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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 08/30/2011 6:30 AM |
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ok so I've been sick in bed for a week...
and I happened to have a really awesome dream about a guy in a movie I had recently watched... and like most people, you try to go back to sleep and see what happens...
so I got carried away and kinda imagined a whole story of how it could have turned out. (nothing dodgy, i can control myself that much lol.) and yeah, it stopped me being bored, but, I had 2 days afterwards feeling depressed, cuz well, #1... I have never met this guy in my life... duh! 
my point of this topic is, it's really easy for us girls to get emotionally involved or attatched to a guy, who we've never met, or never spoken to, or who doesn't even know you exist because in your mind, you've been in a relationship.
a girl's mind is a powerful thing, just as a guys mind is with porn or whatever... and it's not really healthy for anyone... especially as you feel even worse afterwards, because you were bored, or lonely... it's not worth it...
and one thing I wanna say is... sometimes we dream up our perfect relationship, like how the guy magically knows the exact right words to say or to do and he's always a perfect gentleman or whatever... and it's giving us a false expectation of real guys... I mean yes, sure, you can find really Godly, loving, caring, almost perfect guys, but it doesn't mean you're never gonna argue, or circumstances may happen that you dont expect...
I think there might be a topic on a similar wavelength somewhere, I can't find it... but I think we give guys such a hard job because we have this "perfect" guy in our minds, and most guys can't live up to it...
idk, anyone have any comments or oppinions? lol |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Rose
Posts:137
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| 08/30/2011 9:55 PM |
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| First off, I hope you feel better, Jojo! I don't have much time to write, but I'd just like to agree with what you said in your post. I went to a friend's wedding this summer, and for the week following the event I found myself thinking a lot about marriage and how amazing it would be to have a godly guy by my side. I soon found that these daydreams were distracting me from my Bible study time. Since then, whenever these thoughts come into my head, I say to myself, "Do not arouse or awaken love until it (meaning God's will) so desires." It is so hard to match our timing with God's. But let's focus on the present and ask God to replace our crazy romantic emotions with total devotion and love for our family and peers. |
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God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of POWER, of LOVE, and of SELF-DISCIPLINE. So do not be afraid to testify about our LORD.
~2 Timothy 1:7-8 |
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Nicole
Posts:552
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| 08/31/2011 4:43 AM |
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I would be remiss if I didn't post on this thread 
I understand what Jo is saying. Definitely. I know how easy it is to conjure up images of characters I read about in my books. I want to imagine what they look like. In many ways, it helps the story come to life. I've never really imagined myself in the role of the damsel per sé, nor conjured up daydreams, but I have to be careful in how far I let my imagination run. I have to admit, a few times, I think I had to really restrain it from going too far.
Another thing is, yes, being single into your 20s does leave someone like me wondering what it would be like to have someone handsome and kind and caring give you attention. I have to be careful here too. And I agree with Jo, that, if we're not careful, we can set ourselves up for all these unrealistic expectations. What marriage or relationship is argue and work free? It takes 2 to build and maintain a relationship. Not to be negative or anything, but I used to believe in the fairytale 'happily ever after' love at first sight thing (hey a girl can dream can't she?) now I just think it's a little over rated. Don't get me wrong, I really believe in happy endings, I've seen happy marriages out there; but I know it's not all roses and sunshine either I heard somewhere that you need to become a student of your husband/wife. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 08/31/2011 6:20 AM |
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haha @ nicole  you learnt that from Fireproof?? lol. like even after you're married, you should STILL study your spouse?
yeah, I dont normally let myself daydream away, i guess it's cuz I was sick in bed lol.
but yes, so I dont really like chick flicks too much, the really mushy pointless ones... A Walk To Remember is different, cuz it makes you think about life. and if you haven't seen Bride Wars... you should. It's not really a chick flick at all... it's more a comedy and it has an amazing message!
but yes. i guess thats why i tend to watch more action movies... less chance of getting obsessed about romance I agree @ Rose about the dont awaken love until it so desires!
but yes, i'm avoiding watching Tomorrow When the War Began until I'm over this stupid crush haha. (btw it's an Australian movie, based on the novels. quite a good movie version. an excellent book series... minus the very few sex stuff... which I will avoid watching in the movies if they put it in (which I hope they dont!) ) but yes. the first movie is excellent if you get a chance to watch it, you should watch it. |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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JesusRocksMySocks
Posts:3
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| 09/01/2011 10:09 AM |
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| i gotta admitt, i daydream like that all the time and i can never figure out if its right or wrong... but i can't really stop myslef sometimes and i just like to imagine the almost perfect guy for me..... i mean, it's not like theres anything good that comes out of it.... maybe a few more ideas about things to say to guys.... but thats about it lol whatever tho.... i just hope to be asked out soon!!! lol!!! |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 09/02/2011 6:57 AM |
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well i know the Bible doesn't say anything about daydreaming, or not that I've found, but like Nicole said, "dont awaken love until it so desires" is in the Bible. i think that thinking about the attributes or what your expectations are for a future husband isn't a bad thing, it means you'll set yourself standards and will be less likely to fall for a mediocre guy.
but I think fantisizing is wrong, cuz it's sorta what guys go through with porn... and if you wake up feeling like you long for the relationship you had in your dream, and it's not a real life situation, you're putting your heart and emotions in a dangerous place... cuz it's so easy to fill the void with your imagination, but the good feeling lasts a short time, and the horrible void feeling kinda intensifies...
lol idk does anyone else get that? |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Drake
Posts:181
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| 09/03/2011 7:30 AM |
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| Great movie fireproof. Also I daydream all the time. Im even doing it now as i write. For me its not a bad thing cause it gives me ideas for my books. It passes the time and helps me plan out what i want to do and how to do things in vertain cituations. It's true you vant get carried away but i view it as a positive. Also @ jojo what do you mean guys and porn?! |
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"For god so loved the world that he gave his one and only son. That whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." Bible.
"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god". Bible.
"Use your head to show your heart what you truly want." Aaron Ward.
Do not just look on one side of the tree that you see for good apples but also look on the other for you may find the best where you aren't looking." Aaron Ward.
"Don't try to gather all apples off a tree to compare them. For that will take forever. Rather just look and see so that you find the perfect one rather than going through many to be dissapointed." Aaron Ward. |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 09/04/2011 12:43 AM |
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i think daydreaming is a bit dif for guys... but i know what you mean about the story thing... when I was in my story writing phase, that did help, but i wasn't as invested emotionally in the daydream
so you're newer to the forums, so you dont know about that whole topic about porn for guys and fantasy for girls...
basically, think about what porn does to a guy... romance novels, day dreaming (obsessively etc etc) and the like, do the same thing to girls as porn does to guys.
Guys have the whole physical struggle, and then girls have to try to live up to what the guys are filling their heads with. and girls have the emotional struggle, and guys have to live up to mr perfect that girls have dreamed of... and most of the time, that is impossible in both cases (most porn is fake, and no girl ever looks like that...) etc etc... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Drake
Posts:181
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| 09/04/2011 1:01 AM |
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| That's true. But some guys like me don't care about porn. It's just a picture. Nothing more. Also why do girls imagine the perfect guy? Just simply try to find him. no need ti imagine him. |
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"For god so loved the world that he gave his one and only son. That whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." Bible.
"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god". Bible.
"Use your head to show your heart what you truly want." Aaron Ward.
Do not just look on one side of the tree that you see for good apples but also look on the other for you may find the best where you aren't looking." Aaron Ward.
"Don't try to gather all apples off a tree to compare them. For that will take forever. Rather just look and see so that you find the perfect one rather than going through many to be dissapointed." Aaron Ward. |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 09/05/2011 3:14 AM |
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yeah I know, and some girls can get through life without the romance novels etc...
you need to understand one thing... girls have this deep need inside them, that their husband should fulful... not all, because some are specially chosen, or ordained, to be single...
But, we have a need for someone to protect us, to love us, to call us beautiful, to provide for us etc etc etc. in other words, we really have a desire for a perfect gentleman... and so girls try to imagine this perfect gentleman, who always does the right thing, and never messes up....
and part of that is because we need Jesus, as he was the ONLY perfect guy lol. but you can see how girls can come to expect a guy to be like that... and thats good and all, to have standards... but in all reality, no guy is perfect, just like no girl is gonna be 100% good looking... or whatever
and so if a girl keeps dreaming of a perfect guy, she's gonna feel let down in life because there is no "perfect" guy.
and you say you dont have the porn issue, so from guys I do know who've got through that issue... you start to think that your perfect girl is gonna satisfy you as much as the fake girls, and in reality, we can't... (and I mean, girls already have issues with feeling ugly etc etc... it's just a girl thing. even if you're stunning...) and eventually real girls dont fill your need, and you end up not able to actually have a proper relationship with a girl cuz the fake one, it was (sorta) under your control... and a real one (unless you're a complete jerk and try to force your way) you can't control, and in reality. girls just aren't as physical as guys, as guys aren't as emotional as girls.
I mean guys wanna be the protector... and girls wanna be the princess... you dont really see it the other way... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Drake
Posts:181
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| 09/05/2011 3:30 AM |
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| Well I think its simple and easy to do that without the porn and whatnot. And why is it that girls are so emotional? Like I can be empathetic but its kind odd, funny and bad that girls tgibk so emitionally. |
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"For god so loved the world that he gave his one and only son. That whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." Bible.
"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god". Bible.
"Use your head to show your heart what you truly want." Aaron Ward.
Do not just look on one side of the tree that you see for good apples but also look on the other for you may find the best where you aren't looking." Aaron Ward.
"Don't try to gather all apples off a tree to compare them. For that will take forever. Rather just look and see so that you find the perfect one rather than going through many to be dissapointed." Aaron Ward. |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 09/06/2011 7:51 AM |
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btw in the previous comment the "you" didn't mean you hehe it meant like people in general
well, being a guy, it's harder for you to understand why girls are this way, but in reality, God made the guys to be the protector, the one that provides etc etc, and He made girls wired differently, we're wired emotionally. so that means we can be good mothers, can sorta learn easier how to be good wifes, ie looking after keeping the home happy, cuz we're sensitive to emotional needs...
and both are from God. he has both, just guys got the physical stuff and girls got the emotional stuff... and you might find this shocking, but girls aren't really that focused on what a guy looks like... look up the topic called" the male body" if you wanna see what girls really think... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Drake
Posts:181
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| 09/06/2011 5:52 PM |
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| Nah I get the fact we wired differently and that girls don't always look at the body. Me I always think with my head so yeah. Im pretty much agreeing woth most of ehat you say. |
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"For god so loved the world that he gave his one and only son. That whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." Bible.
"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god". Bible.
"Use your head to show your heart what you truly want." Aaron Ward.
Do not just look on one side of the tree that you see for good apples but also look on the other for you may find the best where you aren't looking." Aaron Ward.
"Don't try to gather all apples off a tree to compare them. For that will take forever. Rather just look and see so that you find the perfect one rather than going through many to be dissapointed." Aaron Ward. |
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Rose
Posts:137
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| 09/10/2011 5:23 PM |
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Posted By JoJo on 09/06/2011 7:51 AM
and you might find this shocking, but girls aren't really that focused on what a guy looks like...
I was just thinking about that today. I am attracted to every single ambitious, gentle, sold-out Christian guy I meet. Honestly (and I'm not just saying this), looks don't matter at all to me when a guy is truly seeking after Christ!
More and more Christ is enabling me to see the inner beauty of fellow Christians. Our God is beautiful! When he lives within us, no flaw we claim to wear can hide his stunning-ness (new word ).
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God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of POWER, of LOVE, and of SELF-DISCIPLINE. So do not be afraid to testify about our LORD.
~2 Timothy 1:7-8 |
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Rose
Posts:137
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| 09/10/2011 5:27 PM |
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I was just thinking about that today. I am attracted to every single ambitious, gentle, sold-out Christian guy I meet.
Well, I just reread my post and realized that I sounded like a hopeless romantic. NOT the case. lol I just meant that I'm attracted to Christlike personalities. (:
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God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of POWER, of LOVE, and of SELF-DISCIPLINE. So do not be afraid to testify about our LORD.
~2 Timothy 1:7-8 |
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ash
Posts:3
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| 09/11/2011 5:21 AM |
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| i totally and completely agree! i am against day dreaming 100% when its about a particular boy! very dangerous, lol. i've gotten myself so 'in love' with my own version of boys, its ridiculous. so way to go on this statement |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 09/11/2011 6:27 AM |
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Oh, I'll add in a comment here... I heard this a while back, but it applys here
"fantasy seems real, and you try to fill the void with it, but when you're back to reality, it's a relationship of 1. there is only you..." |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 09/15/2011 4:21 PM |
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married woman stepping in
I have a thing or two to say about day dreaming. Glad you brought it up Jo! For as far back as I can remember I've daydreamed to put me to sleep at night. Often getting so caught up in it I couldn't sleep! It started with daydreams about owning a horse, innocent enough. As I got older it became more and more about dating. I NEVER daydreamed about someone I knew but I invented man and invented names. Being innocent enough the dreams were never bad but in my young mind I imagined the first kiss or the wedding day as like the ultimate joy. in my dream once "we were married" I'd grow bored and invent a new situation and man.
That said...it's no wonder my first relationship was done in secret from my parents, (nothing bad ever happened!!!) I lost my kiss to some guy I didn't love. I think I quit my day dreams the day I started dating that guy. Real life is harsh, and those daydreams weaken our resolves. #1 kissing is really not that amazing!!! #2 for many, dating is the most stressful thing you can do. #3 weddings are exhausting and, for me, the hardest day of my life! Marriage isn't all roses but I must say it is better than dating/courting It's really not that romantic being up all night when your hubby has a rash all over his face and is about to go crazy, and then getting up early to go make him breakfast!
I feel like I completely wasted a lot of my mind most of my life, rather daydreaming than reading my bible, or doing it in church. I realize is just said a lot but I don't want to see other girls fritter away their time and minds like it did |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 09/15/2011 4:25 PM |
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| extra note on that kissing...yes it is amazing don't get me wrong, but it's not worth daydreaming about all your life!!! I mean, there is bad breathe and chapped lips, spit..yeah gross and blunt, but no one thinks about that in those silly daydreams |
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JoJo
Posts:1670
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| 09/16/2011 3:49 AM |
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| YUSS married woman's oppinion hehe! and I second what she says |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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