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Mut8ed1
Posts:1
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| 06/19/2009 1:54 AM |
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| Hello. I'm new here. If I was supposed to post somewhere else, I apologize, but I didn't see any "introduce yourself here" threads. So...
This is a question that has been bugging me for a long time.
What is love?
I think I may have experienced it, but I'm not sure. As far as I know, I treat girls exactly the same way I treat boys (and many a time have I been mercilessly taunted for that very reason) But there have been several occasions when I was nervous to approach a girl, even though she seemed very friendly and likable. I had no idea why. Although, in retrospect, I'm thinking that I might have been in love or had a crush. If I knew what love was, I could probably pin it down myself. But the only two major sources of information are Encyclopedias (which don't help very much) and Romance movies. In romances, they talk about "Oh, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love", never actually specifying what love is. So far all I can infer is that Love is an obsession with another person.
Any thoughts on my theory?
Sincerely,
Mut8ed1. |
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"Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive it isn't." -Richard Bach |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 06/19/2009 4:37 AM |
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Well, David would know how to answer this... but basically there's lust, and there's love.
Im guessing you've read the book?
But lust is basically an "I, I, I" attitude... and love is a "What can I do for them" attitude.
I know it's been said on other topics, but This is so true...
Love is:
Patient, Kind, it does not envy, it does not brag, it isn't proud
it is true, slow to anger, keeps no records of wrongs, it forgives... cant remember the rest... 
But i hope that's a start |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
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God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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David
Posts:499
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| 06/19/2009 4:41 PM |
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You can't get much better than the verse.
First off, there are many different kinds of love. The English language is inadequate in that we only have one word for many concepts. Do you love your wife the same way you love a good hot dog? Of course not. They are two different emotions. Greek has, I think, four different words for the differing types of this feeling. As you are speaking mostly of romantic love, I'll just address that one.
Unfortunately, there probably is no hard and fast definition of love to use. There are going to be many, many different facets of this emotion. There will be elements of infatuation and all manner of warm fuzzy feelings, but there will also be elements of genuine friendship and being willing to stick together through the bad times (when all those warm fuzzy feelings have gone away). I think true, real, lasting love is something that develops over time and is not something you genuinely experience right away. Intense attraction can lead to love if handled properly, certainly. Having a crush is not being in love though, at least as I'm defining it.
Love strengthens, deepens and grows as time progresses. But certainly, it will take time being with a girl before you are at a point where you can actually say you are in love with her, and it's not just an intense attraction.
To truly and deeply love a woman is to happily clean up her vomit when she's been sick and has been griping at you for days.
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 06/19/2009 8:30 PM |
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| Maybe this doesn't apply here...but I could have said I was in love with a young man, and he with me. Sparing details, we can't even be friends because of some church differences. So both of us hurt for weeks. Now I am friends with a young man that's is seriously interested in me. I like him a lot but frequently I remember the other young man, and it hurts. So how do I know which one got love and which one a crush?? I feel like a traitor to my friend because every once in awhile I burst out " I miss...so and so.." and he gets kind of hurt or jealous. |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 06/19/2009 11:17 PM |
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well, clare... that might be a soul tie thing... you need to figure out which guy you like, and which you want to date, and stick with him... then you've gotta break off all the emotional ties etc with the other...
it's not really a question of "which am I in love with, and which is just a crush?" because we use love too lightly these days...
I thought I was in love once or twice... turns out I wasn't... love is when you'd do anything for the other person, you'd die for them, you'd give up the rest of your life for them etc...
I loved what David said about loving someone even when they're sick... that shows true love.
Love is when your other half is dying, you don't forget them, or leave them, you're there for every single moment comforting them, building them up etc...
LOL thats all i can think of for now |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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MyLifeHisWill
Posts:184
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| 06/20/2009 11:08 AM |
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I completely agree with David and Jojo on this one. And of all the questions to be asked, as complicated as it is to answer, this has to be my favorite to respond to.
All love begins with some sort of attraction. Often physical, however, I know for me the times I really felt attracted to my boyfriend back when we first knew eachother were when he was being sweet or worshipping God. However, that isn't love. Love is something that grows and deapens. After attraction, I think a common trust and friendship needs to be formed before you can really move on into something more (however my parents met, got engaged and married in 10 months and they have been happily married for 19 years - so there is no cut and dry formula to love). When you get to know someone, you see deep into their hearts. You need to know thier likes and dislikes, the things they treasure, thier standards etc. My mom has always told me that once the "fuzzy" feelings fade and the honeymoon is over, its the friendship a relationship was built on that keeps a couple going after so many long, sometimes tough, and often amazing years. Just from personal expirience (though not the most reliable source), my boyfriend and I were friends for about a year and a half before things moved on. During this time, for a good six or more months, I considered him my best friend. He knew everything about me. (or I thought he did, I realize now there was so much more to learn about eachother as we moved into a more serious relationship). At that point in time, I thought I loved him. I thought I couldn't love him more. (Listen to "Then" by Brad Paisly) But the funny thing about love is it either stops or gets deeper, and thats what happended with us. Love in a relationship is this deep feeling and need to protect and please the one you love. Wether they are at thier lowest or highest, you want more than anything to be by thier side, to help them, to encourage them, to praise them, to congratulate them.
I agree with Jojo that David's example of loving a girl whose puking is extremely valid. Thats love. If you love the person, you will hold them (despite the fact you may get sick) and get them whatever they need when thier helpless. Love is when you see them all sick and looking thier worse, and somehow, to you- they are still just as attractive as they ever were. Just recently I went camping with my family and my boyfriend was staying with our best family friends in a tent (I was in a camper). Well, my mom gave him permission to come in the camper early in the morning and wake me up. For six mornings he saw me with fuzy hair and smeared makeup in my pjs, and everytime he saw me he would look at me (with true sincerity) and say, "You look so cute." And even if I shook my head, I knew he meant what he said. When you love someone, you would take the blame for them, you'd suffer the consequences. Yet, you still know how to tell the person you love that they may be wrong, in love, and you arn't afraid to confront them. Love is totally honest. You don't lie or hide your feelings, even feelings of irritation. You always are upfront about how you feel. You communicate on a deeper level. Neither side is left guessing because both sides make an effort to explain themselves to eachother. You realize you are not always right, and often have to deffer your own preference to prefer the one you love. You are humble with one another. You don't treat yourself as better than the one you love. Love is a two-way street. Both sides give as much as they take. Love fufills the roles both men and women have in a relationship. Love, when young, is willing to wait, because they know the wait is worth it. Love doesn't put pressure on one another, or have unfair expectations. Love is faithful. Love is not violent or abusive. Love swallows angry words. Words spoken in anger are often later regretted. Its important to let yourself cool off before discussing a heated topic with one another. Love, most of all, is forgiving. I love in Corinthians where it says, "Love keeps no record of wrongs." Love forigives and forgets. Finally, as Jesus said, "Greater love hath no man than this, than to lay down his life for his friend." <3
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I don't want to just "live" I want to experience life. |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 06/20/2009 11:24 PM |
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| Thanks that was really good. I used to dislike my boyfriend when we just met. He just wasn't my kind of guy. but the more I've learned to know him he is just amazing. I can't say I'm in love with him, I take love very seriously. But in time I think I can say I love him. I'm going to give my heart to only one man and he knows that. He already knows I'm the one for him, I'm just taking it a little bit slower!! |
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Nicole
Posts:547
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| 06/25/2009 7:30 PM |
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Wow. MLHW, you couldn't have said it better. Jojo, I agree that love is nowadays passed and pushed around too lightly. It's sad. I really believe love should be taken seriously and you can't get a better definition of love than God himself. The Bible states it well in 1 Corinthians 13, or even the verse MLHW mentioned at the end of her post.  In other posts we've mentioned that you can't listen to the messages the media pushes at you through chick flicks and romance novels; one of the reasons being (at least i believe so) is that a girl will see a hot guy, they'll talk for like 2 minutes and then she declares "I think i'm in love!" PLEASE. That kind of supposed "love" will break up faster than a speeding ticket and it is not strong enough to pass the test of time, certainly not the kind of love God means. I think Jojo hits the mark when she said that love is a "what can i do for them" attitude. When you love someone, you will whatever it takes to do what is best for them, not yourself. Again the Bible hits it in the head, and Christ demonstrates this love for us by not only dying on the cross for us when we did not deserve it, but by being an example for us everyday as well. |
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whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect -Mark Twain |
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daCooksta
Posts:7
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| 07/05/2009 4:04 AM |
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| I agree with all of the previous posters, in that Love is when you would do anything to make the other person happy or better. It's when you completely trust someone, and want what's best for them, not yourself. Also, I love the title of this thread. What is love? Baby don't hurt me... |
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