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Scifi
Posts:68
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| 08/02/2009 9:58 PM |
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"the girl buys the guy nothing."
This isn't true- what about the exhanging of the rings- the guy gets a wedding ring, the girl gets an engagement ring, as well as a wedding ring.
I've always thought I'd get an expensive ring for a future fiancee but this forum section has been enlightening. |
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"The purpose of Christianity is not to avoid difficulty, but to produce a character adequate to meet it when it comes. It does not make life easy; rather it tries to make us great enough for life." -- James L. Christensen
"For a small reward, a man will hurry away on a long journey; while for eternal life, many will hardly take a single step." Thomas a' Kempis (1380-1471)
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Scifi |
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David
Posts:499
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| 08/02/2009 10:50 PM |
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| If the girl buys him a wedding ring and he her, they cancel each other out. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Scifi
Posts:68
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| 08/05/2009 4:15 AM |
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Posted By David on 08/02/2009 10:50 PM
If the girl buys him a wedding ring and he her, they cancel each other out.
No they don't. The guy buys the girl an engagement ring before proposing.
Then, somewhere in the wedding ceremony, they have the exchanging of the rings, in which the guy gives the girl another ring, called the wedding ring, and the girl also gives the guy a wedding ring. |
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"The purpose of Christianity is not to avoid difficulty, but to produce a character adequate to meet it when it comes. It does not make life easy; rather it tries to make us great enough for life." -- James L. Christensen
"For a small reward, a man will hurry away on a long journey; while for eternal life, many will hardly take a single step." Thomas a' Kempis (1380-1471)
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Scifi |
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David
Posts:499
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| 08/06/2009 10:26 AM |
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The guy buys the girl an engagement ring before proposing. Then, somewhere in the wedding ceremony, they have the exchanging of the rings, in which the guy gives the girl another ring, called the wedding ring, and the girl also gives the guy a wedding ring.
Um... Exactly...
The guy gives a girl a wedding ring and the girl gives the guy a wedding ring. The guy gives the girl an engagement ring but the girl gives the guy nothing. I know people often think that to talk in terms of fairness in this issue is somehow selfish and sexist on the guys part, but it's really not. If we are going to have overall equal treatment among the genders, fairness must be talked about with every issue. In this case, the girl is receiving two things and the guy one. One thing for the girl and one thing for the guy, in effect, "cancel each other out," leaving the girl receiving one thing and the guy nothing. Or, in other words, the girl is given more than the guy. My problem with this is an assumed level of worth - more specifically, a disproportionate allocation of worth. The solution here is to either do away with the practice of engagement rings and have the engagement be solely about two people planning to join together, something most girls, having been raised in a culture that teaches them to expect and look forward to an engagement ring, greatly resist. The other solution is to instill within the culture the practice of the girl also giving the guy something at the time of engagement to signify her love and devotion to him.
Another way to think about this is mathematically. I know, I know, bring the cold reality of math into something like romance seems counterintuitive, but it actually has some very interesting things to say. Think about it, in the engagement the guy gives himself and an engagement, and the girl just gives herself. To say this is a perfectly fine practice is to say this: that guy + engagement ring = girl. Subtract the engagement ring out of the picture and you get this: guy < girl. Guy is of lesser value than girl. Don't you see the problem with this? When I say that wedding rings cancel each other out, I mean that the practice of giving wedding rings is actually equal (though you could argue the actual wedding isn't, but that's another discussion), since both give a wedding ring, therefore making it somewhat irrelevant.
I hope this better explains what I mean. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Scifi
Posts:68
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| 08/11/2009 6:24 PM |
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I see what you are saying, David.
However, since engagement rings are kinda embedded in our culture, the girl might feel let down if the guy doesn't get her a ring...
I guess that kinda proves your girl > guy thing. 
However, I cannot deny that sometimes that does seem true lol- A lot of the time girls seem like a higher species- that might explain why they are so frequently hard to understand lol... |
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"The purpose of Christianity is not to avoid difficulty, but to produce a character adequate to meet it when it comes. It does not make life easy; rather it tries to make us great enough for life." -- James L. Christensen
"For a small reward, a man will hurry away on a long journey; while for eternal life, many will hardly take a single step." Thomas a' Kempis (1380-1471)
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Scifi |
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David
Posts:499
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| 08/11/2009 10:01 PM |
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However, since engagement rings are kinda embedded in our culture, the girl might feel let down if the guy doesn't get her a ring...
Thus, the more easily applied solution is to have her present him with a physical symbol as well, even if the better solution is to do away with the practice altogether.
A lot of the time girls seem like a higher species-
This feeling is most likely due to having grown up and having been significantly influenced by a post-feminist culture that places more value on women than on men. However, your feeling is not correct. Girls are not a higher species, and you should not treat them as such. To do so is a both a disservice to you and to them, and cannot lead to anything good. Equality, interdependence and inter-submission is what really needs to happen. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Scifi
Posts:68
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| 08/12/2009 3:13 AM |
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| " Girls are not a higher species, and you should not treat them as such. To do so is a both a disservice to you and to them, and cannot lead to anything good."
I didn't mean that literally lol I just used the higher species thing to illustrate a point. |
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"The purpose of Christianity is not to avoid difficulty, but to produce a character adequate to meet it when it comes. It does not make life easy; rather it tries to make us great enough for life." -- James L. Christensen
"For a small reward, a man will hurry away on a long journey; while for eternal life, many will hardly take a single step." Thomas a' Kempis (1380-1471)
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Scifi |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 03/12/2011 6:20 AM |
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AAAhhhh what a great discussion looks like 
yeah guys shouldn't be devalued and neither should girls...
and yeah i still plan on giving my guy something when he proposes to me (or shortly after as I probs wont know when he'll propose)
and it has made me think why us girls go all GAGA over the rings... when really, we should be stoaked we're getting married 
I felt bad the other day cuz my friend flashed her ring in my face and was like "LOOK" and I was kinda like ".... oh... is that...." very unenthusiastically, cuz i just thought about how it's not the ring that's most important... and I then said "you're GETTING MARRIED!!!" but i actually couldn't be stuffed with staring at the ring actually... my gran goes more gaga over the rings than i do now lol. |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Nicole
Posts:547
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| 03/13/2011 5:09 AM |
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Looks like I found the "engagement ring" thread! (see other posts) Haha! Well, I commented WAAY back when, but actually, if a girl flashes me her engagement ring- I usually take it as a sign that she's proud and happy (or over the moon) to be engaged to wonderful fiancé, and yeah, actually loving her pretty ring.  If I ever get an engagement ring, I don't believe I'd be flashing it, but I actually don't like being the center of attention either No one has ever really flashed me her engagement ring, but I whenever I see one on someone I know, I give an enthusiastic congratulations ^_^ then proceed to comment on the ring. I still think it's a very good and interesting idea to get a guy an "engagement" ring or something of the sort. The guys should have some fun. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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Rose
Posts:135
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| 03/15/2011 8:09 PM |
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Haha I will be very low maintenance when it comes to weddings, rings, proposals, etc. To me, an engagement ring would be a nice reminder for me to pray for my future husband whenever I spot it on my finger. I have a purity ring now, and I use it to remember to pray for my future husband.
I would absolutely love an heirloom ring... or even an inexpensive, vintage ring from an antique store! Anything unique and reasonable would be great.
As for the wedding, I would like a small family wedding in the summer at our farm. It's crazy how much stress, money, and tears couples put into weddings and receptions! Wedding planning need not be a long, dreaded process, but a fun time of bonding for the couple, the parents, and the siblings.
My mom, grandmother, and my aunts cooked all the food for their small outdoor wedding and my dad took a walk with his brother beforehand and picked loads and loads of beautiful wildflowers for decoration. Because of this, they were able to leave for their honeymoon debt-free--- and I must say the pictures of their wedding are absolutely gorgeous!!
It is exciting to think about your wedding, but really the wedding is just one day and your lives together are forever. We, both guys and girls, should spend more time investing in prayer for our future spouse than worrying over the state of perfection of our ceremony, rings, dress, and reception. |
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God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of POWER, of LOVE, and of SELF-DISCIPLINE. So do not be afraid to testify about our LORD.
~2 Timothy 1:7-8 |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 03/16/2011 3:41 AM |
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| wow Rose, I like your statement... shows lots of maturity! something rare these days at our age It is exciting to think about your wedding, but really the wedding is just one day and your lives together are forever. We, both guys and girls, should spend more time investing in prayer for our future spouse than worrying over the state of perfection of our ceremony, rings, dress, and reception. |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Q
Posts:137
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| 03/16/2011 9:16 PM |
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| I was reading The Dirt, a book about Motley Crue and one of them when he got married he and his wife got wedding tatoos, I don't know if it was a ring on their fingers or a tatoo elsewhere, but wondering what you guys think about this idea?? |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 03/17/2011 12:01 AM |
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A tatoo ring? How UNromantic! lol. I don't think that tatoos are a sin, but I think that they're not necessarily God-honoring either, even if you have a picture of a cross or something like that. Tatoos are dangerous and besides, they hurt!
As for a ring, I would love to have one. I have never worn a ring before (except for dress-up or church when I was little) so I think that an engagement ring-a very simple and inexpensive one-would be a wonderful reminder during the engagement season to help me keep my eyes fixed on my First Love... and of course, I'd want the people out there to know that I'm taken just by looking at me. |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 03/17/2011 3:12 AM |
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yeah, but I think what David was trying to get across is that the girls seem to be fixated on the ring, and make such a big deal about it, and the guys dont get anything... and aren't they important also...
thats his point
as for tatoos... me strictly speaking... I donno if they're a sin... but I personally wouldn't get one and I donno if I'd like my guy to have one, but we'll see what happens....
but other things than a wedding ring could be cool...
I know my friends are german, and they have their rings on the opposite hand... cuz thats how it's done there |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Nicole
Posts:547
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| 03/17/2011 1:38 PM |
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I couldn't agree more with what Jo said about David's point. I do concede with David's point too It appears the tradition of an engagement ring (a diamond one at that) came from when the Archduke Maximillian of Austria gave a diamond ring to Mary of Burgundy. Since then i guess the tradition spread. The diamond is supposed to be the universal symbol for eternal love and commitment, and is strong, durable, and beautiful- which (is supposed to) represent a marriage. For the most part, that's a tiny background. http://www.abazias.com/diamondblog/diamond-education/history-of-the-diamond-engagement-ring
That would be the website I stole the information off of. I guess back in the Renaissance there were such things called "gimmel" ring where bits of the ring were worn by both the bride-to-be and the groom-to-be. Then the rings were united on their wedding day to become a wedding ring.
Anyways, I kind of like that idea, so maybe when I find a husband-to-be I'll get him something similar to an engagement ring. ^_^ |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 03/18/2011 7:50 AM |
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yeah.
I know the rings are well, rings, and a solid band, because it's supposed to symbolise eternal love, as the band never ends or starts thats kinda cool!
My mother got an engagement ring, and then a wedding ring and then a 1 year ring (i guess it's called an eternal ring, but not 100% sure) and they fit together, like a puzzle
anyways, I now own that ring (set of rings). but hehe my fingers are too small |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 03/19/2011 10:29 PM |
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I know a really cute hippy couple who are missionaries in Mexico, and they got wedding ring tattoo's and eachother's name on their wrists. it was sweet
well Grant and I got *ahem* a $30 engagement ring, and we got the wedding ring from a pawn shop hey it is not too expensive, never really worn, and just what I wanted, simple! I don't like jewelry! |
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Q
Posts:137
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| 03/20/2011 8:25 PM |
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I think that tattoos are just much more permanent than a ring, more committment which I think is romantic, but everyone views romance differently, tattoos are only a sin for someone who is Jewish because Gentiles were given only a few laws to keep (Acts 15:20), but somwhere in the Torah it says to not put ink in your skin, (Leviticus 19:28).
Clare, that's cute, really awsome that you aren't like $30 is that all he thinks of me, as some girls are, it gives him a lot more freedom to be romantic in his own way. |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 03/22/2011 1:56 PM |
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| As I said before, I don't think tatoos are a sin, but I don't think you need an engagement ring or anything as a sign of your commitment, although I would like a simple, inexpensive ring. It's the heart where the commitment starts, and the heart that remains important in marriage. |
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Q
Posts:137
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| 03/22/2011 9:04 PM |
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| Agreed. |
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