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swimmer
Posts:11
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| 05/12/2009 12:02 AM |
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What do girls really think of guys when they cry? I mean, I've heard they think that's it's good for a guy to express their emotional side...but I don't really buy it...not gonna lie.  So that's my question...yeah
Your bro in Christ,
Jordan |
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Emily
Posts:29
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| 05/12/2009 12:08 AM |
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Personally, it's kind of cool when a guy cries. I mean the usual image of a guy is tough, has it all together, hard to crack. But when a guy cries, its like you see a whole nother side of him, like he's letting you into his life in a deeper way. I also think it's good for a guy to cry, i mean nothing good comes out of keeping your emotions bottled up, trust me i know about that! so yupperdoodles...hope that answers your question...
here's a question for you, what do you think about guys crying. what goes on in a guy's head when it comes to showing true emotions in public.
Your sister in Christ,
Emily |
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Emilyy |
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David
Posts:499
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| 05/12/2009 12:59 AM |
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| I have a further question in regards to guy's crying. I've received somewhat mixed messages from girls when it comes to guy's and their emotions. Most girls seem to say that they like it if a guy can cry, however these same girls also say they don't want a guy who is too emotional. So... What are we guys to make of that? It would seem, and this is just my opinion (one I'd rather be wrong on), that girls are more ok with a guy not crying than with a guy who cries but who is also more emotional. As a result, we guys tend to try and stifle our emotions. So... What do the ladies think about this? |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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David
Posts:499
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| 05/12/2009 1:01 AM |
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| I suppose I should amend what I said. I might be asking the wrong audience. I would imagine that the girls here are here because they've read the books. By that fact alone, the girls here are likely to be of a higher caliber, and would therefore be more likely to be ok with, if not encouraging of a guy having a healthy emotional state. And that sort of renders my question almost irrelevant. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Adelynn
Posts:189
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| 05/12/2009 8:39 AM |
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Posted By swimmer on 05/12/2009 12:02 AM I've heard they think that's it's good for a guy to express their emotional side...but I don't really buy it...not gonna lie. So that's my question...yeah
Your bro in Christ,
Jordan
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"... I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy..." Acts 2.17
What If His People Prayed? |
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Adelynn
Posts:189
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| 05/12/2009 8:49 AM |
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oops, I pushed the wrong button... Anyway, can I ask why, Jordan? Why don't you believe that?
I think it depends... everyone has their own version about what's "too emotional." For me, if a guy has a valid reason to be crying, i.e. even if I don't think it's a big deal, if it truly is a big deal to him, it's valid. I really respect guys who express when things bother them or make them happy. Even if they are angry, as long as they don't break any of my stuff =] Although drama queens wear me out =P Going off the wall about everything except someone being kidnapped/dying/something else tragic is usually over the top, but being concerned is cool. For example, Usually guys are so stoic about things; I don't want a guy to start bawling because he didn't get a good score on a test, but it's okay if he's mad or frustrated about it.
What do you really think about girls crying? |
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"... I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy..." Acts 2.17
What If His People Prayed? |
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Adelynn
Posts:189
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| 05/12/2009 8:53 AM |
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| "Going off the wall about everything except someone being kidnapped/dying/something else tragic is usually over the top, but being concerned is cool." Translation: Unless something really tragic or upsetting is going on, going off the wall isn't cool, just tone it down a bit. If something tragic/upsetting is happening, go ahead. Go crazy. |
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"... I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy..." Acts 2.17
What If His People Prayed? |
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Emily
Posts:29
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| 05/12/2009 9:58 AM |
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I agree with Adelynn. Every one has there own "too Emotional" and as long as there is a reason for it than its all good...just dont go off the wall. 
yeah what do yall think about girls crying? |
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Emilyy |
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Cayla Renae
Posts:58
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| 05/12/2009 12:19 PM |
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I think it shows true confidance if a guy can let intense emotions show by tearing up. I agree that being too emotional is a turn off (too emotional has been described quite well by other girls), but it's honestly touching when a guy tears up over a truly touching or upsetting moment.
I've heard that most guys don't like it when girls cry because they feel helpless and they want to fix it but don't know how. Is that right? If it is, I'm hoping that my future husband will be okay with my tears (not happy about them, but not get awkward when I cry)... I also don't want to hurt him by crying, which some girls are known to do just to manipulate their boyfriends (which is SOOO wrong!!!) |
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~created by the King to do good things~ |
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David
Posts:499
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| 05/12/2009 2:05 PM |
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Guys have mixed feelings on the issue. When a girl cries our instinctive protective nature really kicks in, and we want to fix the world for you. However, we are also very good at seeing when the crying is manipulative, and that will only anger us. Also, we can get frustrated with what sometimes appears as hypocrisy when a girl doesn't like it if we get too emotional about little things, but expects us to be ok with her getting too emotional about the little things, simply because she's a girl and that entitles her to it in her mind. It can also get frustrating because crying can feel to us like a cheat card. If we're having a fight with our girlfriend, no matter who is in the wrong, if she starts crying (even if she's not doing it purposefully to manipulate) we all of a sudden want to fix things for her, which often means us "giving in" and admitting we're wrong. This sort of conflict resolution is actually not healthy because the guy always admitting he's wrong, even if he's not, will most likely lead to his becoming like a doormat.
So, with the exception of those things, if you start crying for a legitimate reason, we'd do anything to fix whatever is wrong. We'd fight whoever it took, take whatever pain so you wouldn't have to, we'd do the impossible just to see you smile again. We want to be your hero. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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swimmer
Posts:11
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| 05/12/2009 6:28 PM |
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One reason I had a hard time believing is kinda what David said. But now I definetely understand where you guys are coming from.
Let's see...when I see a girl cry. Sometimes if I don't know them that well, I feel kinda at a loss of what to do. I don't think less of them cuz everyone cries. Sure it seems girls do more often than guys, but I'm sure I've done my fair share of crying. : ) If I'm friends with her, I really try my best to make her feel better. I think I'm good at cheering people up...but who knows.
I also kind of agree with David, if I got in an argument with a girl, and she started to cry. Even if she doesn't mean to make me feel bad, it's kinda like a sucker punch. Cuz not even gonna lie, I'm a total sucker for a good puppy dog face or anything in close relation. : )
Your bro in Christ,
Jordan |
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jennygirl156
Posts:11
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| 05/12/2009 8:02 PM |
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| I personally find quieter, reserved guys more attractive, so I may not be the best to answer your question. For me if a guy doesn't make a big show about expressing his emotions, shows that he guards his feelings well. So if he opens up to me about a problem/feeling he has, I feel more special to be let inside his world. It shows that he trusts me. I grew up around guys, I only have brothers, and 12 cousins, who are all guys, and I've always hated when they'd make a big deal out of something just to get people to feel sorry for them. I know not all guys are like this. But it made me appreciate guys who only made a big deal out things that were truly important. This way I'd know he's upset, something is actually wrong. And if something is actually wrong, you feel free to cry all you want. I'd actually feel flattered if a guy would cry in front of me, because as I said it shows he trusts me enough to show his vulnerable side. And for me having a guys trust is the most important of all, because I know it's not given to just anyone. |
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Jenny |
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JoJo
Posts:969
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| 05/12/2009 10:10 PM |
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Grrr. I totally just wrote a long as reply...but the computer went mental!!!! but basically I agree with all the girls! I also agree with all the guys. I don't have time now to re-write my reply, but I will soon!!!  |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
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God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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Koudee
Posts:91
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| 05/13/2009 9:42 AM |
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Ok, here is one for the girls, I personally like it if a girl cried infront of me. Because a hug, and a few kind words do so much and makes me feel like such an awesome guy! =Koudee strikes a manley victory pose!= The moment is like "AHHA! I get to be a man for her!". Of course all the real emotion you have factors in as well, maybe I can't fix it but can't I at least put my arms around you untill you stop crying?
I have never been in an arguement with a girl and have her cry on me...hmm |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 05/13/2009 11:13 AM |
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haha, Koudee you crack me up, man. :p
anyway, well I agree with everybody. if a guy my age (17) cries when his fish dies...uh. get a life? if a guy cries when a close relative dies, go right ahead! let the water works come!
and, if I cry in front of a guy and I don't know him, no I'm not gonna expect him to be like, "oh dear! what's the matter?!" haha. it's seriously okay if he walks off or just stands there. I'll understand. but if he's a close friend and he walks away (and I'm crying for a ligit reason, not because I stubbed my toe), I'll probably get p-oed, sure. |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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David
Posts:499
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| 05/13/2009 12:22 PM |
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@Koudee: You've hit upon another very important matter in this whole thing. If we are able to fix things for you, or at least make you feel better, and you look up at us with those big eyes and we just know you think the world of us at that moment... Well, that's one of the best feelings imaginable. Of course, sometimes we'll do those things and you won't think the world of us. If we continue to act the same way (as in, trying to make you feel better), even without thanks, we are definitely being a Godly guy.
Haha, if you haven't had a girl cry during an argument with you, well... just wait.
@Emilyjanelle:Why should a guy not be allowed to have such an emotional attachment to his pets that if one dies he gets a little broken up? Why must the situation be as extreme as a relative dying before we are allowed to express emotion?
Also, if you cry in front of a random guy, chances are he will at the very least feel like he wants to help you, and will likely at least ask you if you are ok. It's just our programming.
If my tone sounds a little rough or accusatory, I really don't mean it as such. I'm really just trying to ask questions, not anger anyone, haha. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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emilyjanelle
Posts:510
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| 05/13/2009 12:27 PM |
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| yeah, I understand, david. I think you'll get my sarcasm after you spend more time here, haha. I tend to take one extreme, explain my opinion on it, and then go to the other end and explain it. what I really meant was, "if it's something dumb to cry over, um?" but if it's ligit, that's alright. y'know? |
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You may as well come quiet.
- Police Maxim |
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Adelynn
Posts:189
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| 05/13/2009 12:45 PM |
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After my nine-year old dog died from cancer, I cried a lot . I know a lot of people that have died from cancer, so it kind of connected to that in my mind, and besides that she was my baby girl, and I adored her. It was hard.
When my fish died, I threw it out. No tears.
It's a little different...
=] |
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"... I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy..." Acts 2.17
What If His People Prayed? |
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Nicole
Posts:302
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| 05/13/2009 11:14 PM |
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Man some of you guys crack me up . But for the record, i am in agreement with the opinion that us girls do want to see guys cry once in a while. To me it means he's not afraid to show what's really going on inside of him. On the other hand, I have to say that an over emotional guy can be a bit of a turnoff- to the extremes of crying over a getting a B on a test; not if he's had a stressful or hard time lately- I wouldn't blame him.
As for the guys, David, Swimmer, Koudee, you guys make me smile with your manly protectiveness. Koudee, of course you can put your arms around her while she cries. To be truthful, when a girl cries over something, she's not always looking for a solution when she turns to you, sometimes maybe, but most of the time she's just looking to be comforted, and holding her in your arms while she spends her tears is very comforting indeed. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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maddiegirl
Posts:210
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| 05/14/2009 4:54 PM |
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i think it's really admirable and courageous when guys cry, because
A they r allowing their feelings 2 show
B they r comfortable enough to cry in front of u
C they r not holding it in, which is good
D theyr being open (i cant think of a better word) and transparent (if u get what i mean????)
so i think its really admorable when guys cry 4 a genuine reason |
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