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artyprincess
Posts:224
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| 06/04/2009 5:56 AM |
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Ok - as to the question about a guy friend (not a close one) hugging me if I was upset......
Well, not even my closest guy friends hug me EVER, so yeah. It would be pretty weird! If I was in that situation, it would be my mum, sister or girl friends hugging me, I think!  |
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God Can. |
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Bekah
Posts:16
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| 06/18/2009 1:28 PM |
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I shall express my opinion on a few things here.
Numero un, I would consider a "too emotional" guy to be one who cries over everything, all the time. Like, I don't want a guy who cries when someone tells him he has ketchup on his face, or if he gets detention for lashing out at a teacher, or if he loses a trivia game in history class. But in general, I think it's really sweet when a guy cries. Really, think the whole crying thing is similar between guys and girls. Guys, you don't want us sobbing constantly and over every little thing, do you? Likewise, we don't want YOU sobbing constantly over every little thing. So don't think, "Can I cry over this?" "Will she think I'm a wimp if I cry over THIS?" If you wanna cry, cry. We cry almost as much as we talk, so if we're at all human, we'll understand! haha.
And on the hugging thing...if you know the girl well and you know that she doesn't mind being hugged in general, it's probably fine. But take in her cues. If she pulls away, obviously, let her go. (Duh.) If she flings herself onto your shoulder and breaks into hysterics, feel free to hold her for a while. But I would ask her what's wrong first, and if she says something like, "I'm fine," and acts like she doesn't want to talk about it, then obviously don't hug her. It's hard to explain, I guess. I'm doing a lousy job. 
So yeah...hope I helped? hmm. haha.
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David
Posts:499
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| 06/18/2009 6:10 PM |
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I like what you said, Bekah.
"But I would ask her what's wrong first, and if she says something like, "I'm fine," and acts like she doesn't want to talk about it, then obviously don't hug her."
Unless her "I'm fine" really means, "I'm not fine, please hug me." You girls and your not saying what you're really feeling. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 06/19/2009 5:12 AM |
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LOL yeah, you've gotta try to figure out which "fine" it is...
sometimes I'm like "IM FINE!!" all angrilly, which means, don't come near me...
or I say "Im fine!" all upset, which kinda means "I need a hug..."
LOL. |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 06/19/2009 6:54 PM |
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| The only times I've ever had to cry on someone was when my friend was killed. I am NOT a physical touch kind of person. If fact I never show any emotion (unless I'm angry) My friend has a real problem with that he wants me to cry so he can comfort me, be my hero. I want him too but I am not used to people like that. If I feel I need to cry, I go out in the woods and fight it myself. I am not used to hugging at all. I am one of those "I'm FINE" cases Personally, when I see a man cry, I admire him. If he's crying over a hard struggle, deep regret, physical pain,or when sympathizing with someone else's pain, that's all ok. But when he cries because his dirt bike broke down...I tell them to chill out!! If they can't take it like a man than please take it like a woman (cuz this woman don't cry!) |
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Adelynn
Posts:189
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| 06/19/2009 9:14 PM |
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| I think body language has a huge part in that; if a girl does actually want to be hugged, she probably won't turn away or will only turn away a little and will still be standing fairly straight. A girl who doesn't want to be hugged will try to close herself off (hunching the shoulders, covering her face with both hands, turning away), but if someone seems to completely collapse in on themselves, well they might need someone to hold them up. |
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"... I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy..." Acts 2.17
What If His People Prayed? |
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Adelynn
Posts:189
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| 06/19/2009 9:15 PM |
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| and by turning away I mean with her whole body, not her face |
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"... I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy..." Acts 2.17
What If His People Prayed? |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 06/20/2009 11:27 PM |
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| my friend is really good at reading body language ane he said every time I look like I'm turning off. I guess I am. Way deep I want that hug but I am such a non physical person I can't get past that barrier to let him know I need to be hugged! |
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David
Posts:499
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| 06/22/2009 4:58 PM |
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| Clare, does your family hug a lot or are they more physically reserved? |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Mariae
Posts:0
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| 06/23/2009 1:14 PM |
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I think it's neat when a guy cries.
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Cayla Renae
Posts:58
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| 06/24/2009 12:44 PM |
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I have a question that sort of stems from the current discussion...
I'm a very affectionate person, and I love hugging. But I've heard that when guys hug girls (a front hug) it affects them physically. I don't want to assume that this is true for all guys (guys aren't all the same), but I'm wondering if it's not good for me to hug my guy friends? I don't want to "turn them on" or do anything to affect them negatively.
Thanks |
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~created by the King to do good things~ |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 06/24/2009 1:36 PM |
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I'm sorry about your friend, Clare, that must have been really, really hard.
I'm the same way about physical touch. My mom is really huggy (that is her love language), but I'm just not. I like being around people, but I also love my privacy, and somehow it seems like getting too close to someone physically (hugging, kisses) seems uncomfortable.
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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David
Posts:499
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| 06/24/2009 5:09 PM |
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| @Cayla Renae: Yes and no. It sort of depends. If his sex drive is really going, then yes, it will turn him on. However, this is not always going to be the case. Will most guys realize that your chest is pressed up against them? Yes. Will they enjoy it? Possibly. Will it actually turn them on? Not necessarily. I'd say to be safe stick with side hugs, but this is one of those sort of unavoidable things, like showing off your body. You can wear the baggiest clothes imaginable and he's still going to notice you have a woman's figure. I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing, though I realize I'm in the minority here. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 06/24/2009 5:55 PM |
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I don't think hugging a guy friend is bad... it just depends how you hug him. and I usually don't hug him for more than a few seconds...
so yeah, obviously don't hug him in a way that suggests that you're trying to turn him on (nuzzling etc lol  )
idk, I just hug everyone lol. O.k. except scody guys |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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David
Posts:499
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| 06/24/2009 6:08 PM |
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Jojo has a good point. It can depend on how you hug him. I would say reserve full body hugs for a boyfriend (the kind where you are really pressed up against him, top to bottom, the kind that are better and easier for him to hold you if need be). For friends, bend over a little more to put a bit more distance between your body and his. But overall, as Jojo says, I wouldn't consider hugs to be an overly sexual, inappropriate thing. Like many of you, I'm a huggy person.
Bear in mind, though, that there will always be exceptions. There will be guys who will really enjoy hugging you for the very reasons you're worried about. Use your judgment. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 06/24/2009 9:53 PM |
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| I agree with David and Jojo. I've refrained from hugging my ex of almost a year because I want our friendship to remain pure. I don't want things to get "mushy" with physicality, no matter how innocent it may seem. will we never, ever hug again? doubt it. but for now, we're not. it's that simple. don't read too much into what your guy friend(s) could be thinking of when they hug you. if you think it's clouding their thoughts of you, don't. if you don't have a problem with it and know they don't, do. |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 06/25/2009 6:09 PM |
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no David, my family never hugs, we never cry around each other either. I saw dad cry once when all 5 kids of our family friends were killed. We are not emotional people!
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 06/25/2009 6:33 PM |
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I'm really sorry about your friend and that family, Clare, that must have been really, really hard.
I'm also not a huggy person, but my mom is. That is her love language, and she likes to hug us every time we walk by. I had to really try to accept it, just because I'm such a boundaries person. It took me almost 18 years =] plus, of course, I didn't really care to try to change my attitude about it until I was a little older. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Lizzie
Posts:0
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| 07/02/2009 11:27 AM |
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| I aggree with pretty much everything that David has said so far (I like the way you phrase things). From a girl's perspective, I think it depends on the situation. But, over all, I believe that when guys cry (for any reason) it's an overall good thing for society. I am tired of people thinking that guys can't cry because it's not manly. Personally, I think it's more manly for a guy to cry than to hold it in. One more thing to think about: the greatest Man of all cried. Jesus Christ cried..so guys, don't feel ashamed. |
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Bekah
Posts:16
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| 07/02/2009 12:47 PM |
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You make a good point, David. I am guilty of saying something to a guy that I didn't really mean. Especially when it was important. ("So...where are you at with guys? Has anybody caught your eye?" "No, nope. Nobody. I don't like anybody. And I don't plan on dating for a while yet." When I really really really really liked him!! Smart move, Bekah!) Anyway...another thing you guys could try when you're not sure about hugging a girl is just pat her back or rub her shoulder or something first. Chances are if she is open for a hug, she'll go ahead and move in for one. If she tenses up under your hand, stop. Or she might run away. That's a sign that you should probably NOT hug her...haha. I hope I helped.
But really, guys, you should just give up. Girls are impossible to understand. Even for us, ourselves.
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