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Ballet Dancer
Posts:2
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| 02/20/2010 6:32 PM |
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| Well my best friend just broke up with her girlfriend, and now that he is single I realized I don't just want to be friends. I realized after they broke up, that I'm ''falling'' for him, I started to crush on him. After he got dumped we were talking about my crushes, I didn't really want to tell him I liked him, but he did tell me that he liked me, but he didn't want to think of me in another way because he values our friendship. Some time after that, he told me he didn't like me anymore and that he liked this other girl in our class. When he told me that, I was kinda broken, because I wanted him. We tell everything to each other, we support each other, we care about each other. I just don't know how to tell him that I like him, and that I want to be his girlfriend, not just friends. I really think that we are good for each other, that we are a good match for each other. Should I tell him? Should I not? I don't know what to do, and I would really appreciate your help and thoughts. Thank you, ~M. |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 02/21/2010 10:14 AM |
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Ballet!!! Yes!!!! haha sorry =]
What would dating him bring you? Fun for awhile, until he because bored. Which seems to be pretty fast, just looking at his track record. I know it's always different, there is more to the story than the stats, but... it seems that you might be his good friend for longer than you would be his girlfriend, and then you'd lose him completely after you broke up. I'd suggest just enjoying his friendship, but if that's too painful, then you deserve someone who is worthy of your trust and your time and of the love you will pour into them- in other words, someone who will stick around. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Liz
Posts:341
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| 02/21/2010 9:52 PM |
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I second Adelynn (which happens alot  She's a very smart girl!)
Just wondering- How old are you? I am a staunch believer in not dating until you're older! I'm 17 and I don't plan on dating until I feel I'm absolutly ready to get married, and then I have to wait to find someone who i would want to marry.
If he's not the one you might one day marry, this means you're spending alot of time and emotion on him. Not to mention you're "telling him everything". I wouldn't really like my future husband knowing everything aobut another girl.
Just some thoughts. |
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A girl should be so lost in God that a guy has to go in Him in order to find her |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 02/22/2010 8:25 AM |
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Thank you, Liz! =]
Liz is right about telling him too much, too. Been there, done that, got my heart broken when I found out that I didn't really know him as well as I thought I did, because he- randomly, in my opinion at the tme- started dating this girl, but then he told me he had liked her for a really long time, it just hadn't been the right time for them. And I had focused so much on him that I didn't really have any girlfriends to cry to, and of course I didn't have the right to be upset with him, since he hadn't encouraged me to fall for him or anything. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 02/22/2010 3:01 PM |
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These girls got good advice! Some times, as hard as it is, the only way you can be a good friend for a long time with a guy is to just remain friends. If you dated him and in a short amount of time he broke up ( he's building himself a reputation here) after you two broke up you wouldn't be good friends anymore. Chances are he will date this girl maybe break up and then go for you. If that happens you are in a tough spot.
I think you should give him space to like who he likes and yes, how old are you? If you're 15 I would say something different then if you're like 18 |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 02/24/2010 1:29 AM |
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I just read a great article on the whole "Buddy" thing between girls and guys, and its NOT a good place for a girl to place herself in, because, she's thinking "This could maybe work out and I can hold on to that teeny bit of hope and stay in this no matter how much I'm hurting... but guys see it as "this girl is a great friend (and not all of them but most of them wouldn't even think about upgrading the friendship to a relationship...) kinda like how david was saying how when a guy gets turned down by a girl, they cease to be friends, because he can't handle only being friends with her... and idk maybe girls should do that more, if it's NOT going anywhere, and the guy wont ever come to the realization (as most girls think he would) that she's the one... IDk you have to read it on the boundless webzine website. the title is something to do with "buddies" cant quite remember...
I'd say, tell him straight up how you feel, cuz even if it turns into nothing, better to get hurt now, and move on easier, than get more emotionally involved and find out later it wouldn't work, and be even more shattered... i've had to go through this with alot of my youth girls (and some of the sensitive guys) and they just do it over and over again and dont listen...
ANYWAYS... it's probably better to suss out exactly what he thinks... |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 02/24/2010 1:32 AM |
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oh and never poor your heart out to a guy you like, cuz they dont see it as a "I want you to know all about me and I wanna know all about you" even though we do. been there done that, took the picture, bought the t-shirt.
It wasn't a good idea, and he's still so blind as to what I was meaning by becoming his buddy... emotionally... so yeah, I agree with all of the girls above... and sometimes it's hard, but in the end it's better... even if you cant see it. gosh I wish I knew that fact YEARS ago  |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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