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Ashlen
Posts:3
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| 06/30/2009 8:13 PM |
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There is this guy, he is one of the sweetest guys i've ever met, & he is very resectful, like, i couldnt much see us going past a lttle bit of kissing, if that. But anyways, we hung out in April, i called him up, & asked if he could hang out cause I was going through some stuff & just needed a friend, he said he could, & offered to pay for some foodage, after I said I didn't have any money to eat out [he said about meeting, or going to this diner...]. So we go, & he's being SO nice, we got on the God subect, & i was saying about how I used to have an eating disorder & how that kind of took me away from Him, he than told me that I look great, and that I shouldn't think that I would need to have one. & he called me beautiful :] [which wan't the firt time..]
The nxt day at church, we were hanging out, & his best friend showed 'acceptence' towards me, which to me was pretty big.... I, than precedded to tell my best friend, whos known him FOREVER, aboutm all this, & she said that I should tell him that I liked him. I wanted to... but i just wasn't raised that way. So instead, i kept planning to tell him, but always backing down, & it got to the point that I felt SO uncomfortable around him.
I miss our friendship... & i feel like by freaking out over that 'telling him i like him' thing, I ruined something that could have been awesome. granted, it's all in God's plans, but now I don't know how to get back to what we had.
The other night I also texted him, really upset, having a realy bad emotional breakdown [that made me wanna cut, & have thoughts of suicide. they dont happen that often....but it was pretty bad], asking for prayer. He insisted upon knowing what was wrong, & so i told him [& about the cutting, & suicidal-ness], & i think i freaked him out... & now I feel like I've dug myself into an even deeper whole (v_v) |
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David
Posts:499
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| 06/30/2009 8:57 PM |
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First, if you self-injure and have suicidal thoughts, even if rare, I would strongly recommend telling a trusted adult (a parent or pastor) about this, and have them help you. Dealing with those two things is not something you should do alone. Please heed this advice.
As far as this guy, if he's a decent guy, he'll be able to look past it. Are you sure his freaking out wasn't him just worried about you? |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 06/30/2009 10:44 PM |
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If the moment keeps somehow slipping away, and you just can't bring yourself to tell him that you like him, there is probably a reason. That's what I've learned... I'm not afraid of confrontation, so sometimes I've ignored my instincts, and in the end, they were right.
About freaking him out, you might be right- I would be really worried about my friend if they told me that they were having a breakdown, and I've had a few (a few really bad ones, too). But if he is strong enough and brave enough to be there for you, that's a good (and necessary) thing. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Koudee
Posts:91
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| 07/01/2009 2:50 PM |
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If I were you, I would tell him. But I would say it along the lines of "Hey, I think you deserve to know something".
Because chanses are he allready suspects that you do, and this way he can clear up weather he is just trying to be a good friend, or is interested in you too.
You are asking a lot of him. Ashlen, I can tell you from personal experience that this isn't the time in your life for a relationship, you just need some freinds, and some people you can really trust.
You know, they did some brain scans on people who said they were in love, and one of the things that they found supriseing was that in all of these people the parts of the brain that were related to anxiety also lit up when the people thought of thier significant other. People who said they were madley in love over a period of 25 years showed brain activity in the parts of the brain assioated with pain supression, and the axiety parts of the brain didn't light up as much.
Stress is a part of any relationship, it just comes with the terrirory, and I don't think you really need that right now.
my facebook e-mail is vhan023@hotmail.com look me up and maybe we can talk some more ok?
I'll encourage you here as well as in any dicussion we have to establish somebody close by you can talk to. If your like me you hate shrinks, but hey they can get mad at you for bringing them your problems each week like your freinds would, because they are getting paied eh? |
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Ashlen
Posts:3
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| 07/03/2009 10:43 PM |
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David: I've told adults... I mean, i dunno. they were just like.... 'stop.'. Ha! But anyways... I dunno, i got Jesus, & at this point, He's the only reason I've really stopped or AM stopping. I told my one friend...she called me stupid. I was like, 'wow, way to help a cutter...' haha. but it's cool, i've had urges since than, & not done it.
& I realized, that the only reason i thought I freaked him out, was because my friend told me he was probably just freaked out. In reality, he was so sweet, & really helped me through it, but my friend telling me that he was probably just saying those things to make me feel better, kind of made me question him, i guess.
Adelynn: I've deffinately felt the desire to tell him that I like him, it's just I have this epic fear that i'll tell him & just get an epic rejection in return. & i guess i'm not really up for that... I've prayed about, & keep getting like, mixed answers back. & than my feelings for him keep on flip flopping... so i'm just not sure whether to just go ahead with telling him or not at this point...
Koudee: It would be nice to just get everything out in the open...
& I wouldn't be surprised if he knew already... basically the whole youth group knows. haha. even the leader (v_v) lol
tcha dude.. I mean, I think at the very moment I would maybe wanna tell him, & than kind of be like, 'but lets hang out more so we can see for sure if we both like eachother, & would want to date'. Cause I'm also going to Guatemala in two weeks, so I just want the next month or so to just kind of be me & God, & making new friends on this trip... But maybe by the time I get back i'll be ready. who knows! haha
heh. yeah... or even just liking someone is stressful. & honestly, i'm not like a suicidal person or anything, it's just every once & a while I have an attack thinger. i dunno...
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Shelby
Posts:4
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| 07/04/2009 12:50 AM |
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you probably don't want to hear this, but if you're struggling with cutting or suicidal thoughts or anything that emotionally rough it would probably be best to NOT date for a while.
when you date and enter into romantic relationships you expose yourself to a lot of emotional stress
in fact, if you did end up in a relationship with this guy or someone else it probably would go smoother and last longer if you waited until God set you completely free
be careful and surround yourself with people who love you and treat you well
best wishes
shelby |
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Ashlen
Posts:3
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| 07/04/2009 5:52 PM |
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| Yeah... I probably will wait a little while. thank you =] |
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David
Posts:499
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| 07/06/2009 5:36 PM |
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| Shelby makes a good point. You probably need to work on and seek help for the self-injury. Being in a relationship at this point may just make it worse. |
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Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
- C.S. Lewis |
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