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music
Posts:11
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| 03/20/2010 1:48 AM |
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| Hello,
I am new to this forum and really need advice from anyone. So here is my story: I met a guy at college and just started to talk to him. I found out that he is not Christian and when i invited him to church he doen't want to come. I am a christian and want to witness to him about Christ. Its really hard because I know that he likes me, he gives me compliments and just all of that stuff. He is really cute and nice but not Christian and that relly bugs me. I want him to come to Christ and not becuse of me and that I want him to be Christian, but because of what Jesus did for him on the cross.
So my question for you is: What should I do? Should I continue to be casual with him? Or if he asks me on a date ( he said he wants to get to know me better), should I go?( he invited me to his house a few times, but I refused) Do you think its still possible that he might come to Christ? Should I continue a relationship with him? And overall what are your thoughts/opinions on this? |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 03/20/2010 9:15 AM |
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haha I've thought so much about this... but it's still hard to explain, and even harder to take my own advice.
But any relationship I've been in with a non-Christian has ended badly. How else would it end? I realize that my thoughts aren't on God anymore, even just passing thoughts, and that isn't right. A guy is not more important than the one who created me! There are people who make me a better person, a better Christian, and we work well as a team for God, which isn't what happens when one person isn't a Christian; why would it?
Since dating can only end three ways- you get married, you break up, or you die (there are three! But I don't expect any dying =), which is more likely? Of course you could get married, but you could end up marrying him when he isn't a Christian, and not only is it in the Bible that that isn't encouraged (I had to highlight this in my Bible: "Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?" 2 Cor. 6.14-15) but it won't help your relationship with God. It simply isn't His best for us!
If you break up- well, what kind of message would that give him about Christians? Because he will always be judging you as a Christian, that is just how things work. I do the same thing when I know someone is a Christan, I watch to see how they react to things, what kind of reflection they have of Christ. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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music
Posts:11
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| 03/20/2010 1:40 PM |
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| Ok..I understand what you are saying..then what should I do? Should I suddenly stop talking to him? Should I tell him my concerns? What I should do now, agreeing with what you have said?
Anyone else has any thoughts/opinions on this? |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 03/20/2010 3:18 PM |
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Usually if it's a girl trying to witness and help a guy, it often ends with him liking her and changing just so he can get her. I've known a few cases like that. One girl dated a Mormon, and he "became a christian" and they got married, and he went back to the Mormon church. But praise God HE wasn't through and now that young couple is not Mormon and leading a great bible study! That is a rare case...
he's going to be watching you as a Christian, if you date him chances are he will try to wear you down, see what you allow and try to change you. If you start weakening it will give him a bad impression of Christianity and may ruin any opportunity for witnessing. If you stay strong, and tell him you won't date him because you believe you should only date those who believe like you, and you stick to that, he will respect you even if he never talked to you again. All people can't stand someone who is wishy washy in their opinions and beliefs. Saying something and sticking to your word all the way through might make him think "hey there might be something there if she's standing up for it so hard".
As Adelynn said, if you dated and broke up, in his mind he will start to classify Christians and mean and not caring and hypocrites. When he thinks of Christian, his mind will classify it as the hurt he experienced form one.
No one can tell you what to do, it's your choice. Those are just my small opinions |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 03/20/2010 3:57 PM |
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I definitely think that if you want to be friends with him, you can be- but it might be a good idea to make it clear that you won't date him. Not that you won't date him unless he's a Christian, but that you won't date him at all. That way if he becomes a Christian you won't have to wonder about the sincerity of his interest in Christ- it won't be for a one night stand with you, it will be for God. Although if he becomes the man God plans for you to marry, you are aloud to change your mind... just don't let the guy in on that secret yet =D
Another thing, it's only your responsibility to be a Christian witness with your everyday life, not to witness to this guy personally and specifically. I'm all for women being equal with men, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to fancy myself in love if I pour out my heart to a guy or if a guy comes crying to me. That is simply how humans connect, and God is a deep subject. Someday, if I am ever married, I hope to do a Bible study with my husband, but in the meantime, I'm uncomfortable sharing so much of myself- my emotions, my thoughts- with a guy. Does that make sense? |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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music
Posts:11
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| 03/21/2010 2:42 AM |
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Thanks...
Any guys have any opinions/thoughts on this? |
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Grant I.
Posts:184
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| 03/21/2010 3:03 PM |
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Posted By music on 03/20/2010 1:48 AM
Hello,
I am new to this forum and really need advice from anyone. So here is my story: I met a guy at college and just started to talk to him. I found out that he is not Christian and when i invited him to church he doen't want to come. I am a christian and want to witness to him about Christ. Its really hard because I know that he likes me, he gives me compliments and just all of that stuff. He is really cute and nice but not Christian and that relly bugs me. I want him to come to Christ and not becuse of me and that I want him to be Christian, but because of what Jesus did for him on the cross.
So my question for you is: What should I do? Should I continue to be casual with him? Or if he asks me on a date ( he said he wants to get to know me better), should I go?( he invited me to his house a few times, but I refused) Do you think its still possible that he might come to Christ? Should I continue a relationship with him? And overall what are your thoughts/opinions on this?
First things first, welcome to the forums!!!
As long as his non-Christian beliefs don't start rubbing off on you, (gotta be careful, because alot of 'em you won't notice until it's too late), I don't see anything wrong with being casual friends with him. I mean, don't just be a snob or anything. As far as dating, I would say no. Just tell him that you have decided that you won't date guys that aren't Christians to protect yourself. If you don't wave in front of his nose and act all snooty about it, if he's a man, he'll respect that, and you. Good for you for not going to his house. You just started talking to him, he's not a Christian. That scares me. With God, all things are possible. Until you see genuine results, I wouldn't even consider a romantic relationship with him. As far as witnessing to him, do it with your life. Show him that you're real, and that God is real through your actions, etc. It sounds like you kinda like him, so be extra careful that you don't compromise in ANY areas just for him. Good luck!
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Liz
Posts:341
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| 03/21/2010 6:09 PM |
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Hmmm...I'm not so sure about this. I totally get that you want him to become a believer, but if You're the one trying to convince him...well, what if he does it, but only because you want him to. Or maybe you're spending alot of time with him and you get attached and things head downhill.
If you and maybe another guy friend invite this guy to church and other events, or simply ask someone to "make him their project" (in the VERY loose sense)
I don't know...clear as mud? |
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A girl should be so lost in God that a guy has to go in Him in order to find her |
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clare
Posts:932
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| 03/22/2010 4:56 PM |
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| @ Adelynn...I guess I'm the exact opposite, for the lack of girl friends in my life I've learned to get pretty comfortable talking to guys. Not always a necessarily good thing. I can't really help it. But something needs to change.... |
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JoJo
Posts:1657
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| 03/22/2010 5:13 PM |
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ok totally been in your situation...
basically if you tell him you wont date anyone that's NOT a christian, he's more likely just to become one to date you...
whereas if you say you dont date non christians and dont mind just being friends but nothing more, he can then choose if he wants to be a christian or not based on his own choice...
idk it is tricky, but if he does become a christian, dont make the mistake of dating him straight off... cuz more often than not, he's just done it for you... i'd wait a decent amount of time to see if it was genuine, and never let him know you might date him, or he's more likely to put on a charade until you do...
I've known tonnes of guys who become christians just to get girls.... and most of them fall away, cuz they were never serious.
IDK... what do the rest of you think? |
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Turn up the music
Turn it up loud
Take a few chances
Let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Lookin' back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
God Bless!
Mwah XOXO
JoJo |
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