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The forum you are about to enter is coed, but until the For Young Men Only book was released, September 16, 2008, it’s been dominated by the alien gender. Discussions have centered on a variety of topics including the companion book for teen girls, For Young Women Only. We hope this forum will provide answers to questions, advice, and explanations, in a way that will help you understand the opposite sex better. Young Men…enter at your own risk!

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Forums > Teen Online Forums > Advice From Fellow Readers
Subject: Right thing... at the Wrong time... HELP!
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BekaUser is Offline

Posts:15
01/29/2010 2:30 AM  
Okay,Soooo my question is very long and I would appreicate some serious advice! How do you go from being more than friends(not dating technically but being closer than friends) with a guy to "just friends." Ugh, I hate how lame that sounds, but I don't know how else to put it.God recently showed me that my relationship with a guy "friend" of mine wasn't right.I have known this guy for the last nine months and he is a beyond great Christian guy!Well, at least what I know of him over texting and emailing and some hanging out in groups. Due to long distance circumstances most of our relationship has been over technology. I am now realizing how dumb this was of me. But, it started out as us just wanting to be friends and grew to then knowing there is a big chance we could date someday. I have found that relationships like this just trying to be friends yet knowing there could be something more doesn't work. You can only move forward in relationships and by the time I realized this, I knew that we were no longer just friends. I have spent much time praying about it and I know now that God wants me to stop this relationship. It's like God is saying to me "The right thing at the WRONG time, is the WRONG thing." I don't feel ready to date at this time in my life and I know that my relationship with this boy needs to slow down and or stop. My question is how the HECK do I tell this to him? How is the least hurtful way possible I can tell him this? I don't want to hurt him...
BeckahUser is Offline

Posts:896
01/29/2010 10:01 AM  
wow i have the same kind of problem for the most part...so come on ppl please reply. lol
"Check yourself before you wreck yourself"
AdelynnUser is Offline

Posts:516
01/29/2010 6:28 PM  
wow, that is tough. It's amazing that you recognize all of this! It took me a very long time and a very broken heart to learn that.

And it's scary, but he deserves honesty from you about what you need to do.
"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic
JesusRocks!User is Offline

Posts:11
01/29/2010 11:21 PM  
Hey Beka,
This is a tough situation, but from what I have heard if he is the Gr8 Christian guy that you say that he is then he will be understanding. This is not promising that he won't be upset, but it is best to let him know what God is telling you. If you hear God's call for you to be just friends than I would obey Him and trust that whatever happens God will work it out for the best! If it were me I would not tell him over text, email, or internet; in person would be best but since it is long distance a phone call would be just as good. Start off by explaining that God has laid something on your heart and since he means a lot to you, you feel the need to share it with him. Then "rip the bandaid off" and tell him how you feel (try to stay calm and be kind in your words). Explain that this is not ending what you have, but relying on God by listening to what He is telling you and if this boy respects God and you he will understand and i am sure ya'll will still be friends. (Btw sometimes it can be awkward 4 a while, but u will get over that if u 2 r awkward at 1st)! I hope that was enough to help!
God Bless
clareUser is Offline

Posts:932
01/30/2010 5:41 PM  
Right and right again. I can't believe you saw yourself what you needed to do. I'm in the boat with Adelynn, it took a broken heart. And you'd think doing it once was enough, nope lets do it twice. Ahhh! Don't do that to yourself Beka. I think what JesusRocks said is exactly what I would have
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