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The forum you are about to enter is coed, but until the For Young Men Only book was released, September 16, 2008, it’s been dominated by the alien gender. Discussions have centered on a variety of topics including the companion book for teen girls, For Young Women Only. We hope this forum will provide answers to questions, advice, and explanations, in a way that will help you understand the opposite sex better. Young Men…enter at your own risk!

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Forums > Teen Online Forums > Advice From Fellow Readers
Subject: help needed por favor
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#72User is Offline

Posts:5
07/25/2011 3:45 PM  
well im 15 now & im talking wit this girl its a long story that ill try to narrow down... Ive known her for 6 years since i was small & honestly i did have a crush on her for some time but I was young & reckless (still am) but Ive managed to forget about her & flirt with other girls. I still wanted to be with her & i told her before I left to Puerto Rico for a year. During the year there she found someone else & they dated up to when i came back here (a year). I came back and dated this other girl & she was having trouble with her own relationship. I helped both of them but it eneded either way. Her ex showed signs of a abusive relationship (with all due respect). Over 5 month after their breakup he stilled have feelings for her & so did I but I held it in until one day we just both said we had feelings for each other. Now we been talking for a month and 5 days but her ex is still a major issue to us & shes wants to talk to him to settle things (I guess I should just let them right).
Love is a roller coaster it makes u sick but u wanna ride it again and again
God's GirlUser is Offline

Posts:45
07/25/2011 11:03 PM  
What is the question?
JoJoUser is Offline

Posts:1657
07/26/2011 6:12 AM  
I think he's asking if he should let them settle things.

I do think everyone needs closure, but you said he's abusive? correct me if I'm wrong... so it might not be 100% wise... hmmm I'll ask around and see what some people older than me, think. :D I'm only 22... hehe, so I don't know everything :P
Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo
God's GirlUser is Offline

Posts:45
07/26/2011 12:34 PM  
I second what JoJo said. If she does end up talking to him, doing it in a public place that is kind of private but people are still around might be a good idea.
clareUser is Offline

Posts:932
07/29/2011 4:12 PM  
it depends on what "settling" needs to be done. Is he going to try to get her back? does she carry any feelings for him? 6 months into my relationship with my fiance issues with my ex still kept coming up and dragging me down and I finally had to call my ex up and just put a close on things. For me I needed to hear him say he was sorry for what happened, I needed to tell him I was sorry and I had to make it clear he was going to be gone from my life forever. For us, it was essential to our relationship for me to go back and clear things up or there would have always been this doubt of this feeling of not having settled things. Would it be that way with this girl?

If your friend has a specific reason she needs to talk to her ex, it would probably be good. But she probably shouldn't talk to him just to "talk and clear things up'" but know exactly what she wants to say and what she needs to hear him say. Then make it clear she wants him gone and not leave any ground for..well maybe someday..If he really is abusive it would be best if talking is done over the phone, or if in person with a friend near by. just in case he starts trying to get her to come back to him or any of that.
#72User is Offline

Posts:5
08/01/2011 9:49 AM  
i didnt mean abusive 2 such extremes but there are warning signs... her ex was one of my friends but while he was wit her he told me he was in gangs & drugs etc. so I cant help to see how I compare to him... I dont know sometimes I feel like Im the rebound & theres onli problems there she told me she still wants 2 say sorry to her ex and visa versa but the other day she tells me sorry I like you and all but I still love someone else and dont want to confuse you so part of me wants to end it because right now only half of her is into me
Love is a roller coaster it makes u sick but u wanna ride it again and again
JoJoUser is Offline

Posts:1657
08/02/2011 6:26 AM  
i think you're right there... she'll have a hold on you as long as you let her... sometimes the only way to make someone see sense is to take yourself out of the equation.

I'm meaning... she might be trying to take you along for the ride, thinking you'll be there if she decides to be with you eventually... and sometimes, you need to just say "I'm out" and then they'll decide if you're worth the fight or if they weren't really into you in the first place.... and I think honestly, you'd rather know sooner rather than later what the answer is... :(
Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo
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Forums > Teen Online Forums > Advice From Fellow Readers > help needed por favor


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