| Author |
Messages |
|
David
Posts:499
 |
| 05/12/2009 6:32 PM |
|
| According to FYMO, and adherent to many of my own experiences and those of other guys, physical appearance does not seem to play a huge role in which guys girls like. In fact, most girls I've talked to who pride themselves on not being shallow claim that physical appearance plays no part at all. I'm not sure I buy this. I wonder, then, exactly how much physical appearance plays into the mind of a girl. Therefore, I'll ask all of you two questions.
Let's say you met a guy who had the best personality you had ever come across. He was confident, funny, exciting, caring, mature, etc. However, due to uncontrollable medical conditions, he weights four hundred pounds, and is acne ridden with greasy, lanky hair. Also, his breath smells and he has slight body odor - neither of which he can control. Would you date him?
I was glancing through another post on here about swimsuit modesty and many of the girls were saying that shirtless guys, when they are toned, can be awfully distracting. I wonder, then, would those girls ever date a guy who was in alright shape but wasn't toned? A guy you wouldn't call fat, but one who would still be embarrassed to go shirtless? |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
Koudee
Posts:91
|
| 05/12/2009 7:13 PM |
|
Lol, David. I'm not a girl, but something odd did happen to me I might go ahead and share.
So, I was at my friends mothers day party (I went to help her cook and clean up afterward, she was hosting)
Anyway, at one point another girl was "play flirting" with me, totally kidding to get my attention ( I think), but the subject drifted onto "what was my best quality".
I have been in a MMA UFC style gym for a while now, lost almost 70 lbs, I'm still big, but I look pretty nice IMO. So I was expecting my sculpted arms, or face....it was my hair! All that gut breaking in work and my best feature was my hair!!! Man, I couldn't believe it!
|
|
|
|
|
JoJo
Posts:1670
|
| 05/12/2009 8:20 PM |
|
o.k. im a girl... so i can help.
stuff that attracts girls to guys can be different in each situation.
and yes... hair, eyes, smile, are the main things girls go for... body shape isn't much of an issue...
Personality is the biggest factor, cuz even if I think a guy is DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, and he has no brians and ONLY talks about cars or hunting and never asks me questions, never seems slightly interested in me, and is actually very bland in his personality... I'll lose interest almost immediately!
To answer David's 1st question... I probably wouldn't date that guy... just being completely honest. I might be his friend (but in my experience with guys in the past... body odor and bad breath etc is a MAJOR TURN OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like i don't want to even go near the guy. and because I'm an active girl, I like sports etc and I'm strong for a girl... I tend to be interested in guys who are 1stly stronger than me (and often if guy's are out of shape... they're not stronger than me... for example, I had to do lifts in our dance routines cuz some of the guy's couldn't life the girls...) so i wouldn't want to date an overweight guy. but that reason alone wouldn't stop me from being his friend.
and honestly, acne is actually not that much of an issue (i think alot of us girls illuded to that in a previous post... can't remember which one...)
as to your second question... Yes, at the moment, the guy Im interested in IS tonned, but... basically all the guy's I liked b4 him, weren't. they weren't FAT but slim, and didn't have abs etc...
so yes, I would totally date a guy who wasn't exactly "tonned". As I've said b4, looks aren't a major factor, but they do count... slightly...
And most girls actually, don't care if they like a guy who their friends think is uggis... (normally they're glad their friends don't like him and won't get jealous...) so friends oppinions don't count 100%. They matter slightly (like if they think he's a scum bag or a womanizer etc...) but not entirely...
and to Koudee, I think it's awesome that you cared enough about your physical appearance to get into shape. has that girl ever seen u b4 you started going to the gym? if not, then she probably didn't think about that factor, and obviously didn't think it mattered (like she might have mentioned it if she had seen u b4??) but yeah. don't think your fitness is not a factor, becuase it is... and maybe she wouldn't have flirted with you had you not gone to the gym... (not saying this is actually what happened, cuz I donno... but it could be a factor... it depends on what kind of girl she is etc...) so keep up with the fitness stuff!  most girls would appreciate it!!! because you've gone to the effort to step up your appearance (and just to remind you all... appearance isn't a big factor in the long run, but it might be... innitially...) |
|
Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:189
|
| 05/12/2009 10:09 PM |
|
| I have to say I think it depends... in FYWO, the authors talk about how girls who are overweight and don't really think about their appearance don't seem confident in themselves. I think it seems the same way about guys. I want a guy who can keep up with me, and I'm active. We should be able to push each other. Toned, (especially) shirtless guys are eye magnets- but that doesn't mean I would date a guy just because he looks nice on my arm. After a while of being friends with people, you kind of forget their appearance. Confidence is key. |
|
"... I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy..." Acts 2.17
What If His People Prayed? |
|
|
Koudee
Posts:91
|
| 05/12/2009 10:15 PM |
|
Thanks Jojo, no this girl didn't know, But the girl I do have a thing for (cricket) liked me before I lost all the weight  |
|
|
|
|
artyprincess
Posts:226
|
| 05/13/2009 4:57 AM |
|
To answer your first question, David, no, I wouldn't date the guy. 1. Because I don't want to have any 'exes' and I'm not ready for marriage. 2. Yes, medical conditions cannot be controlled, but you can make an effort. Greasy hair/bad haircut can surely be fixed. And he could still work on his fitness, even if he was overweight. By all means, I would be happy to be his friend. But nothing more!
I personally don't make a big deal of being toned. (at the moment, anyway)
I think, for guys, making an effort, and not just sitting back and saying 'Oh, well, I don't have to do anything. Girls should just accept me.' will impress me more. Stay fit, but you don't need to become a bodybuilder! Hope that helped! |
|
God Can. |
|
|
emilyjanelle
Posts:510
|
| 05/13/2009 11:40 AM |
|
I think, for guys, making an effort, and not just sitting back and saying 'Oh, well, I don't have to do anything. Girls should just accept me.' will impress me more.
couldn't have said it better myself. :] |
|
You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 05/13/2009 11:53 AM |
|
I personally don't make a big deal of being toned. (at the moment, anyway)
So you will make a big deal about it eventually? I'm confused as to what you mean by "at the moment, anyways."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the impression I'm getting here is that physical appearance is a somewhat big deal to girls. This seems somewhat contrary to what is in FYMO (not that I think that FYMO is always going to be 100% correct, but those books are sort of the common factor between all of us). Maybe I'm wrong. |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
emilyjanelle
Posts:510
|
| 05/13/2009 12:21 PM |
|
no, you're not wrong. but you're not totally right either, haha. you see, it just all depends on the girl.
an older friend of mine is dating an overweight (I would never tell her that :p) guy, but he's AWESOME. great personality, loves the Lord, loves her. it's pretty obvious they're in it for keeps. could he stand to lose, eh, 50-75 pounds? probably. does she still love him nonetheless? you bet!
on the other end of that, another friend of mine is courting (can of worms, I know, sorry to bring that up, but that's what they're doing) another awesome guy from our church. and he's very, very good looking, haha. basically like, I would say drop dead gorgeous. perfect teeth, perfect hair, perfect arms (I've told her, "I bet those guns are illegal in all 50 states!").
so, two very different guys, and still liked by girls. WHO'DA THUNK?! =] |
|
You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
|
|
Cayla Renae
Posts:58
|
| 05/13/2009 12:34 PM |
|
I'll just share from personal experience...
When I went on a mission's trip, a guy on my team caught my eye. I don't mean that he physically caught my eye (his looks are pretty average), but spiritually. And the more I fell in like with his heart and his personality, the more attractive he was to me. 
I talked to another guy about liking him, and he was like, "How can you like him? He's ugly as heck in my opinion" (or something of the like) and I remarked how gorgeous his eyes were. He had to agree that they were nice... lol
So when a girl notices a guy (like WOW this guy is sweet) it's almost always for his character and his faith. Looks are just bonus. But in saying that, any guy that is going to catch my eye has to take care of himself in order to look presentable (shower, wear clean clothes, etc.)
Oh by the way... if a girl likes a guy, she'll find little quirks that are endearing (even his horrible spelling or grammar... ha ha ), rather than just looking at him physically. |
|
~created by the King to do good things~ |
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 05/13/2009 2:01 PM |
|
"on the other end of that, another friend of mine is courting (can of worms, I know, sorry to bring that up, but that's what they're doing) another awesome guy from our church. and he's very, very good looking, haha. basically like, I would say drop dead gorgeous. perfect teeth, perfect hair, perfect arms (I've told her, "I bet those guns are illegal in all 50 states!")."
Every guy hopes that their girl will talk about them like this.
What both of you have said is good to hear. I suppose that I, like a lot of guys, worry that I'll never be good looking enough to attract a girl. |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
Adelynn
Posts:189
|
| 05/13/2009 3:41 PM |
|
| Like it said in FYMO (from what I remember), I'm a little skeptical of super attractive guys, because I've never met one that wasn't full of himself. That isn't something I like to be around, so I usually try to avoid them, especially when there is a flock of girls swarming them... talk about stereotyping =/ |
|
"... I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy..." Acts 2.17
What If His People Prayed? |
|
|
emilyjanelle
Posts:510
|
| 05/13/2009 5:45 PM |
|
| haha, I totallyyy understand, adelynn. my girl friend has vented to me and said things like, "sometimes he gets full of himself...and like, puffed up...thinks he's so good looking...and it's funny but..." I know what you mean and so does she! she very soft spoken and would never, ever be like, "zomg, SHUT UP" but might feel like it, haha. again, he is such an awesome guy, I'm sure she hasn't ever felt that annoyed, yet. but maybe someday! :p |
|
You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
|
|
Koudee
Posts:91
|
| 05/13/2009 6:31 PM |
|
Thats my newest downfall from gym. I can get a little cockey, but I mean it in a playfull way, like my super obvious macho act!
|
|
|
|
|
Nicole
Posts:552
|
| 05/13/2009 10:56 PM |
|
I agree with the girls who have posted on this subject. To answer David, no, i would not date him. While everything in a wonderful personality (funny, respectful, considerate, compassionate, humble, kind, etc) is important and plays a big role in attraction, so does physical attraction. My feelings for the guy probably wouldn't even go passed friendship. The guys doesn't have to be a huge popular football captain or even a macho body builder (heck no) but it's important to at least know that he makes an effort to take care of himself. Everything Cayla Renae said about guys, Je suis d'accord! (I am in agreement)
Koudee, i'm proud of you for taking the initiative to go to the gym. That's wonderful! |
|
whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
|
|
anne90
Posts:2
|
| 05/14/2009 9:46 AM |
|
I suppose that I, like a lot of guys, worry that I'll never be good looking enough to attract a girl. Oh...but that can't be true because girls go for lots of different "kinds" of guys. Seriously...I'm "attracted" to various guys. Also let me tell you that if a girl "likes" a guy that isn't what most people would call really good-looking, she will find "little things" that she really likes about him, like his adorable grin, or his neat eyes! If she likes him she will find something!
|
|
|
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 05/14/2009 7:43 PM |
|
Posted By anne90 on 05/14/2009 9:46 AM I suppose that I, like a lot of guys, worry that I'll never be good looking enough to attract a girl. Oh...but that can't be true because girls go for lots of different "kinds" of guys. Seriously...I'm "attracted" to various guys. Also let me tell you that if a girl "likes" a guy that isn't what most people would call really good-looking, she will find "little things" that she really likes about him, like his adorable grin, or his neat eyes! If she likes him she will find something!
What you say is heartening, to be sure. However, how am I to get a girl to like me if she finds me physically unattractive? It seems she must like me first, before she can decide to turn little quirks into cute things.
Of course, you'll probably say get to know her and show her what kind of guy I am (assuming I'm a decent guy [hopefully the kind of guy she'll like]). I suppose this brings to light my current predicament: where exactly do I go to meet girls? Hm...
|
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
maddiegirl
Posts:210
|
| 05/14/2009 8:23 PM |
|
IMO and in my choices of guys (lol), to answer david's 1st question, i probably wouldn't date that guy. call me shallow or superficial or whatever, but 4 me, the guy's got to be attractive to me. there r some guys that other girls think r cute, and i dont think so, so the guy would have 2 b attractive 2 me.
and even though looks plays a pretty small part, the major part is personality and actions 4 me. i wouldnt date a guy if he was really hot bgut had an aweful personality or was a bad boy or just 4 popularity or w.e. and girls dont just go 4 1 type of guy, they go 4 a bunch of types. (= |
|
|
|
|
David
Posts:499
|
| 05/14/2009 8:38 PM |
|
Here's a question, and perhaps this is also at the heart of why I posted this.
Let's say you have the choice between two guys. Guy A is extremely good looking and has a great personality. Guy B is sort of plain looking but has an equally great personality. Both are pursuing you. Who do you choose? |
|
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
|
|
i_trust
Posts:25
|
| 05/14/2009 9:54 PM |
|
I'm just gonna jump in on this, if that's ok.....
That's hard! In my opinion.....I guess I would just say that I would choose the one I was attracted to. Whether that be the "extremely good" looking guy or the "plainer" one. Just because a lot of girls think a certain guy is "hot" doesn't mean every girl who knows him does. Like maddiegirl said, different girls like different guys... does that help? |
|
I know you, I love you.
I gave my life to save you.
Love paid the price for mercy.
My verdict. Not guilty. |
|
|
|