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swimmer
Posts:11
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| 05/14/2009 6:09 PM |
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So let me get this straight...
Over emotional = Crying over a B on a test
"Legit" emotional= Friend in deep trouble, dog dying, etc.
Btw, thanx for all the opinions. : ) |
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David
Posts:499
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| 05/14/2009 7:34 PM |
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Maddie, I like what you said.
Swimmer, we should totally get the girls to make us a list of everything that is considered over-emotional, just to be on the safe side. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Nicole
Posts:547
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| 05/15/2009 2:22 AM |
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Swimmer- you got it. 
David- *raising of eyebrows* you want a list? |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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David
Posts:499
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| 05/15/2009 12:31 PM |
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Well, you never know when what I think is perfectly emotional is what you really think is over-emotional. Wouldn't it be a disaster if I started crying over something that really meant something to me but a girl interprets as over-emotional? Thus, a list.
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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artyprincess
Posts:224
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| 05/15/2009 7:54 PM |
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I cried when my fish died! I'd had him for over a year.... And I cried when my dog died....
Personally, I think having a guy out-and-out bawling in front of me would be kinda... weird. Unless something really, really sad had happened to him, of course, but other than that I would think him a bit of a sissy. I mean, there's crying and then there's bawling. If a guy cried like a guy, and not like a girl, I would respect that.
But I don't have any experience to back it up: I've never seen my dad cry, and I've never seen a boy my age cry.
I haven't yet cried in front of anyone besides family.
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God Can. |
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David
Posts:499
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| 05/15/2009 9:28 PM |
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So we can show some emotion, but not too much emotion?
I suppose my problem here is stemming from the fact that many married women wonder why their husbands seem to lack emotions and mourn the fact that their husbands can't emotionally connect with them. They get mad at men for being unemotional. I always want to scream at them that the reason men are like that is, well, because of the types of things a lot of you girls are saying. We grow up with this message from girls to not be emotional, or we can only be emotional up to a point (but the point depends on the girl, and since we can't read your mind, it's easier to just to try and not be emotional at all). In my opinion, and correct me if I'm wrong, girls want guys to feel emotions, but only emotions that benefit them, the girl. Girls get mad at guys for getting upset with the girl (when she should be trying to figure out what she did). Girls get mad at guys for getting jealous (when she should be trying to figure out what she did). The message I'm getting is that girls think it's weird for a guy to express the genuine, gut level, gut wrenching emotions that God created us to have the depth to feel. "Bawling" would be a logical conclusion of those sorts of emotions. Please, allow us to feel.
Or, in other words, why is it ok for a girl to cry over a dead fish, but not a guy? |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Nicole
Posts:547
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| 05/16/2009 3:21 AM |
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In my opinion, and correct me if I'm wrong, girls want guys to feel emotions, but only emotions that benefit them, the girl. Girls get mad at guys for getting upset with the girl (when she should be trying to figure out what she did). Girls get mad at guys for getting jealous (when she should be trying to figure out what she did).
Alright David, while I find many things wrong with the above quote, I can't blame you for thinking that way. While I don't necessarily do any of those things, I am aware that my other female comrades in this fallen world do do those things. And believe me, it bugs the mess outta me (those poor guys). Anyways, and girls, correct me or add anything to this. First things first: not all girls are the same. Some of us prefer males who are emotionally strong and rarely show their emotions, i.e, crying in public. They're kind of our strong support, someone to lean on, someone with a clear mind. BTW, bear in mind that I am NOT saying that emotional guys are not clear minded, not at all. Okay, then their are those of us girls that are attracted to the male that show his tears over something like his pet dying. It melts our hearts (and kind of makes us go awww!) While we still look to these guys as strong supports, for some of us it's easier to connect with them (he cries during a sad part of a movie, i'm crying, it's all good). Of course these cases are only examples. I suppose the reason why people get the idea that it's okay for a girl to cry over a dead fish, but it is totally weird for a guy to cry over the same thing, is because of the stereotypical behavior that media pastes on guys. Unfortunately, we listen to the media, letting it influence us, me included (though i'm learning to place my value in Christ, etc). Guys, you should be yourselves- to use the old cliché. If a girl thinks you're weird just because you cried over your dead snake- forget about her. God gave us emotions for a reason, though there's a time and place for everything. I hope that helped a little. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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David
Posts:499
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| 05/16/2009 3:30 AM |
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Allow me to clarify my position. Truth is, I really don't want to be right. This is one of those things I'd much rather be wrong on.
I appreciate your thoughts, and hope you're right. I hope to one day find a girl who wants me to express how I feel, even if how if how I feel is sad enough to cry. I hope to find a girl that I can trust enough to show her that depth of my soul. However, hearing many girls, including some on here, say they don't want a guy who is too emotional sort of makes us think we have to hide that part of us (to the point where it goes away). Now don't misunderstand, I would be willing to bet that most of the girls on here, even the ones who say they don't want a "too emotional" guy, would be much better than "most other girls." But still, we should be able to fully express ourselves. That's all. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Nicole
Posts:547
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| 05/16/2009 3:36 AM |
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I agree. Je suis d'accord. And I hope you do find that one girl out there for you. I really do think it's important for couples to be able to trust and share with each other with their souls and their emotions- crying, jealousy, frustration and all.  |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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swimmer
Posts:11
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| 05/17/2009 10:50 PM |
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| I'm glad I asked this question. Good input from everyone. : ) |
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Jana
Posts:2
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| 05/24/2009 10:11 PM |
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| I think that if a guy is able to express himself...it's really great. It gives the idea that the guy is being honest with you. however, if you do this all the time, it gets old, like, for example, if i saw one of my friends who is a guy upset, even if he is trying to hide it, my heart would go out to him. some girls, NOT all, but some, are trustworthy, and will keep your secrets. |
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David
Posts:499
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| 05/25/2009 1:15 AM |
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"however, if you do this all the time, it gets old"
Can guys then treat girls with the same mindset? |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Nicole
Posts:547
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| 05/25/2009 3:07 AM |
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YES!! Well, at least i think it's the fair thing to do.  For instance i think it would be extremely and horrifyingly inconsiderate (and mean) of me to not allow my (nonexistent) boyfriend, or guy friend for that matter, the right or freedom to be able to express his emotions; plus i don't believe it would be a healthy relationship. All in all, i think girls should have respect for the guy and the relationship should be healthily balanced. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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David
Posts:499
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| 05/25/2009 11:48 AM |
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Posted By Nicole on 05/25/2009 3:07 AM YES!! " border=0> Well, at least i think it's the fair thing to do. " border=0> For instance i think it would be extremely and horrifyingly inconsiderate (and mean) of me to not allow my (nonexistent) boyfriend, or guy friend for that matter, the right or freedom to be able to express his emotions; plus i don't believe it would be a healthy relationship. All in all, i think girls should have respect for the guy and the relationship should be healthily balanced.
This.
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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James
Posts:35
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| 05/28/2009 8:26 PM |
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I should read these more often, by the time I get to the end I've forgotten my point or it has already been said .
I'm curious, would you girls be think it's fine if a guy friend of yours came up to you and gave you a hug if you were crying/seriously upset? I'm not talking about a really close friend so would it be better just to ask if they are ok and listen?
When I cry it's usually because I'm under a lot of pressure/stress or because I think I've upset someone so it's kind of hard to explain what's going on. Still, it's always really nice to have someone take the time to find out if they can help.
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Nicole
Posts:547
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| 05/28/2009 9:28 PM |
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| Well, if it were one of my closest guy friends i would most definitely welcome a hug if i were crying or seriously upset. It shows that he cares, it would melt my heart and it would make me love him all the more. If it were a regular guy friend, not as close, then i'd have to at least have known him enough for me to not feel awkward hugging him; otherwise, and even if i didn't know him that well, it would be very sweet and appreciated if he stopped to ask if i were okay and just listen. Doing that, and even combining that with a hug would go a long way and really raise my admiration and respect for him. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 05/28/2009 10:53 PM |
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| Um well, i'd appreciate a hug from any of my friends, even if I'd only known them for a little while... as long as it wasn't a creepy hug, or if he didn't let go... (I had that happen once...I never hugged him ever again... ) |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
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God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Cayla Renae
Posts:58
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| 06/02/2009 7:37 PM |
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| Koudee... your answer was just plain awesome. If you just comfort a girl when she cries (and maybe dry her tears and make her smile... melt)... you WILL be her hero!!! And she'll probably tell a lot of girls about how cool you were with the whole tears thing, and eventually the whole WORLD will hear how grand you are, and then you will forever be known as: Dum duh duh DAH! "SUPER KOUDEE... the man who dries all tears." Sorry... imagination + exaggeration = story time! |
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~created by the King to do good things~ |
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Cayla Renae
Posts:58
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| 06/02/2009 7:39 PM |
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| Koudee, your answer was just plain awesome! Comforting a girl (putting your arm around her, just sitting with her, giving her a tissue) when she cries is an A-1 superpower!! |
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~created by the King to do good things~ |
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Cayla Renae
Posts:58
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| 06/02/2009 7:40 PM |
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| lol... I didn't see the second page and thought it had deleted my first response!!! Ignore that second one please |
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~created by the King to do good things~ |
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