Advice From Fellow Readers

He wont speak to me

nesewig — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 17:52:38 GMT

A couple days ago, while trying to diffuse my husbands anger about something minor in the home, I compared his behavior to someone he does not like. He took this as a major insult - although none was intended. After reading the book, I discovered that I disrepected him. He only speaks to me when necessary and is very distant. When I ask how long he intends to behave this way, he just says "I don't know". I do not know what to do. We have had several problems with our marriage in the past few years where I have emotionally distanced myself from him, but in the past three months we have been communicating better and getting closer. This last argument set us way back. What can I do? I told him that I will still bring him into my life and speak to him and be cordial. Is there any way that I can get us back to normal? We have a 5 year old daughter and I dont want her to grow up in a home where her parents are just coexisting. His behaviour deeply hurts me. We don't have a church and he has no male friends. Please help me!

what was the hardest thing to adjust after marriage?

Hilda — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 16:21:20 GMT

i'm single, but with a possibility of a relationship on the horizon...i'm just contemplating things to consider about how to go about the relationship. things to work on and things i don't need to work on cuz they might solve by themselves. any advice on that? i want to take it slow. and not jump into it and make a fool of myself. i've been living on my own for quite some time and used to making my own decisions and taking care of everything but willing to start a relationship. so what was the hardest thing to adjust to or get used to after marriage?

men are visual vs. women just have sexier bodies!?

jlwika16 — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 23:00:20 GMT

Ok, here's a question to throw out there.... Are men visual because they are men, or could it be possible that part (if not most) of the reason is simply because a woman's body is just way more physically sexier? I mean, hear me out for a second... even as a woman (who is completly straight and hates porn) I can see that there is something very alluring to looking at a naked woman's body and I myself sometimes can be drawn to looking at a woman's cleavage or a sexy picture of a woman. And to be honest, if I'm not careful, I can easily get turned on by it (and not in a way that makes me WANT that woman at all...but just in a way that gets my general sexual desires kicking in). And I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way because 3 of my female coworkers (who are all straight and married) and I were talking one day about how we'd all much rather look at a picture of a naked woman's body vs a naked man's body (not that I'd want to do either...) and that they too have a hard time not looking when a woman's cleavage is out for the world to see. So I don't know...are we women really being honest with ourselves? I can't imagine I and my coworkers are the only "visual" woman out there! What do you gals think?

Giving Space

brothani — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 13:22:05 GMT

I am going through a rough time with my wife. I love her dearly but we have recently seperated. the last four years were rough on both of us. I had an extreme medical condition that turned me into a monster. I was never physical or mentally abusive, however emotionally I wasn't there for my wife because of my illness. Now she has seperated from me and says she wants space. the problem is I can't seem to do this because Im the one who made her feel like this. I feel I have to fix it! is there anyone out there who can give some advice on how to accomplish this before I lose my wife? thank you.

Am I the only one this is happening too?

Tarstt — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 15:02:33 GMT

Hi I've been married 19 years and through all this time my DH has been verbally abusive at times. In the last two years I can't go a weekend without being degraded or argued with and I've gotten to the place where I'm just plain fed up! DH also has a terrible temper and breaks things when he gets angry. Fed up of feeling bad and crying and trying again over and over. It seems like I'm the only one working on the marriage. I'm reading the book FWO and I find it very insightful as well as frustrating. It seems to make a point that all we have to do is to make the man feel good about himself and nothing of his responsibility to act in a loving manner to his wife. I have ask him to go to marriage counseling several times which he refuses time after time. I haven't been totally 100% respectful throughout our marriage and have made amends for this when I haven't been. My DH's refusal to even work on the marriage is really bothering me. I guess I've come just about to the end of my rope. I'm still going to finish reading the book and put into practice the rest of it. I guess my question is when is enough, enough. Does God really want me in a relationship where I get hurt time after time.

HE KISS OTHER GIRL?

ZULLYPAZ — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:51:54 GMT

What do you think if your boyfriend (really engaged) kiss other girl before the engagement day and he told you a few months after the engagemente day. What is your opinion? He is so sorry about that and he works to improve the relation.

Wife is willing but, husband can't.

rabolnik — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 15:31:04 GMT

What do you do when the husband medically can not have an erection. In the years past I have been willing to have just foreplay but, I end up sad and broken for him and for myself. I know this area in our marriage is on one of the reason for our troubles. Does anyone have any answers.

is it possible....

Hilda — Mon, 24 May 2010 22:25:59 GMT

is it possible that the guy that God has intended for you as a spouse in the future, that even tho you are only friends now, but that you can feel he is struggling spiritually,....i do not no why i have that feeling but it just seems like there is something and he is struggling with something. like i said we are only friends. nothing more. but in my heart there is more...

confused and in search of some answers...

Hilda — Mon, 24 May 2010 22:21:30 GMT

anyone got some advice? it seems like my spiritual life has somewhat faded...even tho i hate to admit to it. but it just seems that way. i don't want it to be like that, i want to live a godly life, but it just seems kinda dead now. is God trying to teach me something... what am i doing wrong... there is someone whom i have liked for many years, and i have been hurt twice by him dating another girl, and twice that he broke up with them. and to this day i still feel towards him the way i have for years. and it`s not just a ``gotta love someone`` love! but it seems like a real love. i have a minister from our church(and also other people hinted at it) telling me i should date this guy! it hit me pretty hard when he said that, coming from a minister! it just seemed like that was something maybe from God. i want to be patient and trust God that He will in due time open the door for me to have someone to love and honour, cherish for the rest of my life. but i am just kinda confused....i have alot of christian friends, i attend church regularily, taught sunday school, attend bible studies during the week. but somewhere along the line it just seems like things are off balance.

how to reject husband lovingly if too tired for sex

riri0301 — Mon, 17 May 2010 23:17:49 GMT

i understand how important it is for a man to feel loved thru sex that the closeness reassures them but lets say on the nights that you are exhausted beyond belief and or are not in the mood how do you say it gently and lovingly without making him feel unwanted