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bubbagump
Posts:25
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| 11/25/2011 3:29 AM |
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| Hey all, here's the deal. I like my best friend. I have known her for 3 years and she is litteraly the best friend that I have. I have never thought of her in a dating aspect until very recently, and I honestly don't know what to do. From my own personal experience I have come to find that dating just damages a friendship in the long run... I have No idea what to do, could someone please help? |
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God's Girl
Posts:48
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| 11/25/2011 9:12 PM |
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| Have you thought about the fact that her thoughts about you may have also recently changed? She too may also be unsure. If you don't know, then I would wait a while and see how things work out. If you do decide you want to ask her out, I think that she would be quite flattered, even if she doesn't want to. If she says no, as long as you don't ask again, then nothing should change very much between you as far as the friendship goes. |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 11/30/2011 5:25 PM |
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| it will make the friendship awkward. especially if you continue to like her and she doesn't like you in that way. as always, my advice is wait. time never hurts and it can help you become more sure of yourself if you like her or not and see if she is giving any signs of liking you or just wanting to remain friends. |
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bubbagump
Posts:25
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| 12/02/2011 7:26 PM |
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I knew that time would definitely help, and i was also thinking that our friendship would be awkward if she doesn't feel the same way. I talked to one of her good friends, and she said that i probably have a chance, but i don't know if i want to risk our friendship
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Lucky Albatross
Posts:176
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| 12/03/2011 4:26 AM |
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I'm not gonna lie. Outside of romantic comedies, I've never seen a man and a woman make the transition from best friends to couple. Not saying it can't be done, mind you, but it'll take alot of effort!
If you're really committed to this, you have to completely change her perception of you in order to have a shot. You can't be her 'friend' if your wanna date her. Friends and boyfriends are two completely separate creatures in her book. (My observations; take of them what you will!  )
My advice: Don't talk to her for a few days. Do something without her. Don't be a jerk about it, of course, but show that you have a life independent of your relationship with her. If she wonders where you've been, why you didn't call, why you didn't invite her to the concert (or whatever event you like to go to), that's a good sign. It means she wants to be a part of your life and was slightly hurt when she wasn't included. It could be just friendly curiosity, sure, but I'm confident you can discern between that and wanting to be included in your life.
On the inverse, ask her out somewhere. Have dinner and a movie, see the Christmas lights in a nearby town or whatever fun and unexpected thing you can think of. Basically, do something you would do for a first date, and act accordingly. If she reacts positively, do something again the following week and so on. If not, back up, and move on.
Either do something to distinguish yourself from the pack in her eyes as I advised above, or put any feelings into the back of you mind and channel them into more platonic pursuits. Those are your options, in my estimation.
Whichever way you go, good luck! |
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One step at time,
I trust these feet of mine,
To carry me on to where I belong.
Mike Zito |
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IDLibrarian
Posts:20
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| 02/02/2012 3:56 AM |
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Posted By Lucky Albatross on 12/03/2011 4:26 AM
I'm not gonna lie. Outside of romantic comedies, I've never seen a man and a woman make the transition from best friends to couple. Not saying it can't be done, mind you, but it'll take alot of effort!
I have! Because it happened to me!
I liked my best friend for six years. We're now happily courting, with our goal being eventual marriage.
I think that a best-friend relationship is absolutely the best one to begin a romance from, IF you can get the other party to return your feelings (which is no picnic sometimes...). But it definitely offers a lot of honesty, tolerance, care, and just general fun that most relationships can't. You've already seen each other at your best and worst, been there for each other, probably survived a few squabbles, AND know each other's families (a big plus!). |
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IDLibrarian
Posts:20
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| 02/02/2012 4:00 AM |
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Sorry, I'm not very good at this quote thing... anyway, I quoted the 'I've never seen it happen' line.
Then, I wrote:
I have! Because it happened to me! I liked my best friend for six years. We're now happily courting, with our goal being eventual marriage. I think that a best-friend relationship is absolutely the best one to begin a romance from, IF you can get the other party to return your feelings (which is no picnic sometimes...). But it definitely offers a lot of honesty, tolerance, care, and just general fun that most relationships can't. You've already seen each other at your best and worst, been there for each other, probably survived a few squabbles, AND know each other's families (a big plus!). |
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