likes me because of what people have told me. don't believe anything anyone tells you! you really are beautiful and priceless whether you have cleft palate or not. |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 06/10/2008 3:52 AM |
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| Thanks guys! I really do appreciate the help. I saw him that weekend, and because i was the "Young leader" in charge of little 12 yearolds who kept getting lost in the city, I couldnt talk to him much... but when we did talk, he asked me how Id been, complimented on my hair, etc, and we have been texting eachother every 4 days... Im just wondering, do I wait for him to say something? or do I go ahead and say what i feel. Today, we've known each other for exactly a month, and Im not sure if I've given our friendship enough time. do you have any advice? |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Hope139
Posts:23
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| 06/11/2008 3:54 PM |
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| It depends how well you feel you know each other. Generally I'd say a month isn't long enough to get to know someone well enough to start dating them, but you're both adults and you probably have a pretty good idea of how well you know. Maybe you could bring up the subject, because you might be waiting a long while before he is brave enough to say anything, and see where it goes from there. God will give you wisdom! |
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May the Lord bless and keep you, may His face shine upon you, and be gracious and give you peace. |
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wjr1991
Posts:232
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| 06/13/2008 5:59 PM |
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| Frankly, I say a month's not enough time, and you probably shouldn't say anything yet. (because a month's really too short, that's the big thing... unless you're really good friends and can tell he's looking for a way to talk about it- otherwise you're likely to make things awkward... because if he is interested (which it sounds like he is), he's either looking for a way to bring it up, or he's got a reason not to be talking about it) |
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Most of the nearly two billion children in the developing world have inadequate access to dinosaurs. Some receive no paleontology training at all. One in three has never even seen a dinosaur in person.
OVPC is an organization providing a means to an end - an end that sees children in even the most remote regions of the globe being given the motivation and adrenaline to tap into their own potential, identify with the survival needs of a global dinosaur-driven culture, and to contribute to a paleontological world community.
Support the cause at velociraptorz.org |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 06/14/2008 6:55 AM |
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| I totally get what you mean by maybe having a good reason not to talk about it... I txted him today, and he didnt reply... Im not looking too muh into it, but I also think I may have offended him with something I said last time, even though I didnt mean it that way... I honestly HATE having a txt relationship, but he lives like 9-10 hours away, and is on tour so he can be ANYWHERE in New Zealand... and it's not as small as people think.... it took us 15 hours to drive from wellington(bottom of the north island) to Kaitaia (The last town before the cape...) so thats like only half of New Zealand... ANYWAY... I have told myself to give it time and maybe wait a little longer to txt him again, and Ill only think about telling him how I feel in 2 months time... then we'll *hopefully* know each other better... also, one thing... Do guy's get put off if a girl talks too much... Im generally a talky person (as you can probably tell...) but I do restrict myself with how much I talk and I let others talk and I listen... but yeah, Im just wondering... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Hope139
Posts:23
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| 06/14/2008 11:58 AM |
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| Haha, I'd like to know the answer to that one, I talk a lot! |
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May the Lord bless and keep you, may His face shine upon you, and be gracious and give you peace. |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 06/20/2008 7:01 AM |
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I have been praying about him like every day, because I feel like, if this relationshp is going to go anywhere, God has to be the center, It is really hard not seeing him though... the next time I see him is new years, so thats like just under 200 days away! But God is helping me, and Im making sure that if a relationship comes from it, we will both me ready for it and hopefully have discussed it over with God alot 
Just, what do I do to not get so anxious about not seeing him til new years...? |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 06/20/2008 12:35 PM |
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that's great that you've been praying about him, jojo! keeping God in the center is absolutely KEY. i can't stress that enough, honestly. let me share my own little story/example from last summer.
i had met this guy early last spring at a christian rollerskating event. we talked alot the entire evening and i thought he was just mr. amazing, haha. but then we didn't see each other, at all, for a few months. and i honestly completely forgot about him.
then last june came around and my church had vacation bible school [VBS]. i was helping with it that year. out of the blue, this guy pops around with his little sister! i had no idea he even lived in the area. so we talked the entire six days of VBS and i thought things were actually going to go somewhere. but looking back, i have to roll my eyes and want to bang my head against a wall every time i think about that summer. i was so infatuated by him! for about a solid month and a half i thought he was just the coolest, sweetest, most kind person i'd ever met. but he turned out to be, basically, just this lukewarm christian. he honestly didn't care about his relationship with God that much. he was only going to my church because of me and i had failed to see that. don't get me wrong, nothing physical happened. but if you've read for young women only, we women are emotional beings, and i became SO emotionally attached to him. he probably never had any idea how much i liked him.
even now, almost a year later, i still get irked at myself for letting my feelings go so far. and i'm with my first [and, God-willing, last] boyfriend for over two months now. before we were dating, we became very close friends for around 8 months. and i had told him about this other guy and what had happened with him. he understands and has told me there's really nothing to forgive since nothing happened, but i still feel kind of guilty about it sometimes. it's not exactly hindering our relationship, not at all. but when i think about it too much, it can get to me.
the point of my example is this, don't let your emotions override reality. you're telling us this guy lives 9-10 hours away, he's constantly touring the country, and you won't be seeing him until new year's. of course i don't want to sound like miss pessimism, but prayerfully consider everything that is happening. because that's something i DIDN'T do last summer, and i ended up being sourly dropped, when that guy went off to college. yeah, he was going off to be a college freshman! no joke. how lame was i?! haha. i have to smirk at myself now and thank God for not letting me go any deeper than i did.
this verse has helped me so much these past few months, jojo:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6-7
:] <3 |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 06/21/2008 6:38 AM |
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Yeah, I get what you're saying! Like I liked this guy for like 9 years and, looking back, Im so glad it didnt work out! and like yu, I got too emotionally involved and kinda gave my heart away, and I dont think he ever really got how much I liked him either... we were really good friends, then he found out that I liked him, and our friendship hasnt been the same! Like, we're still friends, but its different... and I know I dont want to ever make that mistake again! thats why I've been doing things the right way this time and talking to God about it and NOT getting emotionally attached, cuz, honestly, last time my heart was broken and I didnt get over it for like 2 years!
Thanks, That is such an awesome verse! I really appreciate it!!
Hugs! |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 07/07/2008 6:41 AM |
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OK, Im at another dilema...
I just found out (through some friends cuz the guy himself wouldnt tell me...) that Y-one unfortunately had to disband (because one of the girls broke the rules and was asked to leave, which made the other girl leave, and left only the three guys, and yfc wouldnt allow them to continue with just guys.
so.... I wont be able to see him at newyears, and he hasnt been replying to txts (and I have a suspicion that it's because he doesnt want me to know that he isnt on y-one anymore...) so I cant talk to him, or find out how he's doing. and as Ive mentioned before, he lives hours away... and I dont want to randomly show up at his house (especially if he isnt there...)
I am completely lost at what to do, because now, with him not going to "Summer Harvest" on new years, I probably wont be able to see him, and its really hard on me.
does anyone have some advice?? I really need some! |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 08/05/2008 5:24 AM |
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yeah... at the moment, I havent talked to him in a while, but there is a youth for Christ ball coming up and I was thinking of asking him to go with me as a friend... Im not sure if I should or how I would if I did decide to do it. Of corse I wouldnt ask him like as soon as I get in touch with him (seeing as we havent talked in a month) but I think it would be a great way to get to know each other better...
What do you guys think?? |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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akmelodymaker
Posts:22
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| 08/08/2008 3:32 AM |
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Ya, I think that is a great idea Jojo. Just make sure that you keep praying and see what God has to say about it. I really feel for ya, but I know that in the end God will work things out for the good. If ya do end up asking him you will have to tell us how it went. God Bless!! |
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~God Bless~
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 08/09/2008 8:16 AM |
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Cool, I will tell you guys what happens if I do decie to ask him. I've first gotta get enough courage to talk to him 1st, LOL
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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arielyu
Posts:4
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| 08/28/2008 11:08 AM |
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Posted By wjr1991 on 05/22/2008 5:58 PM Well, I'd certainly recommend you get to know him first- I know that especially today, things move really fast... I feel like my generation (including me) needs to learn to enjoy the journey. So, I think you shouldn't not be interested in him, but don't go straight into a relationship- first get to know him. Now, about that cleft palate... quite frankly, the one thing that annoys me most in my gal friends, is their reluctance to accept my telling them they're beautiful- I've discovered that very few of my gal friends think they're as beautiful as they are... and some of them know they are, and think it's unfortunate (how they get away with that fallacy, I have no clue). But, like Jodie said (and I am a teenager, and a guy), the important thing is this- if God plans for you to get married, there will be at least one guy who finds you attractive. So, I wouldn't worry too much about a cleft palate... God will work that part out. The essence is this- he does sound like he's interested, and he can live with the cleft palate... so don't worry about it. Hey wjr1991, i've got a question for ya. I read in FYWO that even though guys like a variety of girls, they do prefer girls who look healthy (i.e. not fat). i've been in this band for sometime and i kinda like the drummer. that is besides the point. point is: since last October, i've lost quite a bit of weight, around 16 pounds. i kinda realized that i wanted to lose the weight becos of the drummer but partly also becos I realized that i need to start being healthy for God (i backslid and only came back to God in 2006). I am aware that i should be wanting to get fit becos of God, and that I should seek approval from God and God only. i know that the book also says that guys do like girls who make an effort to take care of themselves (girls who know that they are unhealthy and are making an effort to get fit). Boy, i guess my question is whether or not the drummer will like me / likes me? it's been almost a year since the band got together and the two of us have become good friends (but cos of busyness in our church commitments and life), the band meets up at the most once a month. He's a fervent Christian who really lives his life for God and a really cute guy as well. please help!
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wjr1991
Posts:232
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| 08/28/2008 5:08 PM |
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Arielyu, that's a question I could only answer if I were the drummer... and since I'm a guitarist, I suspect I'm not him. I honestly would have to know more about how he's acting, and such. I think someone said earlier elsewhere (it might have been me, but it's been a while, so I've forgotten) the only way you can know for sure a guy "likes" you is that he asks you out more than once.
So, sorry I couldn't be more definitive... if you want to say more about it, I might be able to give you my read on it... but that's about it. |
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Most of the nearly two billion children in the developing world have inadequate access to dinosaurs. Some receive no paleontology training at all. One in three has never even seen a dinosaur in person.
OVPC is an organization providing a means to an end - an end that sees children in even the most remote regions of the globe being given the motivation and adrenaline to tap into their own potential, identify with the survival needs of a global dinosaur-driven culture, and to contribute to a paleontological world community.
Support the cause at velociraptorz.org |
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