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clare
Posts:932
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| 07/23/2009 8:04 PM |
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I never thought about wanting to keep my last name. I just hope the one I marry has a better one than I have now, tho I do like being a Prettyman!! When I hear of women keeping their maiden name, it's just weird. It's like they're trying to assert their independence or show they don't want to become one with their husband. I had typed a really long answer to something David wrote above but my computer crashed before I got it posted |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/23/2009 8:49 PM |
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| I hate when that happens. I once wrote an entire report and lost it to something similar to that, not to mention various e-mails and replies I've lost. It's so aggravating. Think you could give me a summary of what you wrote and lost? |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 07/23/2009 9:19 PM |
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I'll try that was like a week ago. Wish I could take my computer to work.
I'm not saying women are better than men.Our culture is degrading men and I think that's sick. Maye because that is happening it makes men as I am calling crude. That they think if they aren't expected to be a decent man why try. I have what I want to say in my head and I'll try to get it out, if it doesn't make sense just forget whay I'm saying!
Men have an inner drive in them that is stronger than any we women have. They are competitive and always want to excell and be that top man. ok not all guys by all means but in general. With anyone there needs to be an outlet for that passion. Because of the way men are wired they tend to become that base man. It's men not women that think of sex every few seconds. The statistics are changing but the amount of men into porn was significantly more than women. Many men (yes women too) can't control themselves. But women are't wired in that way. We want to come along side and help and encourage not be used and abused. From what I've heard, there are more women being attacked by men than men by women. Men just think about things like that more than women.
ok I tried and I'm not sure if that made sense!! |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 07/23/2009 10:03 PM |
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I'm not entirely sure what I think of women taking or not taking their husbands name. I don't think not changing my name would mean I don't want to become united with my husband; but for my whole life so far, this is the last name I've had. It's part of me as much as my first name.
In Canada women don't change their names when they are married, since their diploma's and licenses and everything are in their maiden names. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/23/2009 11:08 PM |
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Men have an inner drive in them that is stronger than any we women have. They are competitive and always want to excell and be that top man.
This is a very good thing, actually. Without that drive to excel the world would be a much uglier place.
ok not all guys by all means but in general. With anyone there needs to be an outlet for that passion. Because of the way men are wired they tend to become that base man.
You see, here you are saying that a natural part of being a man ("they way men are wired") makes us into a "base man," this not being true of women. That is wrong and sexist.
It's men not women that think of sex every few seconds.
You'd be surprised.
The statistics are changing but the amount of men into porn was significantly more than women.
This is only true if by porn you only think of the visual form of porn. Once you include romantic porn, the number of women jumps way, way up.
Many men (yes women too) can't control themselves.
I have to disagree with this. Most men can control themselves, as can most women. It's a small minority of both that can't.
But women are't wired in that way. We want to come along side and help and encourage not be used and abused.
And men want to come alongside and be admired and not used and abused. Women "use and abuse" men just as much as men do women. There is no gender difference.
From what I've heard, there are more women being attacked by men than men by women. Men just think about things like that more than women.
Men think about attacking women more than women think of attacking men? I don't know how you can come to that conclusion. Further, while your statement might be true for physical abuse, it is far from true with emotional abuse. For every wife that is physically abused by her husband, there is at least one man being horrendously emotionally abused by his wife (not to mention the fact that there are plenty of men who are physically abused by their wives). The problem is the cultural perception: these forms of woman on man abuse are considered to be untrue. There is no Battered Husband's Clinic. No one gives a crap if a woman abuses a man. How many of you girls think that it's OK to slap a guy if he really deserves it, but if a guy ever hit a girl no matter what she did it would just be wrong? This sort of one-sided, superior, prejudiced thinking is exactly what is behind the growing trend of disrespect towards men.
Clare, what you're doing is focusing entirely on all the positive aspects of being female and all the negative aspects of being male. The truth is women have a very significant "dark side" and men have a very significant positive side. This sort of disproportionate thinking is exactly what is wrong with our culture. I know many of you girls on here are at least conceptually aware that there is a growing disrespect for men, and I think that's awesome. Just that realization puts you all a huge step above most other women. However, you must keep in mind, just because you realize that this disrespect exists does not make you immune to it. You will all have suffered from the same sorts of covert brainwashing tactics used to make you think less of men, and you won't have known it. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/23/2009 11:09 PM |
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It's men not women that think of sex every few seconds.
Also, this is factually untrue. Men do not think of sex every few seconds. That is a myth that has been perpetuated, and is a part of the overall growing disrespect for men in our culture I keep mentioning. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 07/24/2009 10:16 AM |
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I think people in general- men and women- want to be the best. Society tends to give men and women different avenues for their competition (girls try to out dress each other, have the "best" bf, guys try to out perform each other, have the "best" gf).
I don't think that striving for the best is a bad thing, as long as it's constructive.
I think that men (and women) can control themselves, though if everyone around them gives them the excuse "oh he can't help it," of course he is going to accept that. If you judge the success of a fish by it's ability to climb a ladder, it's always going to think it's stupid. If you even joke affectionately about a child being a "little monster," that is what that child will be. In the same way, what you expect from someone is what they will give you.
Obviously I DO NOT condone abuse by either side, but if I slapped a guy, I'd want him to slap me back (Is that weird or wrong?). I think the emotional abuse many men get from women is just as hurtful as physical abuse. Men rape women more often, yes, because they tend to be stronger and so it's actually possible. But women so, so often abuse men with their words. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/24/2009 10:26 AM |
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I think people in general- men and women- want to be the best. Society tends to give men and women different avenues for their competition (girls try to out dress each other, have the "best" bf, guys try to out perform each other, have the "best" gf).
I don't think that striving for the best is a bad thing, as long as it's constructive.
I think that men (and women) can control themselves, though if everyone around them gives them the excuse "oh he can't help it," of course he is going to accept that. If you judge the success of a fish by it's ability to climb a ladder, it's always going to think it's stupid. If you even joke affectionately about a child being a "little monster," that is what that child will be. In the same way, what you expect from someone is what they will give you.
I agree.
Obviously I DO NOT condone abuse by either side, but if I slapped a guy, I'd want him to slap me back (Is that weird or wrong?).
Not at all, just different. Most girls, in my experience, think they should be able to slap a guy, but he should never be able to hit her. For me, if my future wife ever slaps me (obviously, out of anger), we will be having a very intense discussion about how she shouldn't do that. I won't let myself be hit.
I think the emotional abuse many men get from women is just as hurtful as physical abuse.
This is true.
Men rape women more often, yes, because they tend to be stronger and so it's actually possible.
I've been wondering something lately. It seems to me that because men and women are different, the same thing for both will look different: a man's lust will look different than a woman's lust, etc. This has made me wonder, would a woman raping a man then look different than a man raping a woman? Perhaps... Of course, I don't know what it would look like, but it seems quite possible to me that women often rape men, but it doesn't look the same as a man raping a woman. Hm... |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 07/24/2009 10:33 AM |
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| Just to clarify, I don't want him to slap me back to "put me in my place" or whatever, but if someone slaps someone else, the someone else has full rights to slap them back. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 07/24/2009 2:09 PM |
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Ha ya when I get slapped I aways get slapped back that's the rule with me!
Alright David I hear you. I think I'm coming across like I'm very opinionated on this but I actually am not. I love a somewhat heated discussion! I'd strike an agruement in liturature class just to get a long discussion wether I really supported my point or not. There are alot of guys that don't think of sex every few seconds, and there are alot who do. My bf opened my eyes the that. I didn't think it was true either.
So no, I don't think women are better than men at all. While men can get us physically because they are stronger, women can hurt alot deeper with words and emotions. I know because I'm one who when I get mad and can't get even physically (as in a good punch) I turn to cutting with words. I'm praying on that one.
I haven't really thought about emotional porn before. But that is true!! |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 07/28/2009 2:15 AM |
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Yes i agree clare, i can wound guys deeply with words, actually i can wound girls deeply with words too... I have made people cry b4... but not for ages... like 6 years or more...
Girls can be... seductive.... so i guess that's kinda sorta along the same lines as guys raping someone, cuz it's kinda like the girl is just thinking of herself in the situation...
idk what do you all think (but dont get me wrong, I think anyone raping anyone is WRONG WRONG WRONG  )
Obviously I DO NOT condone abuse by either side, but if I slapped a guy, I'd want him to slap me back (Is that weird or wrong?).
Not at all, just different. Most girls, in my experience, think they should be able to slap a guy, but he should never be able to hit her. For me, if my future wife ever slaps me (obviously, out of anger), we will be having a very intense discussion about how she shouldn't do that. I won't let myself be hit.
I actually can't stand it when I hit my guy friends cuz they're being a pian, and I hit them lightly and they pretend it really hurt. It's actually an insult to me and it makes me want to refuse to speak to them. I'm not dumb and I know when I hit someone like that it's not THAT painful, so acting like it is kinda seems like the guy wants me to think I hurt him and is trying to play on my emotions...
as for the whole guys not hitting girls thing... respectfully guys shouldn't hit girls, but that doesn't give girls the right to hit guys full force without expecting a response... it's as insulting as a guy pretending to get hurt.
i don't need a guy to be so gentle he wouldn't hurt a fly... I'm a rough and tumble kinda girl and I expect guys to be rough and tumble, and if I do end up in a wrestling match with a friend, and I do get hurt, it's not their fault, cuz I was the one who allowed myself to be in the wresting match... if you get what I'm saying  |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
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God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 07/28/2009 2:19 AM |
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But... i also think a girl slapping a guy for "not a valid reason" is wrong.
But i will say, I've slapped guys hard b4, example, my brother was being very rude and sexist towards me and he was being so disrespectful that I slapped him hard through the face. and he stood there and took it like a man. and afterwards he came up to me and apoligised for what he'd said/done and said it was wrong, and I apoligised for slapping him but also said "If you ever do it again, don't expect me not to slap you AGAIN." the point is, If he had hit me back, I would have probably thrown some hard object at him or hit him with something because he would have been out of line. of course, then I'd have to run away and lock myself in the bathroom, cuz he'd probably wanna smash me |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/28/2009 11:49 AM |
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| I still think that it is always wrong for either gender to ever cause physical harm to the other out of anger, no matter how warranted the violence seems to be. Unfortunately, as it stands now, this is a rather significant double standard. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 07/28/2009 6:19 PM |
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Oh I wasn't meaning hitting the other person out of anger...
idk how to explain it...
of course, the part about me throwing something @ my bro... yeah that would be done out of anger |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Nicole
Posts:547
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| 07/30/2009 4:27 AM |
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I can't believe how long this forum has gotten, just from the initial post about diamond rings....
Anyways, to add my 2 cents: I personally can't stand hitting anybody, lightly or not. Idk, i guess that's just how i think; personally i think it's totally wrong for a girl to abuse a relationship with her bf if all she really does constantly is hit/slap him for doing the slightest thing 'wrong' and then yell at him for defending himself. Physical abuse is just as bad as emotional abuse, Imo at least. Girls are just as capable as men are in these areas, though i haven't known anyone, guy or girl, to actually practice abuse. Which is a very good thing.  |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/30/2009 11:11 AM |
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I agree, Nicole.
Long threads are nice. It means the conversation got going. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Nicole
Posts:547
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| 07/31/2009 5:31 PM |
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| Haha I guess that's true when you put it that way David. I have to admit, i love these convos and debates. Very refreshing. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 07/31/2009 7:12 PM |
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| I love long discussions, but when you're in a rush, LON posts are hard to read fully, and then you don't get exactly where everyone's comming from, don't get me wrong, I love long posts... it's just that i mainly don't have enough time |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 07/31/2009 7:28 PM |
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| Exactly! I get back from work at the end of the week and there's like 5 full pages of things that happened during the week and I don't have the time to read it all! |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 07/31/2009 7:33 PM |
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| oops sent that before I was done. I don't slap people that's the sissy way. My brothers have invented a technique called cracking your muscle and that's what I do! My bf is soo nice and would never hit me, me? I guess I show love by being rough. Sadly he bruises easy and I kind of pinch him alot. What else can I do when I'm pinned down being tickled to death! |
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